Discussion How many times have you tried to kill yourself?

[Ratherbeskinny]

I'm not sure if I used the right prefix, but please bare with me as this is my first post here.

How many times did you try to kill yourself?

I've "tried" it a lot of times by cutting my wrists or swallowing a bunch of pills, but I don't count all of them as serious attempts. I think I had like 4 or so serious attempts which got me in the hospital and/or inpatient.

 

[notjustyetagain]

sorry to hear you wound up in hospital those times. never fun. i've had two. took two coal burners into a walk-in robe; something went wrong after i passed out. wound up needing a few skin grafts and was rather lucky not to burn the house down. other was jumping in front of a car speeding over a hill at night. that didn't end well either, not least for the poor driver -- he was only 18. i was dissociated at the time but he didn't have that luxury.

 

[WhiteDespair]

2-4 legitimate attempts.

 

[Moon Flower]

This is probably going to be my first seriously thought out and legitimate attempt. I've thought about it a lot and wanted to do it for years but there's always been things stopping me.

 

[Darkhaven]

None, but when i do i pray that will be a "bullseye" hit!
SN for the win!

 

[Enabran255]

A few times when I was a teenager. I once took 13 tylenol thinking it would do the job. It just got me taken to the ER with a lot of pain. Second time I tried to cut the vein in my arm but the knife was too dull. Third time I tried with a plastic bag over my head but the CO2 was too much for me to handle and see it through.

Over ten years later, I arrived at a point where my life had been thoroughly destroyed by a vicious bully who first broke my heart by turning my crush (who had feelings for me too - to this day it remains the only time in my life I have ever had my romantic feelings requited) completely against me, and then destroying my reputation with gossip and slander which made all my friends block and disown me. It all culminated with my crush becoming facebook official with one of the guys who was now my ex-friend. When I saw that, I started making my plans to wander far off into Angeles National Forest and then shoot myself in the head with a 9mm.

I went to a sporting goods store, picked one out, and put down a deposit. They jerked me around with estimated arrival dates for over a month, until I finally gave up and got my deposit back. If I had known about Sodium Nitrite back then, I definitely would have done it.

 

[Haku]

This is probably going to be my first seriously thought out and legitimate attempt. I've thought about it a lot and wanted to do it for years but there's always been things stopping me.

The same goes for me, I tried many times but this is my first planned out attempt.

 

[trynacbt]

Echoing everyone else's statements. Tried countless times but in very stupid, unfruitful ways; this time I around I very much hope things will be different.

 

[Qverty7455]

3 times but it was impulsive every time but still I could CTB by these methods but this time I am planning and I hope that SN + meto will do the job.

 

[CarbonMonoxide]

Once, when I was 15. I swallowed a bunch of pills and woke up in hospital 3 days later. I'd been unconscious the whole time with no awareness of time.

I was in a boarding school. My survival was a miracle after taking all those psychiatric pills. Now, 19 years later, I'm considering ctb again. The only difference is that I'm better informed.

Failure is not possible at this point thanks to SS. An added plus is having such a wonderful support group. No judgement, just support.

Thanks guys.

 

[Jean4]

The most recent a few months ago. Unfortunately, I was found. I forgot I asked the super to fix my toilet. He found me.

 

[MaybeMaybeKnot]

First, welcome to SS. I've only had one serious attempt with ODing on Xanax but I didn't realize how high the LD50 is for those. I was going to throw some Dilaudid on top of that but I fell asleep too fast. I managed to talk my wife out of taking me to the ER despite having my note safety pinned to my shirt. I had also planned to leave the house. Now I plan to use partial. Or at least try to.

 

[sammii]

I've had 3 legitimate attempts, but they were all impulsive and didn't work out. I used to purposefully take way too many pills at a time but I don't count those as proper attempts.

 

[Rachel74]

In the early days they were impulsive and a cry for help over the years it's got more serious and my last attempt was the most frightening.

 

[6000qqq]

None. Ideally, my first attempt will be my last attempt.

 

[PDAnnie2610]

Tried a few times but not serious. Woke up in tears, not because I survive but because I failed in my attempts. Tried different pills combo, plus alcohol. Now contemplating SN but work has been pulling me back from ordering.

I feel so revolted by my family. Sigh.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

I tried.. So many times I can't count.

I'm type 1 Diabetic for 15 years as of the 26 of this month. When I was a teen, I'd purposely just not take my insulin until I was sick and on the brink of death. Turns out you can't hide your loud puking and dry heaving from your mother but I still tried many a time. Tried to throw up quietly. No dice.

 

[metalchic_74]

I slit both my wrists and main artery in my leg a few years ago. I was unconscious in the my bathtub for hours. One of my friends kicked down my door. I had just got released from psych hospital the day before. They knew I had SI and still released me. I had over 80 stitches and sent back to hospital. I've tried partial hanging 3x. Thank god for all the info on this forum. I plan on hanging again. After watching numerous videos I think I finally figured out how to complete.

 

[Kodama]

None. Ideally, my first attempt will be my last attempt.

Same for me

 

[Lethe]

I've never attempted before, because I wasn't aware of painless, easily accessible, and reliable methods until recently. I only intend to do it once, and be successful.

 

[MeltingHeart]

I wonder if after a certain number of times- it kind of changes you as a person- due to the kind of depth of despair you have to have been at- I feel like getting so close to the act so so many times-has altered me now-there is a darkness in my mind that wasnt there before- I can't ever go back to the time before I thought about it/ tried it etc.

 

[Neurodamaged2]

Several, all this year, that were serious but failed. Two hangings, several overdoses. I tried to psyche myself into another hanging attempt but I just can't get myself to do it. All did lasting brain damage, not disabling but my mind just isn't right anymore.

 

[MeltingHeart]

Several, all this year, that were serious but failed. Two hangings, several overdoses. I tried to psyche myself into another hanging attempt but I just can't get myself to do it. All did lasting brain damage, not disabling but my mind just isn't right anymore.

do you mind me asking did you get found with hanging? this is my worry- have been caught before trying (just at the start though) & my partner found a noose! they were horrified

 

[Neurodamaged2]

do you mind me asking did you get found with hanging? this is my worry- have been caught before trying (just at the start though) & my partner found a noose! they were horrified

Once the rope came undone and once I was found and revived.

 

[MeltingHeart]

Once the rope came undone and once I was found and revived.

oh im sorry, so you were actually unconscious then? ive never got that far...close...not close enough though

 

[metalchic_74]

I slit both my wrists and main artery in my leg a few years ago. I was unconscious in the my bathtub for hours. One of my friends kicked down my door. I had just got released from psych hospital the day before. They knew I had SI and still released me. I had over 80 stitches and sent back to hospital. I've tried partial hanging 3x. Thank god for all the info on this forum. I plan on hanging again. After watching numerous videos I think I finally figured out how to complete.

4x

Several, all this year, that were serious but failed. Two hangings, several overdoses. I tried to psyche myself into another hanging attempt but I just can't get myself to do it. All did lasting brain damage, not disabling but my mind just isn't right anymore.

Did you attempt partial hanging?

 

[Neurodamaged2]

oh im sorry, so you were actually unconscious then? ive never got that far...close...not close enough though

Yes, once I woke up seizing on the floor after the rope had come undone from the basement rafters. Another, I had been found without vitals and resuscitated (I was in a mental ward at the time), taken to a hospital and put into a coma for several days while my brain recovered. If you're going to commit suicide via hanging, don't fuck up the knots and don't let there be any risk of being found for at least an hour.

Did you attempt partial hanging?

No, full suspension hangings for both. I've attempted to try partial suspension more times than I could count but each time I pulled up before I passed out, I couldn't do it.

 

[takeyourshotfunboy]

Again, I don´t count all of these as ¨serious¨ suicide attempts, but if you do count the half-hearted ones, maybe 13 or 14 times. Cutting, overdosing, hanging, you name it. My first one was at age 9 I think. This time I am determined not to fail.

I slit both my wrists and main artery in my leg a few years ago. I was unconscious in the my bathtub for hours. One of my friends kicked down my door. I had just got released from psych hospital the day before. They knew I had SI and still released me. I had over 80 stitches and sent back to hospital. I've tried partial hanging 3x. Thank god for all the info on this forum. I plan on hanging again. After watching numerous videos I think I finally figured out how to complete.

This is gonna sound really weird, but I´m kind of jealous of people who have cut deep enough to get stitches. One time I cut really deep and it got infected so I had to tell my parents (so embarassing) and they said it wouldn´t need stitches.

A few times when I was a teenager. I once took 13 tylenol thinking it would do the job. It just got me taken to the ER with a lot of pain. Second time I tried to cut the vein in my arm but the knife was too dull. Third time I tried with a plastic bag over my head but the CO2 was too much for me to handle and see it through.

Over ten years later, I arrived at a point where my life had been thoroughly destroyed by a vicious bully who first broke my heart by turning my crush (who had feelings for me too - to this day it remains the only time in my life I have ever had my romantic feelings requited) completely against me, and then destroying my reputation with gossip and slander which made all my friends block and disown me. It all culminated with my crush becoming facebook official with one of the guys who was now my ex-friend. When I saw that, I started making my plans to wander far off into Angeles National Forest and then shoot myself in the head with a 9mm.

I went to a sporting goods store, picked one out, and put down a deposit. They jerked me around with estimated arrival dates for over a month, until I finally gave up and got my deposit back. If I had known about Sodium Nitrite back then, I definitely would have done it.

When I was like 9 or 10 I tried to overdose on melatonin. I was so dumb lmao

 

[Soulless_Angel]

I think I would have tried if I had got to the bridge I was walking too on April 2nd, but some nosey fucker called the police, so I don't really count that as a attempt, then in July I went to a bridge, but was ninja styled by the police pretty damn fast, Oct 14th i tried again, that was my first full blown I wana do this shit, but I didn't make it through as too many people around, so in all effects, one very serious attempt the rest half arsed shit, that meant nothing!

 

[Hadenuf]

Twice