
_Minsk
death: the cure for life
- Dec 9, 2019
- 1,142
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Yes, I had a happy life. This is one of the reasons why it is difficult for me to give up on life now - I know what happiness is. It was short-lived, much shorter than the torment that followed. But it was still worth it.
I feel the opposite. The good is not worth it compared to the torment.Yes, I had a happy life. This is one of the reasons why it is difficult for me to give up on life now - I know what happiness is. It was short-lived, much shorter than the torment that followed. But it was still worth it.
I'm sorry this happened to you.I feel the opposite. The good is not worth it compared to the torment.
Sorry you feel like this. I sympathise with the internal struggle. Sounds quite similar to how I feel about myself. Being your own worst enemy when having set-backs in life is hardMy life has actually always been relatively okay. Even now with my constant anxiety and depression and traumatic experiences, none of those are as severe as they could be and so many people who have had it so much worse could probably have made a real fine existence with the opportunities I've had. I realize my mind just isn't built for the few drawbacks I've received to the point where all of the things that make me lucky aren't enough to cancel out the tiny struggles I've faced. All of my "downhill" events were relationship related and everyone knows that stronger people could have simply picked themselves up and moved on and I can't, which makes me defective and selfish.
Even the extent to which I hate myself is preventable. I hate that asshole (me) because at any moment he literally could decide to end this internal war we've been having but neither of us want to out of spite. Only a romantic relationship would be enough to call a truce and we both know we aren't going to get one nor do we deserve one.