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How to accept never having a girlfriend when its what you want most in the world
Thread starterunloveable27
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I'm an ugly, autistic short kisslees virgin at 27. My ctb plan is my 28th birthday because the older I get the more embarrassing it is. It seems like there's nowhere to even meet women my age, all meetups I've tried have been middle aged men.
My ex was long distance and we only got to meet two days in real-life. They were the best days of my life so far, and I know it's all downhill from here.
How am I supposed to live knowing I'll never have that again? Life gets more miserable the longer it goes on. Drugs are the only thing that make me happy anymore. If only I hadn't driven her away with my drinking.
Reactions:
Joarga, enjoytheride, Lostandlooking and 6 others
According to what im being told, you're supposed to just shut up and go work a dumb shitty job for the rest of your life and have a random ass hobby, because who needs love/affection when you can be a capitalistic pawn who's into *insert dumb bullshit* here ! Hell yeah, why would i want to start a family when i can be content with barely above wage for a corporation that doesnt give a shit about me, so i can buy stupid shit until i die, nice !
Same, every kind of social event i attend, weither it be volunteering, classes, groups of this, groups of that, always middle aged men, the homeless, extreme mental health cases, and if by some miracle there's women you can guarantee theyre literal grandmas lol. Alright, being given proper homemade spaghetti sauce by a grandma is pretty nice though, it has this one advantage.
Reactions:
DownwardSpiral, foreverandever, enjoytheride and 7 others
I know how you feel and i have it way worse. I am a 43 year KHHV and i barely manage the day to day. If you find a way to cope besides drugs please tell me.
Reactions:
soulchaser_, Joarga, enjoytheride and 5 others
That you are atleast not living in poverty and 3rd world mess. If I was virgin ( I'm a virgin,uggy with ASD in real life too) and in a good country with opportunity I would spend my whole time exploring and learning about various stuffs. But my financial and where I'm from restricted all of these, no mental health support. I wish you all the best and peace.
man, don't call yourself unloveable. i can kind off relate because i'm also having trouble finding good people in my life and im feeling lonely because of that every single day. i havent yet found a cure to this feeling of not belonging but doing sports really helps to cope with life. seriously man you should try going to the gym if you can afford it. it will increase your self esteem and honestly it just feels like a drug. you just kinda stop thinking about all the negative aspects of life for a few hours. this isnt a solution for loneliness but trust me it will make life less of a burden. i hope you'll eventually find your love
The only silver lining I can tell you regarding this is that relationships and people in general tend to be crap and can become devoid of any sense of empathy and duty towards one another once they decide to betray or pull the plug. I learned that the hard way. And there are legit horror stories out there that are ironically caused by people who were supposed to be sanctuary to their partner, not their executor.
So If what you wish for is long term stability and loyalty that seems to be getting rarer by the day. From that perspective you're better off on your own really. Love for most is a cheap resource.
I don't have a girlfriend either. I am in my 20s as well.
My problems is not just women, but connection with people in general, male or female.
Connecting with men is very hard. Connecting with women seems even harder.
I would have to find a woman that would fall in love with me.
I can't imagine living the life of a normal human being.
I failed all the social rites of passage one can imagine. I literally did nothing during teen years due to my mental illness.
I didn't go out with friends basically, and never had any love. I was so lonely...
That makes me sad, as I always wanted... something... someone.
It is not about women, as simply having a relationship isn't enough. I don't think a relationship fixes everything.
What I want is deeper than that. Connection, community, care... these are all words that come to my mind.
I am just tired of being the outcast of society. I am tired of being the outsider, the one people always pick last.
I hate that all of this happened to me, and that now I need to carry such a heavy burden.
I hate how traumatic these experiences were.
Anyway, I empathize with you. I know how difficult it is.
I don't care if people don't take it seriously. I know what I suffered and I understand your suffering as well.
Sending virtual hugs.
Reactions:
EternalShore, enjoytheride, Dinorun and 4 others
According to what im being told, you're supposed to just shut up and go work a dumb shitty job for the rest of your life and have a random ass hobby, because who needs love/affection when you can be a capitalistic pawn who's into *insert dumb bullshit* here ! Hell yeah, why would i want to start a family when i can be content with barely above wage for a corporation that doesnt give a shit about me, so i can buy stupid shit until i die, nice !
Same, every kind of social event i attend, weither it be volunteering, classes, groups of this, groups of that, always middle aged men, the homeless, extreme mental health cases, and if by some miracle there's women you can guarantee theyre literal grandmas lol. Alright, being given proper homemade spaghetti sauce by a grandma is pretty nice though, it has this one advantage.
All I can think of when somebody tells me "Learn to be happy with yourself and do hobbies and play le epic video games!" is the old memes about "Who needs love when I have Funko Pops?" Not to be rude, but I don't think either of us can be too harsh on "mental health cases" lol. If anything, I sometimes think I would prefer having a partner who is a little depressed or something since I think a NT gf wouldn't get me or the things I've been through.
The only silver lining I can tell you regarding this is that relationships and people in general tend to be crap and can become devoid of any sense of empathy and duty towards one another once they decide to betray or pull the plug. I learned that the hard way. And there are legit horror stories out there that are ironically caused by people who were supposed to be sanctuary to their partner, not their executor.
So If what you wish for is long term stability and loyalty that seems to be getting rarer by the day. From that perspective you're better off on your own really. Love for most is a cheap resource.
Idk if I would go as far as you, but speaking as somebody who considers himself to have a decent number of friends irl I can tell you that you're on the money about your points on empathy and duty. Relationships are ultimately an exchange in value, and the second you can't provide value people will throw you out to the curb faster than you can blink.
I know how you feel and i have it way worse. I am a 43 year KHHV and i barely manage the day to day. If you find a way to cope besides drugs please tell me.
I failed all the social rites of passage one can imagine. I literally did nothing during teen years due to my mental illness.
I didn't go out with friends basically, and never had any love. I was so lonely...
This...I think since we never experienced any kind of genuine connection it's so easy to idealize it. We end up expecting friendship or love to finally fill that emptiness...but no connection can erase the past
Hugs to op and everyone <3
Reactions:
enjoytheride, unloveable27 and discreetmadness
All I can think of when somebody tells me "Learn to be happy with yourself and do hobbies and play le epic video games!" is the old memes about "Who needs love when I have Funko Pops?" Not to be rude, but I don't think either of us can be too harsh on "mental health cases" lol. If anything, I sometimes think I would prefer having a partner who is a little depressed or something since I think a NT gf wouldn't get me or the things I've been through.
Idk if I would go as far as you, but speaking as somebody who considers himself to have a decent number of friends irl I can tell you that you're on the money about your points on empathy and duty. Relationships are ultimately an exchange in value, and the second you can't provide value people will throw you out to the curb faster than you can blink.
I don't have anything to say to this other than that's brutal and I just want to offer condolences. Life is truly not fair.
Make that depressed partner a goth and it's A DEAL. Sadly the mental health cases where ive attended was never like, memey depressed people, it's weird old men that keep creeping on me or telling me 10 times in an afternoon they think im gay lol
Reactions:
N-methylamphetamine and BeansOfRequirement
I seen you make this post before and proceed to ignore everyone's advice and insist women only care about looks. You also said you were "blackpilled" and keep regurgitating incel rhetoric. Get over your victim complex and figure it out, or if you neeeeeeed a girlfriend so horribly bad but keep wanting to pity yourself then I guess you're right, seems like ctb'ing is the best choice for you.
People on the internet are so mean man lol. "You have a victim complex. You should kill yourself." Idk exactly what OP believes that you find so objectionable, but surely you can recognize that this is not the best thing to say given the TPO right? You would think people on suicide forums would have some level of empathy smh.
Reactions:
turstehers, enjoytheride, seeyoulater26 and 4 others
I'm an ugly, autistic short kisslees virgin at 27. My ctb plan is my 28th birthday because the older I get the more embarrassing it is. It seems like there's nowhere to even meet women my age, all meetups I've tried have been middle aged men.
My ex was long distance and we only got to meet two days in real-life. They were the best days of my life so far, and I know it's all downhill from here.
How am I supposed to live knowing I'll never have that again? Life gets more miserable the longer it goes on. Drugs are the only thing that make me happy anymore. If only I hadn't driven her away with my drinking.
People on the internet are so mean man lol. "You have a victim complex. You should kill yourself." Idk exactly what OP believes that you find so objectionable, but surely you can recognize that this is not the best thing to say given the TPO right? You would think people on suicide forums would have some level of empathy smh.
Never said they should kill themself, simply that if they're so set on the idea that having a gf is the only thing that will fix their suicidality yet continue to engage with incel rhetoric then ok, they can resign themself to that and ctb like they want to instead of whining about it and refusing to listen to anyone. Yes I am mean to incels. I don't respect people who spew harmful rhetoric about women/society online, which absolutely does have real effects on the outside world. Have you ever actually read the shit blackpilled people post? Have you heard of Elliot Rodger?
All I'm saying is that if they don't want to deconstruct their views and start trying to get real help then fuck off. This website isn't a place for incels to be. Go to the incels forums and complain but this is for people who actually respect women and don't drink so much they get broken up with then claim women just care about looks.
Reactions:
discreetmadness, neurotoxic and tomatobastard
I'm an ugly, autistic short kisslees virgin at 27. My ctb plan is my 28th birthday because the older I get the more embarrassing it is. It seems like there's nowhere to even meet women my age, all meetups I've tried have been middle aged men.
My ex was long distance and we only got to meet two days in real-life. They were the best days of my life so far, and I know it's all downhill from here.
How am I supposed to live knowing I'll never have that again? Life gets more miserable the longer it goes on. Drugs are the only thing that make me happy anymore. If only I hadn't driven her away with my drinking.
do not blame it on your genetics, as much as looks matter i knew a guy that was in the military, incredibly short, fat, not cute overall. He was incredibly good with women, he was around 5'4, got a girl pregnant in high school and now messes with women in the military. There is no single best way to get a partner, but sharing hobbies and finding someone within your niche or interests might be the best way in doing so.
Thank you. It really means a lot to me even getting a simple offer of condolences like that is more than i usually get. Being an ugly man is the worst.
If anything, I sometimes think I would prefer having a partner who is a little depressed or something since I think a NT gf wouldn't get me or the things I've been through.
I don't think I would have much hope with 'normal' women. I can't imagine hitting on women at bars or night clubs; it seems foreign to me.
I tried to go to a very 'wild' party in the past, but I quickly left as it just wasn't my thing. I was just being a jester—it wasn't the real me.
Flirting seems to require such roundabout ways of communication. My style was always very direct.
I am afraid of making a fool of myself as well, to be honest.
I think I would prefer personal conversations with women.
Trying to approach someone, either male or female, naturally, and getting to know them through conversation—that is what I like for friendship or romance.
This...I think since we never experienced any kind of genuine connection it's so easy to idealize it. We end up expecting friendship or love to finally fill that emptiness...but no connection can erase the past
do not blame it on your genetics, as much as looks matter i knew a guy that was in the military, incredibly short, fat, not cute overall. He was incredibly good with women, he was around 5'4, got a girl pregnant in high school and now messes with women in the military. There is no single best way to get a partner, but sharing hobbies and finding someone within your niche or interests might be the best way in doing so.
The exceptions prove the rule. And did he live in the era of swipe apps or sometime older when things were more sane? I don't mean to be rude it's just that things have changed enormously since dating apps became basically the only way to interact with women my age. Meet up groups are all men
Someone romantically loving me would take away the pain. That's the central focus. If a girl actually went out with me or even flirted with me I wouldn't be on this website or want to die before 28.
there's a really great green text thread that comes to mind when i hear this.
with a lot of things in life, the more you narrow your scope of happiness, the less likely that you are to get it.
people respond well to those who have an interest or passion in something. a lot of people become frightened or distressed when they are the only object of interest or value to another person -and this is actually a very healthy reaction to it.
if someone is your only source of joy and interest, it puts a lot of pressure for you to provide everything that they are projecting onto you. it's unsustainable.
easier said than done, but i would explore some interests, or cultivate a hobby. i've commented several times about gracefully accepting imperfection and the importance if practicing mercy on yourself when trying something new, and i know it's easier said than done.
BUT, if you really want love from another person, it's important to be able to demonstrate that you are capable of loving -even a hobby.
it will also give you something to talk about and share with someone, and they will be interested in opening up to you.
ive also posted about a buddy of mine who is (and i do feel a bit bad for saying it) an objectively ugly dude. he wears the fact that he looks like something out of a Bukowski description with pride, and it's never stopped him from finding love. people want to hang out with him because he is so warm, and they love hearing him go on and on about korean horror films and gardening.
sure, there are probably plenty of people who look the other way, but people who don't want you can't be made to, so he doesn't really care.
I think that it's not true that you just have accept everything in life. Sometimes things are going very badly and it's why CTB is always here (atleast for me)
there's a really great green text thread that comes to mind when i hear this.
with a lot of things in life, the more you narrow your scope of happiness, the less likely that you are to get it.
people respond well to those who have an interest or passion in something. a lot of people become frightened or distressed when they are the only object of interest or value to another person -and this is actually a very healthy reaction to it.
if someone is your only source of joy and interest, it puts a lot of pressure for you to provide everything that they are projecting onto you. it's unsustainable.
easier said than done, but i would explore some interests, or cultivate a hobby. i've commented several times about gracefully accepting imperfection and the importance if practicing mercy on yourself when trying something new, and i know it's easier said than done.
BUT, if you really want love from another person, it's important to be able to demonstrate that you are capable of loving -even a hobby.
it will also give you something to talk about and share with someone, and they will be interested in opening up to you.
ive also posted about a buddy of mine who is (and i do feel a bit bad for saying it) an objectively ugly dude. he wears the fact that he looks like something out of a Bukowski description with pride, and it's never stopped him from finding love. people want to hang out with him because he is so warm, and they love hearing him go on and on about korean horror films and gardening.
sure, there are probably plenty of people who look the other way, but people who don't want you can't be made to, so he doesn't really care.
I already have interests and hobbies and friends, and lift weights and swim regularly. It doesn't change the fact my face is ugly and I'm short and autistic, it cancels everything positive out. I mostly get along with normal people fine platonically. There's just no way to just talk with women my age (27) besides on meat grinder dating apps. I've been going to the same two used bookstores since I was a small child and I have never once had a conversation with anyone there. I tried meetups and never saw any women my age there. I'm now the same age as my parents when they has me. I'm thinking of moving out just because they won't let me drink and whiskey is more effective than pot and cheaper than Kratom. If I could just be drunk all the time I would be okay
The story in your greentext is nice, i don't think I have the guy's luck though
I know how you feel and i have it way worse. I am a 43 year KHHV and i barely manage the day to day. If you find a way to cope besides drugs please tell me.
I'm really sorry. I will. What helps me most (besides drugs) is channeling my negative energy into very dark and extreme creative projects. I don't know if that would help you, and it doesn't completely help me either, but it's made more of a difference than anything else I can think of. I'm stuck in a rut with art too though at the moment...
The exceptions prove the rule. And did he live in the era of swipe apps or sometime older when things were more sane? I don't mean to be rude it's just that things have changed enormously since dating apps became basically the only way to interact with women my age. Meet up groups are all men
Someone romantically loving me would take away the pain. That's the central focus. If a girl actually went out with me or even flirted with me I wouldn't be on this website or want to die before 28.
The sausage party cycle is so crazy imo. Unofficial gender segregation is so common where I live. Women don't really enter male spaces and vice-versa. You make friends with dudes, who are only friends with dudes, who are only friends with dudes, who are only...
there's a really great green text thread that comes to mind when i hear this.
with a lot of things in life, the more you narrow your scope of happiness, the less likely that you are to get it.
people respond well to those who have an interest or passion in something. a lot of people become frightened or distressed when they are the only object of interest or value to another person -and this is actually a very healthy reaction to it.
if someone is your only source of joy and interest, it puts a lot of pressure for you to provide everything that they are projecting onto you. it's unsustainable.
easier said than done, but i would explore some interests, or cultivate a hobby. i've commented several times about gracefully accepting imperfection and the importance if practicing mercy on yourself when trying something new, and i know it's easier said than done.
BUT, if you really want love from another person, it's important to be able to demonstrate that you are capable of loving -even a hobby.
it will also give you something to talk about and share with someone, and they will be interested in opening up to you.
ive also posted about a buddy of mine who is (and i do feel a bit bad for saying it) an objectively ugly dude. he wears the fact that he looks like something out of a Bukowski description with pride, and it's never stopped him from finding love. people want to hang out with him because he is so warm, and they love hearing him go on and on about korean horror films and gardening.
sure, there are probably plenty of people who look the other way, but people who don't want you can't be made to, so he doesn't really care.
A lesson I could have stood to learn a few years earlier tbh. You also have to contend with the fact that most people really don't love others all that much and adjust your expectations accordingly a lot of the time.
The sausage party cycle is so crazy imo. Unofficial gender segregation is so common where I live. Women don't really enter male spaces and vice-versa. You make friends with dudes, who are only friends with dudes, who are only friends with dudes, who are only...
A lesson I could have stood to learn a few years earlier tbh. You also have to contend with the fact that most people really don't love others all that much and adjust your expectations accordingly a lot of the time.
last part is sadly true. we might all be mentally fucked here, but most people are in others ways as well.
hard to find people emotionally mature enough to navigate relationships in a healthy way. you either have to be willing and able to learn and grow together, or you'll just keep bringing one another down
I thought that I wanted a girlfriend. But turns out I don't want a girlfriend hard enough to the point of getting my shit together and change my current circumstances.
So I just deal with the loneliness. No idea how to motivate myself to get a girlfriend when I just know that I have no stability to offer for women. No stable income.
I'm in the process of getting a job but I only just begun doing that so it's gonna take a bit of time to get accepted to a job and keep it long enough unlike all the other jobs I had in the past.
Social media taught/convinced me me that women don't like unemployed bums so as a result I don't have the motivation to ask women out.
I was told by my therapist that there are women out there that don't care about how much is your monthly salary. I however don't believe her. I have a hard time trusting alot of the things my therapist tells me about women.
She tells me that people in the internet talk shit and that they don't know jackshit about women. That "In real life you will see for yourself that women are different than what they are portrayed to be online".
It's just really hard for me take her words for it. She is in her early 60s. I don't think she knows how terminally online most people are.
In my opinion I reckon that there are barely any non-terninally online people that stay pure from the online gender wars.
I try not to participate in these "gender wars" but YouTube just keeps recommending me this "asmongold" guy and his cronies.
Kind of hard for me a lot of times to keep temptation at bay and not click on his videos when I'm bored.
I'm not subscribed to asmongold and his cronies but YouTube keeps shoving his face towards me everyday on my "for you" feed.
I think I got brainwashed by his views on women.
I watched him when I was a guillble teenager a few times. Eversince, YouTube believes I'm a full blown women hater and just keeps recommending me rage-bait content like "women this" "women that" "this X situation will radicalize a generation".
When I try to not use social medias I just feel like a drug addict on withdrawal symptoms.
No amount of audiobooks and walking outside match the dopamine I get from watching rage-bait content on YouTube.
The only advice i really have to give is that you ask yourself what do you desire from a relationship. Do you absolutely need to have a romantic/sexual relationship with someone to find meaning in life? What about platonic love from and to a friend? I can't promise these things will work for you necessarily, for me though i figured a long time ago that i'm so undesirable for anyone that i'll never be in a relationship but doing some introspection made me realize what i want is not necessarily a romantic/sexual relationship, but that i just want to be around people that matter to me and who i matter to.
Of course, there comes up my issue which is that nobody except my mom cares for me at all, and i dislike most people so god only knows what are my options if i have no one else in my life by the time my mom passes.
The exceptions prove the rule. And did he live in the era of swipe apps or sometime older when things were more sane? I don't mean to be rude it's just that things have changed enormously since dating apps became basically the only way to interact with women my age. Meet up groups are all men
Someone romantically loving me would take away the pain. That's the central focus. If a girl actually went out with me or even flirted with me I wouldn't be on this website or want to die before 28.
The only advice i really have to give is that you ask yourself what do you desire from a relationship. Do you absolutely need to have a romantic/sexual relationship with someone to find meaning in life? What about platonic love from and to a friend? I can't promise these things will work for you necessarily, for me though i figured a long time ago that i'm so undesirable for anyone that i'll never be in a relationship but doing some introspection made me realize what i want is not necessarily a romantic/sexual relationship, but that i just want to be around people that matter to me and who i matter to.
Of course, there comes up my issue which is that nobody except my mom cares for me at all, and i dislike most people so god only knows what are my options if i have no one else in my life by the time my mom passes.
Idk about op but it does weigh on me that I'm not special to anyone and probably never will be. I'll never fall asleep next to anyone and then wake up next to them every again. I'll never again have somebody I can share physical touch with, etc. Friendships just have different boundaries and different acceptable levels of intimacy than romantic connections.
I thought that I wanted a girlfriend. But turns out I don't want a girlfriend hard enough to the point of getting my shit together and change my current circumstances.
So I just deal with the loneliness. No idea how to motivate myself to get a girlfriend when I just know that I have no stability to offer for women. No stable income.
I'm in the process of getting a job but I only just begun doing that so it's gonna take a bit of time to get accepted to a job and keep it long enough unlike all the other jobs I had in the past.
Social media taught/convinced me me that women don't like unemployed bums so as a result I don't have the motivation to ask women out.
I was told by my therapist that there are women out there that don't care about how much is your monthly salary. I however don't believe her. I have a hard time trusting alot of the things my therapist tells me about women.
She tells me that people in the internet talk shit and that they don't know jackshit about women. That "In real life you will see for yourself that women are different than what they are portrayed to be online".
It's just really hard for me take her words for it. She is in her early 60s. I don't think she knows how terminally online most people are.
In my opinion I reckon that there are barely any non-terninally online people that stay pure from the online gender wars.
I try not to participate in these "gender wars" but YouTube just keeps recommending me this "asmongold" guy and his cronies.
Kind of hard for me a lot of times to keep temptation at bay and not click on his videos when I'm bored.
I'm not subscribed to asmongold and his cronies but YouTube keeps shoving his face towards me everyday on my "for you" feed.
I think I got brainwashed by his views on women.
I watched him when I was a guillble teenager a few times. Eversince, YouTube believes I'm a full blown women hater and just keeps recommending me rage-bait content like "women this" "women that" "this X situation will radicalize a generation".
When I try to not use social medias I just feel like a drug addict on withdrawal symptoms.
No amount of audiobooks and walking outside match the dopamine I get from watching rage-bait content on YouTube.
The idea that people are different IRL is turbo uber giga cope lol. The people on the Internet don't vanish into the ether the second they log off (ignoring the very real possibility they're bots), they walk among us fr. The shit I hear women say about men, even when they're their significant other irl is crazy, and vice-versa for what it's worth. Talking to friends about their relationships has been devastating tbqh. People really hate each other so bad.
Ancient monastery practice in the eastern world to cope with sexual lust is to focus purely/solely on the physical disgust. It works on guys, too, so don't get mad ladies, it's equal opportunity.
Imagine how bad the pussy smells (it gets fishy, slimy, it has natural odors, it bleeds for days, it is like a giant wet moist never-ending hole... pretty terrifying), imagine the mucus how it mixes with the blood and fluids, imagine how many viruses bacteria or diseases you can get from it. Imagine her shitting and having diarrhea. Imagine their bad breath in the morning. Imagine how much mouth and oral bacteria are on her tongue, tarter, cavities. Think of how many other people she's kissed and you are now introducing into your body.
Imagine her waking up moody, angry, for no reason. Imagine her lust for other people still even that she's with you. Imagine just the tension of a day to day relationship with somebody desirable. Imagine how many people would be trying to talk to her, get her number. Imagine that they want their end of the bargain too. They have "preferences" (this word would be used to reject a facet of you). They like to go out. A lot of times, they just don't care enough to stay or engage. Or they like to sit at home all day, not work, take Xanax and watch TV. They don't want "you" they want "us". Look up the divorce industry. See the numbers. Read the research papers on sexless marriages. Learn about how once he acquires her, his testosterone drops, he loses interest. He just wants more. Whether it's 1,000,000, 1,000 or 0, the drive just wants more.
Man that's way, way, way worse than a full time job.
What people want is the idea of what the romance represents. You matter now. You're important. You live an exciting life. You have status. Your physical needs are taken care of now (complete total lie). You have places to be. You're going to get sex, whoopdefuckindoo. You can have real male friends now. You're in the club. You defeated society. You're no longer an incel. You defeated all the research that shitlogs you and says you'll die alone, unwanted and in pain. You made it! You crossed over! Like a marathon runner breaking the banner.
^---- except, none of this is real. congrats, you just got fooled by evolution's most ancient trick. your existential suffering was twisted into the desire to literally have sex and make a duplicate of yourself so life can ... continue.
It really helps a lot to see the illusion behind the desire. You can even see it so strongly that you realize the partnered people have it considerably, considerably worse then singles.
I thought that I wanted a girlfriend. But turns out I don't want a girlfriend hard enough to the point of getting my shit together and change my current circumstances.
So I just deal with the loneliness. No idea how to motivate myself to get a girlfriend when I just know that I have no stability to offer for women. No stable income.
I'm in the process of getting a job but I only just begun doing that so it's gonna take a bit of time to get accepted to a job and keep it long enough unlike all the other jobs I had in the past.
Social media taught/convinced me me that women don't like unemployed bums so as a result I don't have the motivation to ask women out.
I was told by my therapist that there are women out there that don't care about how much is your monthly salary. I however don't believe her. I have a hard time trusting alot of the things my therapist tells me about women.
She tells me that people in the internet talk shit and that they don't know jackshit about women. That "In real life you will see for yourself that women are different than what they are portrayed to be online".
It's just really hard for me take her words for it. She is in her early 60s. I don't think she knows how terminally online most people are.
In my opinion I reckon that there are barely any non-terninally online people that stay pure from the online gender wars.
I try not to participate in these "gender wars" but YouTube just keeps recommending me this "asmongold" guy and his cronies.
Kind of hard for me a lot of times to keep temptation at bay and not click on his videos when I'm bored.
I'm not subscribed to asmongold and his cronies but YouTube keeps shoving his face towards me everyday on my "for you" feed.
I think I got brainwashed by his views on women.
I watched him when I was a guillble teenager a few times. Eversince, YouTube believes I'm a full blown women hater and just keeps recommending me rage-bait content like "women this" "women that" "this X situation will radicalize a generation".
When I try to not use social medias I just feel like a drug addict on withdrawal symptoms.
No amount of audiobooks and walking outside match the dopamine I get from watching rage-bait content on YouTube.
Oh yea I think your 60s female therapist definitely has no clue how toxic, destructive, addictive and nihilistic the 30s/20s/teens generation is. 100%. But I think she's also right too. There are like a few environments where people actually still get together. You can name the areas in your geographic region on one hand. But they exist. They work like they did before the digital nihilism entrapped an entire civilization. The major life work is to detox from the most addictive dehumanizing corporations on Earth so you can actually be well enough to drive somewhere and tolerate a group. It's a high, high bar these days, I've found. I get suicidal because it's like I haven't been able to reach that bar for almost 2 years now. But responding to your message is giving me hope again, because I know these places exist. You will never see them, find them or be able to tolerate them if Mark Fuckerberg and sundar pichai are in your day to day life. That stuff is way over engineered to anything an individual can ever resist.
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