how much can I tell my therapist?

[InezSerrano]

I told him I have SN, no reports.
I want to tell him I got as far as measuring it out today when I see him tomorrow, but I worry he will make a report.
I wasn't even that suicidal, someone just told me to kill myself, and I told them I could if they really wanted me to, and they kept telling me to, and I don't really care about being alive so I was going to do it to make me happy but then I realized it was dumb. Anyways, can I tell him? It's part of a larger issue of being willing to do very extreme things to make people like me.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

I cannot answer your question, but I hope you feel better when I tell you the person who told you to kill yourself was an asshole. Pay them no heed.

 

[doesntmatter_94]

I wouldn't tell them. My therapist knew I was planning an attempt so she was always reminding me about not crossing the line. As she said the other day, "there is a legal reason why I don't know the details."

 

[Suicidebydeath]

I don't know where you're from but I was asked several times last night whether I was suicidal and I said "no" several times. Also unsubtly blinking/winking and then covering it up by being anxious and putting my face in my hands and rubbing my eyes.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

...

Killing yourself because somebody else told you to, not wanting to ctb, but wanting to because you do things to make people like you? I'm sorry this doesn't make sense to me.

It does to me. Just because it's different to the way some might think doesn't mean I can't empathise enough to see how someone might feel that way. Trauma does all kinds of stuff to people.

It makes so much sense to me that they might even suffer from some of the same things tbh.

OP sorry if you feel invalidated.

 

[GentleJerk]

It does to me. Just because it's different to the way some might think doesn't mean I can't empathise enough to see how someone might feel that way. Trauma does all kinds of stuff to people.

It makes so much sense to me that they might even suffer from some of the same things tbh.

OP sorry if you feel invalidated.

If OP is serious then I apologize, I don't mean to invalidate anybody. I guess I'm just more skeptical than usual with some of the funny business around here as of late.

My advice is weigh up the pro's and con's of how much you open up to your mental health care professional. They are bound by a legal duty of care to take some pretty drastic measures if they have good reason to believe you are a threat to yourself or others. If you don't mind the possibility of things being escalated, maybe even having authorities involved and sanctioning you against your will, then it's ok to tell him.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Thanks for that.

Whenever someone feels skeptical just step back and think how they'd feel about the comment they were about to make if they were the OP instead and someone else is making that comment to them.

 

[LingeringUnreal]

If this is real (which I doubt personally, but I've seen similar psychotic episodes so I'm not discouraging outright) - if you are in the US, do not tell therapists about specific planned dates and methods generally speaking. The reason is because they are legally obligated to report you, and have you taken into protective custody, which can result in an expensive and shitty mental hospital stay.

 

[GentleJerk]

Good point, I'll keep that in mind. Of course they deserve to be able to speak freely.

I would just hate for well-meaning members of the forum to fall for a ruse and give too much advice to someone who is possibly not being completely honest, or has alterior motives for collecting certain comments and suggestions... Hopefully that's not the case.

 

[InezSerrano]

I wouldn't tell them. My therapist knew I was planning an attempt so she was always reminding me about not crossing the line. As she said the other day, "there is a legal reason why I don't know the details."

I was also thinking about SWIMing (someone who is not me).

...

Killing yourself because somebody else told you to, not wanting to ctb, but wanting to because you do things to make people like you? I'm sorry this doesn't make sense to me.

Well I normally want to die to stop feeling anxious all the time. This time it was just for a meme. IDK.

If this is real (which I doubt personally, but I've seen similar psychotic episodes so I'm not discouraging outright) - if you are in the US, do not tell therapists about specific planned dates and methods generally speaking. The reason is because they are legally obligated to report you, and have you taken into protective custody, which can result in an expensive and shitty mental hospital stay.

I have no plan to kill myself right now. I have SN, but no plan to take it. I'm not sure if I told my therapist I have SN or just that I considered buying it. I can't remember. They told me knowing methods was okay but planning on doing it wasn't okay. (Some people jump off buildings versus I'm writing a suicide note and will go jump of a building once I'm done this Friday). Also if you think it's fake I can send you proof. (Chat logs of me talking to the person who told me to suicide, pictures of my SN).

 

[Suicidebydeath]

I think its safe to assume that not all therapists are the same. So revealing SN may or not lead to a report. The safest thing is not to express you're suicidal but might be far from the best thing, so can't say for certain. The best thing besides that is to tell them honestly all of the things you already said.

It's best to err on the side of caution, and by that I mean, assume the OP is legit. There are plenty of other places to get comments and suggestions from the forum without even having to make an OP.

Pretty sure the people I saw today thought I might be SWIMing with some of the stuff I said and the questions they asked and don't think my answers helped lol, but I was actually talking about another.
Q. Are they exactly like you?
A. Yes
lol. I'd guess SWIMing is fairly safe though, but I can't say for certain. You just need plausible deniability.

My friend has SN too, I wished they felt the same as you :(

 

[InezSerrano]

Good point, I'll keep that in mind. Of course they deserve to be able to speak freely.

I would just hate for well-meaning members of the forum to fall for a ruse and give too much advice to someone who is possibly not being completely honest, or has alterior motives for collecting certain comments and suggestions... Hopefully that's not the case.

Why do you think I'm lying?

I think its safe to assume that not all therapists are the same. So revealing SN may or not lead to a report. The safest thing is not to express you're suicidal but might be far from the best. The best thing besides that is to tell them honestly all of the things you already said.

It's best to err on the side of caution, and by that I mean, assume the OP is legit. There are plenty of other places to get comments and suggestions from the forum without even having to make an OP.

Pretty sure the people I saw today thought I might be SWIMing with some of the stuff I said and the questions they asked and don't think my answers helped lol, but I was actually talking about another.
Q. Are they exactly like you?
A. Yes
lol. I'd guess SWIMing is fairly safe though, but I can't say for certain. You just need plausible deniability.

My friend has SN too, I wished they felt the same as you :(

I think SWIMing is very safe. I've done it for sexual abuse and they didn't report it. Told another person without SWIMing and they did report it (I was fine with them making a report so I didn't SWIM). This is just one anecdote, however. I live in California, for reference.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Why do you think I'm lying?

I think SWIMing is very safe. I've done it for sexual abuse and they didn't report it. Told another person without SWIMing and they did report it (I was fine with them making a report so I didn't SWIM). This is just one anecdote, however. I live in California, for reference.

Try not to take those comments personally. Contact a mod if you have reservations about a comment. Just this sort of thing spirals out of hand quickly if two or more people can't see eye-to-eye.

I can act as an intermediary this one time but essentially. Everyone is on edge lately, it boils down to.

 

[GentleJerk]

Why do you think I'm lying?

I'm simply unsure, and concerned about the forums sincere members.. You don't need to prove anything. Apologies, I'll delete the comment.

 

[InezSerrano]

here are a bit of proofs for you (not yet the 24th in Cali).
Here are the logs, order may be weird.

here is a video i took at the time, i measured out more than I wanted (50g).

But this is not at all the point of the thread, the idea that I'm trolling or something tho feels bad. But no, it definitely wasn't a real suicide attempt either, lole.

 

[littlelungs]

Just to answer your original question, OP, you ultimately "can" tell a therapist whatever you want, really, but that doesn't mean that certain things won't result in a report or something. Whenever I started with a new therapist or talked to a mental health professional on the phone (for the purpose of intake interviews, for example), one of the first things I was told (as an adult patient) was that everything was confidential, UNLESS they were subpoenaed by the courts or I was in immediate danger of harming myself or others. This was in Canada, for what it's worth. Some therapists are quicker to report patients than others; I think a lot of it depends on the context and how the suicidal ideation is expressed by the patient, and whether or not they have a specific plan that they intend to carry out in the near future. I've personally talked plenty about being suicidal with therapists in the past, but I talked about me killing myself as more of an inevitability in the future and not something that I was going to do within a few days, and I was never reported for it.

As far as I understand (and please correct me if I've misunderstood), before this asshole took out their asshole-ishness out on you, you weren't actually suicidal per say (and I really feel for you about generally just wanting to escape the anxiety; anxiety is horrible), but it mainly comes down to this other asshole person being a dick to you about it, right? Is there anything that would make you reconsider? Are you able to block or otherwise cut off contact with this person? I'm pro-choice through and through (operative word here: CHOICE) but if this isn't truly YOUR choice and something you actually want and have really thought through, and your current situation largely goes back to some prick on Discord (and again, please correct me if I'm wrong, and I definitely do not want to invalidate your feelings at all – they're being awful to you), then I don't have a good feeling about it at all. I know I'm just a random person on the internet but I'm just... concerned, you know?

I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this. Life is hard and people can be so fucking awful. My heart truly goes out to you.

 

[LingeringUnreal]

I apologize for assuming you might've been faking, that's a really shitty situation to be in. I'd definitely still be careful with therapist just to avoid them possibly reporting you, but I think it's okay to tell them the context and why it made you feel that way. I really hope you're able to get help and possibly sever with this person who is being a real asshole, definitely doesn't seem like the kinda shit you need in your life. :(

 

[InezSerrano]

Just to answer your original question, OP, you ultimately "can" tell a therapist whatever you want, really, but that doesn't mean that certain things won't result in a report or something. Whenever I started with a new therapist or talked to a mental health professional on the phone (for the purpose of intake interviews, for example), one of the first things I was told (as an adult patient) was that everything was confidential, UNLESS they were subpoenaed by the courts or I was in immediate danger of harming myself or others. This was in Canada, for what it's worth. Some therapists are quicker to report patients than others; I think a lot of it depends on the context and how the suicidal ideation is expressed by the patient, and whether or not they have a specific plan that they intend to carry out in the near future. I've personally talked plenty about being suicidal with therapists in the past, but I talked about me killing myself as more of an inevitability in the future and not something that I was going to do within a few days, and I was never reported for it.

As far as I understand (and please correct me if I've misunderstood), before this asshole took out their asshole-ishness out on you, you weren't actually suicidal per say (and I really feel for you about generally just wanting to escape the anxiety; anxiety is horrible), but it mainly comes down to this other asshole person being a dick to you about it, right? Is there anything that would make you reconsider? Are you able to block or otherwise cut off contact with this person? I'm pro-choice through and through (operative word here: CHOICE) but if this isn't truly YOUR choice and something you actually want and have really thought through, and your current situation largely goes back to some prick on Discord (and again, please correct me if I'm wrong, and I definitely do not want to invalidate your feelings at all – they're being awful to you), then I don't have a good feeling about it at all. I know I'm just a random person on the internet but I'm just... concerned, you know?

I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this. Life is hard and people can be so fucking awful. My heart truly goes out to you.

I mean many people tell me if I ctb because someone told me to, I'm suicidal and just using them as an excuse. But yes, I shouldn't have even thought about measuring about SN if they didn't tell me to kill myself.

I apologize for assuming you might've been faking, that's a really shitty situation to be in. I'd definitely still be careful with therapist just to avoid them possibly reporting you, but I think it's okay to tell them the context and why it made you feel that way. I really hope you're able to get help and possibly sever with this person who is being a real asshole, definitely doesn't seem like the kinda shit you need in your life. :(

Yes. I'm going to talk about it in the context of being easy to influence/willing to do almost anything for attention and validation. I may be nonspecific or SWIM.

 

[Someone123]

I told him I have SN, no reports.
I want to tell him I got as far as measuring it out today when I see him tomorrow, but I worry he will make a report.
I wasn't even that suicidal, someone just told me to kill myself, and I told them I could if they really wanted me to, and they kept telling me to, and I don't really care about being alive so I was going to do it to make me happy but then I realized it was dumb. Anyways, can I tell him? It's part of a larger issue of being willing to do very extreme things to make people like me.

Definitely you should tell the therapist. Like you said, you don't want to ctb and someone is pushng you into this- some people do try to drive others to suicide, In your case, since you say you don't want to do this and someone else is pushing you to I would advise throwing out the sn and telling your therapist what is happening. YOu also need to work on finding a larger network of people who are supportive to you- maybe through some volunteering, possibly with animals, or maybe through a church- there is increased chance to find nice people in these situations, especially through volunteering in my opinion. Please do not let someone else drive you to suicide, I knew someone this happened to.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

I mean many people tell me if I ctb because someone told me to, I'm suicidal and just using them as an excuse.

You may need better friends or if those people aren't friends then they could be more sympathetic. If they are friends well don't rely on them too much, probably I'm being too judgemental of them so you don't have to take what I said to heart either.

Try to get some advice on how to deal with such people, as well with the ones actually telling you to kill yourself. For those, the ones telling you to ctb, I would say just blocking them and pretending they don't exist is the best thing you can do.

 

[InezSerrano]

You may need better friends or if those people aren't friends then they could be more sympathetic. If they are friends well don't rely on them too much, probably I'm being too judgemental of them so you don't have to take what I said to heart either.

Try to get some advice on how to deal with such people, as well with the ones actually telling you to kill yourself. For those, the ones telling you to ctb, I would say just blocking them and pretending they don't exist is the best thing you can do.

They aren't friends. Just bored and trying to pretend I have any social connections.

Definitely you should tell the therapist. Like you said, you don't want to ctb and someone is pushng you into this- some people do try to drive others to suicide, In your case, since you say you don't want to do this and someone else is pushing you to I would advise throwing out the sn and telling your therapist what is happening. YOu also need to work on finding a larger network of people who are supportive to you- maybe through some volunteering, possibly with animals, or maybe through a church- there is increased chance to find nice people in these situations, especially through volunteering in my opinion. Please do not let someone else drive you to suicide, I knew someone this happened to.

Volunteering is nice, but my anxiety is too high. I can barely go to the store to get groceries.

I agree I need some actual social connection. I have my mom and then "friends" who maybe call me a couple times a year.

Again, people tell me it's my fault I almost ctb because a troll told me to suicide. I sort of agree. A normal person wouldn't do this. It's my fault for interacting with others while mentally ill.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

I told him I have SN, no reports.

I'm amazed at this. If you don't want to get forcefully taken to the hospital I advise you never tell your therapist if/when you have a date set. They will call the authorities on you.

 

[Someone123]

They aren't friends. Just bored and trying to pretend I have any social connections.

Volunteering is nice, but my anxiety is too high. I can barely go to the store to get groceries.

I agree I need some actual social connection. I have my mom and then "friends" who maybe call me a couple times a year.

Again, people tell me it's my fault I almost ctb because a troll told me to suicide. I sort of agree. A normal person wouldn't do this. It's my fault for interacting with others while mentally ill.

You do need more positive social connections, people need positive social interactions daily to be healthy, but of course it can take a while to build up to this. Try to think of ways you can reach out to people who may be nice to you.

 

[InezSerrano]

I'm amazed at this. If you don't want to get forcefully taken to the hospital I advise you never tell your therapist if/when you have a date set. They will call the authorities on you.

Yes, he said considering methods was okay, an actual set plan and taking steps towards it wasn't. It is also possible I told him I was thinking about buying SN but didn't tell him I did. I cannot recall.

You do need more positive social connections, people need positive social interactions daily to be healthy, but of course it can take a while to build up to this. Try to think of ways you can reach out to people who may be nice to you.

Yeah, it's really hard. I don't know what to do.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

I sort of agree. A normal person wouldn't do this. It's my fault for interacting with others while mentally ill.

You are too hard on yourself, which is relatable. It seems really, really difficult to get diagnosed sometimes. I don't know what you have but I'd suggest getting help. For your sake I think interacting only with people you trust is important, and probably with 2+ people at a time, one of each gender preferably so you get used to it.

 

[Someone123]

Yes, he said considering methods was okay, an actual set plan and taking steps towards it wasn't. It is also possible I told him I was thinking about buying SN but didn't tell him I did. I cannot recall.

Yeah, it's really hard. I don't know what to do.

I know what you mean, I was extremely shy when I was younger- into my twenties. There is a book called "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie that has some useful ideas for how to communicate with people- these ideas can work well with people who have generally good intentions and who are open to getting to know you in a positive way. In grade school and high school they were a lot of mean people in my school who often pretended to be nice- for these types of people these ideas won't work. Still this bok has some excellent ideas, and from what I remember this first few chapters were the best.

Luckily there is youtube. I would search on youtube by "how to introduce yourself", "how to overcome shyness", "how to make friend", etc., etc. I am sure there are some helpful videos here.

At the library there may be other books that could help as well.

 

[Someone123]

They aren't friends. Just bored and trying to pretend I have any social connections.

Volunteering is nice, but my anxiety is too high. I can barely go to the store to get groceries.

I agree I need some actual social connection. I have my mom and then "friends" who maybe call me a couple times a year.

Again, people tell me it's my fault I almost ctb because a troll told me to suicide. I sort of agree. A normal person wouldn't do this. It's my fault for interacting with others while mentally ill.

Truthfully, the most likely way out of this dpression is interacting with people who tret you positively. It could be a cashier at stores, who are typically nice to everyone. It could be someone who cuts your hair- these are situations where you can practice conversations and get better at connecting with people, since people in these positions are typically nice. There are numerous videos on youtube about "overcoming shyness and social anxiety"- some from therapists, and some from people who have done this. It would be very helpful to review these to help you- as many as you can, I would think. Then some day when you are ready volunteering to help animals would be a very good thing- they won't judge you like people, and people who volunteer here are typically caring people. There are a very large number of videos on these topcis on youtube- just look for a title and a person who seems most relatable to you and see what you can learn from them. I swear that social anxiety is a solvable problem.

 

[InezSerrano]

You are too hard on yourself, which is relatable. It seems really, really difficult to get diagnosed sometimes. I don't know what you have but I'd suggest getting help. For your sake I think interacting only with people you trust is important, and probably with 2+ people at a time, one of each gender preferably so you get used to it.

I worry I will pick the wrong people. I have poor judgement, isolated mentally ill people are easy to manipulate and abuse, at least I am. Interesting advice about the gender thing.

I know what you mean, I was extremely shy when I was younger- into my twenties. There is a book called "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie that has some useful ideas for how to communicate with people- these ideas can work well with people who have generally good intentions and who are open to getting to know you in a positive way. In grade school and high school they were a lot of mean people in my school who often pretended to be nice- for these types of people these ideas won't work. Still this bok has some excellent ideas, and from what I remember this first few chapters were the best.

Luckily there is youtube. I would search on youtube by "how to introduce yourself", "how to overcome shyness", "how to make friend", etc., etc. I am sure there are some helpful videos here.

At the library there may be other books that could help as well.

I have read that book. When I am not too anxious, I am good at making friends. I am often too anxious or paranoid, though. And of course if you have visible signs, acting mentally ill, etc, people don't like that. I just to have many friends before my mental illness became much worse.

Truthfully, the most likely way out of this dpression is interacting with people who tret you positively. It could be a cashier at stores, who are typically nice to everyone. It could be someone who cuts your hair- these are situations where you can practice conversations and get better at connecting with people, since people in these positions are typically nice. There are numerous videos on youtube about "overcoming shyness and social anxiety"- some from therapists, and some from people who have done this. It would be very helpful to review these to help you- as many as you can, I would think. Then some day when you are ready volunteering to help animals would be a very good thing- they won't judge you like people, and people who volunteer here are typically caring people. There are a very large number of videos on these topcis on youtube- just look for a title and a person who seems most relatable to you and see what you can learn from them. I swear that social anxiety is a solvable problem.

Thank you, I may work on taking small steps to slowly become comfortable, but I worry it will be too little too late.

 

[Someone123]

I worry I will pick the wrong people. I have poor judgement, isolated mentally ill people are easy to manipulate and abuse, at least I am. Interesting advice about the gender thing.

I have read that book. When I am not too anxious, I am good at making friends. I am often too anxious or paranoid, though. And of course if you have visible signs, acting mentally ill, etc, people don't like that. I just to have many friends before my mental illness became much worse.


Thank you, I may work on taking small steps to slowly become comfortable, but I worry it will be too little too late.

You're young enough that I thi8nk you have a chance to turn it around- trying smaller steps can help. I would highly recommend stratnig to watch at least a few videos every day o0n youtube on overcoming social anxiety- a variety of perspectives could really help over time.

 

[InezSerrano]

You're young enough that I thi8nk you have a chance to turn it around- trying smaller steps can help. I would highly recommend stratnig to watch at least a few videos every day o0n youtube on overcoming social anxiety- a variety of perspectives could really help over time.

Hmm, maybe.