How many of you had ok lives till everything went downhill?

[_Minsk]

^

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Not me. I never had an okay life to begin with

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

My life has actually always been relatively okay. Even now with my constant anxiety and depression and traumatic experiences, none of those are as severe as they could be and so many people who have had it so much worse could probably have made a real fine existence with the opportunities I've had. I realize my mind just isn't built for the few drawbacks I've received to the point where all of the things that make me lucky aren't enough to cancel out the tiny struggles I've faced. All of my "downhill" events were relationship related and everyone knows that stronger people could have simply picked themselves up and moved on and I can't, which makes me defective and selfish.

Even the extent to which I hate myself is preventable. I hate that asshole (me) because at any moment he literally could decide to end this internal war we've been having but neither of us want to out of spite. Only a romantic relationship would be enough to call a truce and we both know we aren't going to get one nor do we deserve one.

 

[Zaphkiel]

Tough question.

I thought i had a good life before ending ultimatly here, but in retrospect i think i always had a shitty one. It's just that everything else than the present seems more flowery.

 

[11April]

Yes, I had a happy life. This is one of the reasons why it is difficult for me to give up on life now - I know what happiness is. It was short-lived, much shorter than the torment that followed. But it was still worth it.

 

[rotciv]

Yes, I had a happy life. This is one of the reasons why it is difficult for me to give up on life now - I know what happiness is. It was short-lived, much shorter than the torment that followed. But it was still worth it.

I really feel that, it's really difficult to give up now after all, it's mentally torturous

 

[KillingPain267]

Yes, I had a happy life. This is one of the reasons why it is difficult for me to give up on life now - I know what happiness is. It was short-lived, much shorter than the torment that followed. But it was still worth it.

I feel the opposite. The good is not worth it compared to the torment.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

From today's point of view I had an "ok life" for over 40 years - a life that was good with the avg ups and downs we all have to deal with. It went downhill in the past years not bc of health issues but materialistic stuff (money).

 

[11April]

I feel the opposite. The good is not worth it compared to the torment.

I'm sorry this happened to you.
Essentially, the meaning of life is to experience as much happiness and as little pain as possible.

 

[kindalone]

I don't know. It felt okay. But looking back at it, I think I was just less damaged than I am now. I've been in this for too long. Too fragile to continue.

 

[lebrodude]

My life was good, I mean underwhelming in a way that I never lived up to my potential but I was happy enough.

Then tinnitus entered my life.

 

[wheredidigo]

My life has actually always been relatively okay. Even now with my constant anxiety and depression and traumatic experiences, none of those are as severe as they could be and so many people who have had it so much worse could probably have made a real fine existence with the opportunities I've had. I realize my mind just isn't built for the few drawbacks I've received to the point where all of the things that make me lucky aren't enough to cancel out the tiny struggles I've faced. All of my "downhill" events were relationship related and everyone knows that stronger people could have simply picked themselves up and moved on and I can't, which makes me defective and selfish.

Even the extent to which I hate myself is preventable. I hate that asshole (me) because at any moment he literally could decide to end this internal war we've been having but neither of us want to out of spite. Only a romantic relationship would be enough to call a truce and we both know we aren't going to get one nor do we deserve one.

Sorry you feel like this. I sympathise with the internal struggle. Sounds quite similar to how I feel about myself. Being your own worst enemy when having set-backs in life is hard

 

[Rubypie41]

Yes, prior to my physical conditions I'd say I had a good life. Yes I had the usual ups and downs but on the whole things were good and I was always full of optimism about the future. Sure, there are things I could have done better, mistakes made, but there were plenty of good times. Life is a journey and a learning curve, so I'm sure everyone, even those who would say have had a fantastic life have also made mistakes and had their ups and downs throughout. I actually want to live now more than ever if only my physical conditions could be resolved. Going to such dark places really makes you reflect on life and put things into perspective. The things that I now realise matter the most are having a healthy body/mind, being in the present, doing the things that make you happy and not caring what others think, building and maintaining relationships/friendships, seeing your family on a regular basis and not letting the little things that are quite frankly not that important bother you or bring you down. I spent many years trying to make myself happy, that it's easy to get consumed in yourself and lose sight of the things around you. I always felt like I was in a rush to get things done, whereas now I'm practically housebound that manic rushing around feeling has gone and I can actually see clearly now that there was no need to be rushing about so much. We sometimes need to slow down, breathe, be present in the moments, take things in, appreciate the little things in life and most importantly we need to be there for one another, bond, do things for other people, not put people down. God I wish my physical conditions could be resolved. I was happy at times before but I know how much happier I could be knowing what I know now.

 

[wheredidigo]

Despite being so lucky to have had a better deal in life than so many hear, and my heart goes out to you. In the past I've had bouts of depression I'd say I'd mostly had a good life, I hit a few hard times (got cheated on and divorced, made redundant, had to sell house which was my own fault as I stupidly got addicted to online gambling, BDD, financial worries) but felt I'd recovered again and turned a corner in 2021. Until last year, when depression returned and I couldn't recover in time to save a romantic relationship which meant everything to me. I'm 44F, now living back in another city with my parents (who I'm lucky to have as they have always unconditionally support me) had so much time off on sick leave and I'm lucky to still have a chance to go back to work, but it's still so hard to stop suicidal thoughts, despite therapy and knowing I'm loved by family and a few good friends