Venting how much longer do i have to keep suffering like this?

[degreesoflewdity]

I don't want to be clean from self harm anymore. I want to keep doing it. I stopped only because I had something to look forward, but not anymore. there's no reason for me to stop doing it. I have to, they are telling me to. I've never felt them tell me so much louder, so matter how loud the music is, I cannot drown them out. no matter how tight I close my eyes, I can't unsee them. how much longer until they leave me alone?

 

[The Burning Fool]

I've learned that hearing them won't become any better or worse no matter if I do or don't act according to the things they say. The means of communication are imprinted in my brain so nothing I can do to satisfy the voices except to stop (that part of) the brain from functioning in some way.

 

[Passersby]

I ask myself this everyday.