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J

JamieJambo

Experienced
Apr 17, 2022
202
How many of you wish and hope each night that you will be taken that night, and almost convince yourself that it will happen only to wake up again and again?

I know I do
 
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GOODHI

GOODHI

Member
Nov 7, 2021
37
I do too except I'm not really convinced it will happen but I wish it did, I beg and pray to anything because I desperately want to die but I can't bring myself to do it, survival instinct and I'm scared that there's a hell and I will suffer even more
 
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not-2-b-the-answer

not-2-b-the-answer

Archangel
Mar 23, 2018
10,487
I do, but I wake up every morning and say Fuck!!!!:angry:
 
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WorthlessTrash

WorthlessTrash

Worthless
Apr 19, 2022
2,431
Who in this section (that doesn't want to recover) doesn't???
 
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S

Smart No More

Visionary
May 5, 2021
2,734
Definitely been there. It would have been a blessing at the peak of the onset of my illness. It's a hopeless and desperate feeling. I've started doing a little better lately. Not massively but any improvement is welcome. However having been sedentary for nearly two years and eating poorly, my heart has started feeling like it's under considerable strain. I may end up going that way. A very short walk took my breath away earlier. Last night I tried some press ups because my chest really felt bad. Couldn't even do ten. It's been coming on the last few days but I kind of suspected it might happen a while back. I'm not sure if I should try to turn it around or go with it. Having felt some improvements in my other health issues has me kind of wanting to grasp at some hope but in the back of my mind I don't really believe there's any turning around the other issues significant in my desire for ctb. Do I fight for a maybe? I kind of feel I must. It would be quite convenient to let my health deteriorate and take ending things out of my hands though. A relative of mine had a heart attack and was gone just like that. They say it would have been so fast they didn't feel it. Not sure if I believe that but it would be nice. I just hope, if it happens to me, I don't end up leaving the poor cat starved before I'm found.
 
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Lullaby

Lullaby

🌙
Mar 9, 2022
682
Every night, but it's something that's too good to be true, therefore I know it never will lol it's like a suicidal persons equivalent of winning the lottery.
 
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I

Idontmatter

Just want it all to be over
Oct 25, 2021
647
I do every night and I'm disappointed that I woke up every morning
 
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Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
3,558
It would be nice but I'd like it to be of my own volition too. I just fell asleep for an hour and got shocked awake, I hope its not going to be like that.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,314
Of course I wish for this, but I never actually believe that it will happen. I am tired of waking up, it is the most horrible feeling to wake up and realise that I am still here. To me, passing away in my sleep is the best way to die. I envy those who die that way. I wish that I could make death come easily and peacefully without having to go through the process of planning ctb. It hurts me that it is this difficult to leave this world.
 
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Huntfish34

Huntfish34

Enlightened
Mar 13, 2020
1,619
Yes,. Constantly.... And then I wake up for my dumbass job and fucked off life. Damntt,. Fml. -
 
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Rational man

Rational man

Enlightened
Oct 19, 2021
1,485
My progressive disease.will kill me.soon. I.hope.that.a.catastrophic malfunction occurs.and.then i.wont.exist.
 
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MaybeThisTime

MaybeThisTime

Member
Apr 21, 2022
13
Basically every night :pfff:
 
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J

JamieJambo

Experienced
Apr 17, 2022
202
I do too except I'm not really convinced it will happen but I wish it did, I beg and pray to anything because I desperately want to die but I can't bring myself to do it, survival instinct and I'm scared that there's a hell and I will suffer even more
Me too
I do too except I'm not really convinced it will happen but I wish it did, I beg and pray to anything because I desperately want to die but I can't bring myself to do it, survival instinct and I'm scared that there's a hell and I will suffer even more
Me too
Every night, but it's something that's too good to be true, therefore I know it never will lol it's like a suicidal persons equivalent of winning the lottery.
I actually looked up the odds the other day. And male dying in his sleep is like 1 in 250000

So yeah it similar
Every night, but it's something that's too good to be true, therefore I know it never will lol it's like a suicidal persons equivalent of winning the lottery.
I actually looked up the odds the other day. And male dying in his sleep is like 1 in 250000

So yeah it similar
 
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O

outrider567

Visionary
Apr 5, 2022
2,851
It just happened to actor Ray Liotta last night, died peacefully in his sleep---Wish that happens to me soon
 
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Huntfish34

Huntfish34

Enlightened
Mar 13, 2020
1,619
Damn. I didn't know that,. He was a pretty Damn good actor Imo. May he R.I.P. always and forever.
 
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L

Laba

Member
May 19, 2022
19
Actually every night i send my wish to whatever just to take me away from this world. I really dont want to wake up anymore.
 
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Lebensunwertes

Lebensunwertes

Du bist auf dich allein gestellt
May 26, 2022
141
I never "convince" myself that it will happen. That's a delusion. I do, however, hope that I'll be granted a sudden and peaceful death in my sleep due to some underlying genetic disease. You have not known the day nor the time.
 
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Rational man

Rational man

Enlightened
Oct 19, 2021
1,485
It just happened to actor Ray Liotta last night, died peacefully in his sleep---Wish that happens to me soon
he was 67.
Alan White,
drummer of Yes died too. Icon band of the 80s but to me their music was ageless heavy stuff.
I've never seen anyone die peacefully. My parents died appallingly and some friends who died of various disease had awful painful deaths. One friend was 28, he was incredibly handsome and yet his whole body had to wither away with cancer before he died. If he had the strength im sure he would have taken other options.
 
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O

outrider567

Visionary
Apr 5, 2022
2,851
he was 67.
Alan White,
drummer of Yes died too. Icon band of the 80s but to me their music was ageless heavy stuff.
I've never seen anyone die peacefully. My parents died appallingly and some friends who died of various disease had awful painful deaths. One friend was 28, he was incredibly handsome and yet his whole body had to wither away with cancer before he died. If he had the strength im sure he would have taken other options.
Yeah, when you hear that people died 'peacefully in their sleep',I wonder about that--Btw Yes was an icon band of the early 80's indeed but they were 70's icon first, Roundbout(1972)
 
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R

raybd

Member
Dec 4, 2019
88
How many of you wish and hope each night that you will be taken that night, and almost convince yourself that it will happen only to wake up again and again?

I know I do
I once wrote a book which ended with "Comme c'est doux de mourir!"
20+ years of wishing it every damn' night. since SHTC with health and other affairs. So don't want to press the CTB button. Would be nice to go on my own. Somehow, the heart fails not to beat.
 
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L

Lost21

Student
Sep 24, 2018
187
Every night for years I have wished I never wake up
 
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~Q~

~Q~

Waiting for the bus
May 20, 2022
93
Me. I hope every time i finally fall asleep that i wont wake up.
 
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Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
That's the way my dad passed away. But he was 87 with a heart condition. Yes I wish this would happen to me. Would solve a lot of problems.
 
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wanttodie

wanttodie

Enlightened
Apr 19, 2018
1,827
I do every night
 
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H

Hurt

Paragon
Nov 13, 2020
905
Every night. Last night I told myself "I wish I died in my sleep tonight. A peaceful death."
Actually every night i send my wish to whatever just to take me away from this world. I really dont want to wake up anymore.
Waking up is the worst part of the day.
 
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Liferunner

Liferunner

Waiting to exit...
May 1, 2022
19
Every night...
 
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novem

novem

Experienced
May 9, 2022
273
how many of you?
Start bending your figures!!
 
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Hirokami

Hirokami

Out of order
Feb 21, 2021
607
I stopped wishing for that long ago. While my mind is shot, my physiology is near perfect. I'd have a better chance getting hit by a meteor than dying in my sleep.
 
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G

gatzzz

Member
May 22, 2022
8
Not since i was a teenager.
I know I'm gonna do this and the exact date is set so it's actually the other way around.

I don't want to think about death while I'm still breathing.
 
LeapOfFaith

LeapOfFaith

Member
Jul 16, 2020
80
My anxiety starts before I open my eyes every morning. The feeling of waking up is one of the worst ones. It's like waking up to a never-ending cycle of nightmares. I understand that I probably won't die in my sleep but that would be the perfect ending. I just want to be unconscious. I can feel my heart beating faster & faster as soon as I wake up. It's like having a panic-attack every morning.

So to answer your question.. Yes I wish to die in my sleep every night and I usually try to imagine it just to comfort me before falling asleep.
 
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