Discussion How old were you when you started considering ctb?

[Sad Avocado]

Personally I first started considering it at 17 years old, now I'm almost 19.

 

[bp74777]

Honestly, since elementary school age. It gets worse every year that goes by.

 

[Zebulon]

For me around 18-19. I'm 29 now and it only gets worse. Life sucks all energy out of you over time. I had a functioning helium setup, back in the day. I gave it away as a sign of good will. Now I dont have the mental capacity and energy to build it again.

 

[Darkover]

18 years old after a relationship breakup it destroyed my world i know i'd never get sex again now 37 i can honestly say i'd of been better off dead than alive since turning 18

 

[sadlyexisting]

I was considering it once I got into middle school, so I guess 9 or 10. My first real attempt I had with 13, and even though I did lots of research for that attempt already, I still failed. I think that the rope got loose, and I woke up laying In my wardrobe. (My support was the metal bar in the wardrobe) Since then I didn't attempt again, since I am scared of failing. But the way I view life and existence didn't change at all in the past 7 years.

 

[020x]

After elementary school I was depressed till I finished school. The whole time I didn't want to exist and people always wondered why I didn't had motivation to do anything.

 

[mochiie]

I was in middle school whenever I started having those thoughts. Now it's something I feel like I'm going to have in my head for as long as I remain.

 

[caraphernelia]

I think around 13 ish when I first started high school, but I didn't attempt till I was around 15

 

[jonghyun]

15-16

 

[Ambivalent1]

14 when I heard a relative had just done it. I never knew I could end my pain just like that. I thought I had to endure for a lifetime like most people

 

[TheGoodGuy]

14 it came with the teenage hormones before then life was heaven on earth

 

[pinkribbonscars]

When my father passed away when I was ten, I remember having fantasies of falling asleep forever so I could visit him in heaven, but I didn't want to die.

I first experienced suicidal ideation at 13, but I was too hopeful to act on it. I did make some gestures as a cry for help a few times from the ages of 14-19 however.

I started considering suicide more seriously in my late teens, but I made myself wait until age 25. The suicidal thoughts died down at 24, but came back at 27. I aborted an attempt, then the depression spontaneously resolved without treatment. Two years later and I've been experiencing suicidal ideation for 4 1/2 months now.

Lol

 

[Forever Sleep]

10- I think your poll could do with starting younger if still possible. There are plenty of people here who have had ideation since early childhood.

 

[Sad Avocado]

10- I think your poll could do with starting younger if still possible. There are plenty of people here who have had ideation since early childhood.

This really hurts to see :( I just added a younger option on the poll.

15-16

Hey it has been a while since I've heard from you, how are you doing?

14 it came with the teenage hormones before then life was heaven on earth

I miss too the illusion of the young years when you thought that life is great and the world is a good place to live in.

 

[death's lover]

Ever since I was 14...

 

[Pistolo123]

For me It started when I was around 11-12 yo. From there its bene mostly up and down, but mostly downs

 

[アホペンギン]

I have been considering since I was 8 years old. It has only been getting worse. It has been a decade, no change for the better.

 

[FuneralCry]

I know that I've never wished to exist, at least I have no memories of it and I've always, only found comfort in death which lead to me thinking of suicide once I got older and became aware of what suicide was, as suicide is the way to find true peace from this existence. Only the eternity of non-existence is desirable to me.

 

[guinea-pig]

For me it was like something big switched at 12 and then I was never the same

 

[fakeimportance]

OK so the first time I really actually considered doing it, beyond just depressive thoughts with no intent at all, was 15.

I can't remember exactly the first time I thought dying would be nice in theory, or the first time I questioned living, but I would've been 10-12 most likely. Having autism / ADHD and anxiety as a result of it early on in life, plus a toxic parent who later became abusive, it didn't take long before I started questioning things.

 

[timetodie24]

first thoughts around 12 but didn't attempt till 20

 

[ayaneechan]

For me it was between 18 and 19, i voted 19

 

[SamTam33]

I was 7, but that age isn't represented on the poll. The very day I heard about suicide on the news, I tried it. And I have never stopped trying. And I will never stop trying. I will succeed at it if it's the last thing I do.

It will be the last thing I do.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I miss too the illusion of the young years when you thought that life is great and the world is a good place to live in.

Ignorance is truly bliss the more you know the duller the world gets I miss back when I was naïve happy boy the world was so magical and exciting.

 

[Sad Avocado]

I have been considering since I was 8 years old. It has only been getting worse. It has been a decade, no change for the better.

For me it was like something big switched at 12 and then I was never the same

OK so the first time I really actually considered doing it, beyond just depressive thoughts with no intent at all, was 15.

I can't remember exactly the first time I thought dying would be nice in theory, or the first time I questioned living, but I would've been 10-12 most likely. Having autism / ADHD and anxiety as a result of it early on in life, plus a toxic parent who later became abusive, it didn't take long before I started questioning things.

first thoughts around 12 but didn't attempt till 20

For me it was between 18 and 19, i voted 19

I was 7, but that age isn't represented on the poll. The very day I heard about suicide on the news, I tried it. And I have never stopped trying. And I will never stop trying. I will succeed at it if it's the last thing I do.

It will be the last thing I do.

Reading all these replies comforts me and makes me really sad at the same time. From one side I am reliefed that I found many people as me but on the other hand it makes me really sad to see how many people don't want to exist already this young :(

 

[SleepyRobloxGrl]

Honestly, since elementary school age. It gets worse every year that goes by

same it just gets more and more unbearable every year

 

[HeartThatFeeds]

I first attempted at ten years old :(

 

[noleftovers]

First attempt was when I was 12/13, but I've been depressed since around 6, so the thoughts had been going on for some time.

 

[a333]

I was too young to recall properly but it would have been late primary school. a lot of people around me started to SH and so did i. people around me used to have vent accounts where they posted their SH results and it really kinda fucked my head from there and I saw it as a way to cope. I no longer SH but know if I am doing something now I'd want it to be lethal. my negative living situation and relationship with my parents really played a huge factor in the feeling that I just wanted to disappear. and whenever I tried to communicate I was struggling at such a young age my parents specifically would blame it on the "devil" and passing off what was really happening resulting in me not getting the right support. this only got worse going into high school

 

[KuroiSH]

First time I thought about the possibility of death, I was ~around 9 years old. My first attempt was at 14, and since that failed, I'm unfortunately still bound by the chains of reality.