the_path_of_sorrows
Different routes, same destination
- Nov 26, 2023
- 119
Vomiting is one of my worst fears. I'd rather drown or jump off a building than die after ingesting SN, that's my least preferred method not without a reason. My chosen method is full suspension. Feeling so shitty for quite some time, being conscious and feeling fully your body shutting down just sounds way worse than being suffocated or the belt directly on the trachea until the long awaited brain death.
Ever since I learned about SN and just knowing how deadly it is even when consumed in tiny amounts, I've been terrified that anything I touch has been contaminated with that goddamn poison. I would prefer to ctb whenever I want, not like this, never, thanks. I don't even trust eating food that is more salty than I would prefer. I've got to deal with terrible germophobia in the past but this shit is just annoying to the core. Logically, I know that it's almost impossible to ingest SN anytime cos of course it won't be on the surfaces all around us or else we would be dropping dead like flies. This fear is more illogical than anything I've ever experienced. This method of dying sounds so awful I'd rather jump into the traffic. The deaths of people from our community at times haunt me along with this. Health anxiety is just driving me nuts. I always respect those of us that have got just enough courage to drink the forbidden salt. This by no means sounds like the most conscious way to die.
Ever since I learned about SN and just knowing how deadly it is even when consumed in tiny amounts, I've been terrified that anything I touch has been contaminated with that goddamn poison. I would prefer to ctb whenever I want, not like this, never, thanks. I don't even trust eating food that is more salty than I would prefer. I've got to deal with terrible germophobia in the past but this shit is just annoying to the core. Logically, I know that it's almost impossible to ingest SN anytime cos of course it won't be on the surfaces all around us or else we would be dropping dead like flies. This fear is more illogical than anything I've ever experienced. This method of dying sounds so awful I'd rather jump into the traffic. The deaths of people from our community at times haunt me along with this. Health anxiety is just driving me nuts. I always respect those of us that have got just enough courage to drink the forbidden salt. This by no means sounds like the most conscious way to die.
