F
fjohn5
New Member
- Aug 10, 2023
- 1
I love my family. They've been very kind and supportive of me. I'm surrounded by so much support and love.
But I'm not worth much. I've not done well academically or professionally. It's clear to me that I'll be laboring for cheap the rest of my life. I want to escape before things become too miserable.
I feel bad abandoning my family knowing they did everything right. They had resources available to me. They saved up so I'd have the option to succeed in college. They've covered my medical expenses when I ended up in the psych ward.
At this point I know I'll die by suicide. It's a questions of when. I'm living with my parents unemployed -- every day I lie to them about how I'm applying to jobs.
They're so kind they don't deserve me. But I have no way to make it up to them. I just want to reduce their misery. Every day I wonder if it would be better to hide my corpse so they never know for sure. Even just overdosing on fentanyl provides them with an easier out than a suicide.
Anyway, this is my first post on here and I'd be happy to chat with any other suicidal people about their experiences.
But I'm not worth much. I've not done well academically or professionally. It's clear to me that I'll be laboring for cheap the rest of my life. I want to escape before things become too miserable.
I feel bad abandoning my family knowing they did everything right. They had resources available to me. They saved up so I'd have the option to succeed in college. They've covered my medical expenses when I ended up in the psych ward.
At this point I know I'll die by suicide. It's a questions of when. I'm living with my parents unemployed -- every day I lie to them about how I'm applying to jobs.
They're so kind they don't deserve me. But I have no way to make it up to them. I just want to reduce their misery. Every day I wonder if it would be better to hide my corpse so they never know for sure. Even just overdosing on fentanyl provides them with an easier out than a suicide.
Anyway, this is my first post on here and I'd be happy to chat with any other suicidal people about their experiences.