How many of us will actually CTB?

[clown_17]

I believe it's a 70/30 for me. I'd like to say 100% getting it done but I know that SI is a bitch and there are certain things stopping me. I hold too much of a grudge for everything I have survived to just give up. That's why I still try to recover. And if recovery works in the next year or so then the 30% has been realized. If it takes longer I will come to the realization that it won't ever get better, and that will be the final push I need to do it. Once that realization fully sinks in I think it will be 100% fatal for me. I already believe there's no hope of recovery but I still wait the year or so to see if it's just a suspicion or fact. Slowly each day I learn I was right.

 

[Adamsnolife]

I will be in the not too distant future

 

[Bone]

bro my situation is so fucked i'm taking shit day by day and basically on SS with a huge amount of my time. barely clinging to life over here.

 

[Sleeper22222]

If you're on here, what are the chances you will actually CTB? As for me, I'm starting to my recovery. I just took my mood stabiliser for the first time and it will take a couple of weeks to see if its working.

I wonder how many people actually go through with it because I have some suicidal friends that scream everyday they're going to end it yet they keep on living.

I have no choice but to choose recovery first. I can't leave my mom behind and its impossible to obtain something like SN as long as I live with my mom. If meds dont cure me, I get the choice to either live with being suicidal or go for euthanasia. I really hope they would accept my request.

I have known since I was 8 that I will CTB unless something else takes me out before then. I was serious about all my attempts throughout my life but have been uneducated until fairly recently. My last attempt last year should have worked but I was discovered. No sense of relief whatsoever that I failed when I woke up in the hospital and then got put in a psyche ward where I learned you have to completely lie about everything if you want to get out. So I refuse to be put in that situation again.

This time around I've spent a long time into planning and preparing so when I am ready, I know it will work. I have a date set, which kind of makes life more bearable knowing that the end is approaching. I'm lucky enough to not have anyone relying on me so there is no guilt holding me back.

 

[plough22]

Damned SI has got me twice, but I know when I'm pushed once more then I can't. What's the percentage when, I don't know but do I feel ill die at my own hand. Yes

 

[Kennish]

Something inside me says that it can be better. But my OCD is killing me. And right now my days only consists of smoking way to many cigarettes so it hurts my throat and walking my aunt's dog. My OCD is regarding clothes, and it is killing me, after I stopped using drugs.

 

[SOL3HIRO]

I am attempting tonight and have attempted many times in the past 2 years. I am extremely serious about tonight and if it doesn't work then I will def cry so hard afterwards.