a.n.kirillov
velle non discitur
- Nov 17, 2019
- 1,831
Not at all, at least I'm trying not to, because I would also like to be coping as well as them and because I know my own self deception, or at least catch glimpses of it often enough.
By your definition i would be pretty "normal" myself.
I love that you made this thread even though I´m a bit late to the party.Normal, healthy, functioning people. On a scale of 1 -10, I think I might be approaching a 5.
They're just really starting to piss me off. These fuckers truly take for granted "ordinary" abilities that many of us struggle with on a constant basis. Speech, motor function, basic arithmetic, reasoning, even reading! God, I'm having problems with all of these! What the fuck is wrong with my mind!?!
It's so hard to keep up with them. And some of them can be so insensitive and just lack understanding; understanding how fucking good they have it. And it's even worse when some of them rub it in, like "Why are you doing THAT?!? Why aren't you doing it like THIS?" I dunno, cuz I'm a demented, suicidal fucktard and can't think properly. Congratulations, you're better than me! Have a fucking cookie!" Pricks.
God, these bastards are practically invincible! They can stay up all night, deprive themselves of as much sleep, do any fucking drugs they want, get themselves in any wacky, orgasmic shenanigans and...just drink a redbull the nèxt day and they're honky dory! Motherfuckers. They just "recover." I, on the other hand, go through a mildly, confidence-shaking event and find myself slowly spiraling into a motherfucking depression with no way to circumvent it. No fucking meditation, no "chakra balancing," no healing frequency, no exercise, no hypnosis, no talk therapy, no alternative medicine, no medication that used to work in the past and no new medication were able prevent me spiralling into this shit I'm in now. Fuck! I was even able to witness my gradual months-long decline and there was no way to prevent it. I hate this fucking life.
These bastards truly don't know how good they have it. How blessed they are. And I...don't even know if I should be mad at them. Do I want the whole world to slow down for my slow ass? That would be selfish, wouldn't it? I couldn't ask that of everyone. To compromise so so much. Whatever, this is "their" world as I no longer wish to be part of it (or at least pretend that I could). I suppose I am the "weakest link" and just need to GTFO. Don't wanna be here anyway.
Can't wait till I'm outta this bitch!