How many here on disability versus how many here work?

[Tegan_sky]

Hi. Are there others here on SSDI, SSI, state disability, or unable to work at all because of depression/mental health/physical health issues? I have been on SSDI since early 2014, seems to me that on the first try getting it, SSA must have paid attention to how many records there are on me, of years and years of treatment for my depression/anxiety/bipolar. When they approved me I thought "why are people congratulating me, when the government basically said to me, 'even
WE think you're too fucked up to work.' " It was a relief though, those last years trying to work sick were a nightmare every day for those last years, even one time having my therapist threatening to send the police to come and get me at my job, fearing I would commit suicide. So is anyone else unable to work?

If you do work, how is it for you, does work have anything to do with your wanting to ctb?

 

[Boochky]

Hi,

I'm currently on state through CA and am applying for federal.

I did work corporate for 20 years though and it definitely made me worse. I had to continue on with meds that didn't work or caused other alarming side effects because I couldn't try new cocktails and still be productive.

I'm glad you were approved!

 

[Rachel74]

I work full time and always have.

 

[Mloureiro]

Unfortunately in a job I hate but pays decent and I need to provide for my family. But clearly contributed to my state of mind...

 

[sammii]

I'm on disability, I had to quit my job a few years ago because i was having panic attacks constantly. I have autism and social anxiety and I was working in retail lmao, not a good mix.

 

[BPD_LE]

Disability. When I try to work, I tend to get sacked. Got sacked because a co-worker refused to work with me. She said my mood swings affected her and I shouldn't be allowed round the general public. Boss took her side. Nice hey? Ex copper as well. Knocked my confidence, haven't worked since.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

Disability for the first year

 

[Qdv]

I attempted to get disability because of severe depressive episodes that result from it and panic attacks but was denied despite multiple hospitalizations and problems. So I work full time but the impact it has on me is horrific. I cant balance both and bc I have no choice but to work to keep a flow of income future attempts to claim disability will likely be denied my case worker told me

 

[Shakespear's Brother]

SSDI, for years now. I'm so overwhelmed with symptoms of my mental illness that it would be impossible for me to do any type of work at all. It takes a sustained effort for me to compose my thoughts.

 

[Midnight]

Work has been the only thing that kept my mind out of the darkness it usually resides in. Even though it's a source of frustration from time to time especially when getting out of bed and asking myself why the fuck i even bother or dread to go there. Once i'm there i usually don't have much time to be depressed/suicidal. Also being arround coworkers helps take my mind of off things. (Doesn't mean i don't think bad thoughts at work but it's alot less) as soon as i close the door behind me at the end of the day and get in my car it all comes crashing down.

I remember when on holiday's i turned into a wreck real fast because i was alone with my mind and the bad thoughts are there constantlty.

So even though i hate wage slaving and just getting by having a job might be the only reason i'm still here. Because it didn't allow me to be alone for long enough. Weekends are the roughest times .. by sunday i'm just a mess. Then it takes the whole monday to snap back out of it. By tuesday i'm my "normal" self again. Repeating that shit every single week.

I don't know wether i should be glad about it or not though.

 

[sleepy dog]

I am on disability. I want to work again part time. Why? Because having nothing to do is horrible. I volunteered for about a year. It was 8-10 hours a day 4-5 days a week. I liked it. They don't have volunteer positions there anymore. This is such a small town there are no more opportunities to volunteer. I remember times when I worked I just wanted to stay at home, or stay away from people and the stress they were causing. Or not getting any sleep or just 2 hours. Or being forced to work with a cold or flu. I know what its like to dread going to work. But I think it absolutely has a therapeutic effect. Just having something to do, keep the body moving, the mind busy. Its negative sometimes because you don't get to decide how much time you are there on the job. People get burned out.

 

[Astral316]

I'm on SSI...

The official reason is schizoaffective disorder but really it's because I can't (or don't want to?) interact with people who treat me like an alien.

 

[passenger27]

I'm on disability for bipolar, agoraphobia, PTSD, & personality disorder. Too many things.

 

[wanttodie]

I'm on disability , cant work as im way to slow at doing stuff been fired from jobs do this so had so had to go on disability and they do not give you a Enough money to live on this one of part of way I want to end my life

 

[Final Escape]

I do have to work, I probably could have qualified for disability but I just couldn't follow through with the process. I don't actually have a job but I work lol!

I'm on disability , cant work as im way to slow at doing stuff been fired from jobs do this so had so had to go on disability and they do not give you a Enough money to live on this one of part of way I want to end my life

This was why I felt pressure to go into informal employment. Working for an employer was so stressful and I typically could not meet the expectations well enough. I was slow and bad working memory, could not function if there was too much stress or I was too bored, too much repetition, difficulty with workplace politics, drama.

 

[Shamana]

Just got put on a disability pension. Been out of work for 10 years.

 

[TheNorthernSilence]

Just got put on a disability pension. Been out of work for 10 years.

I'm also on this kind of disability pension, I'd say for about 2-3 years. It's also been almost 10 years since I worked.

 

[Eurus]

I work,never had disability or SSI,not because I dont want it,or couldn't get it,I just don't understand all the paperwork and stuff involved,I think it might help if I had it,I dunno,I barely make enough for food let alone being able to have roof over my head,luckily I live with my dad and he doesn't charge rent.oh,and then I'd have to pay car insurance if I had a vehicle which I don't,so it's like choosing between food,housing,and transportation,and other bills

 

[Wreck-it-Riley]

Disability. When I try to work, I tend to get sacked. Got sacked because a co-worker refused to work with me. She said my mood swings affected her and I shouldn't be allowed round the general public. Boss took her side. Nice hey? Ex copper as well. Knocked my confidence, haven't worked since.

Bout the same for me. It's all praise until i have a bad week of swings and the fired.

 

[truthseeker]

SSDI for 18 years. When things briefly looked up healthwise 6 years ago, I made an earnest effort to find work. Didn't get a single callback but that wasn't surprising given my circumstances.

 

[Mloureiro]

Well, I wish I did not have to to deal with a bully as boss and mean co-workers but disability here is only for extreme cases, like you have a terminal disease or something and is like 200 euros or so. So, I have to work and can't switch jobs which is one of the reasons contributing to my current state of mind

 

[Heart of Ice]

I live on student benefits.

 

[Final Escape]

Well, I wish I did not have to to deal with a bully as boss and mean co-workers but disability here is only for extreme cases, like you have a terminal disease or something and is like 200 euros or so. So, I have to work and can't switch jobs which is one of the reasons contributing to my current state of mind

This was why I became ambivalent about working. Dealing with bad bosses and shitty coworkers. Some of these people are sadists.

 

[Beautifulletdown]

I attempted to get disability because of severe depressive episodes that result from it and panic attacks but was denied despite multiple hospitalizations and problems. So I work full time but the impact it has on me is horrific. I cant balance both and bc I have no choice but to work to keep a flow of income future attempts to claim disability will likely be denied my case worker told me

Same with me, but I'm trying to find a job at the moment and it has been rather challenging. Trying to keep a stiff upper lip and keep going though some days are difficult honestly.

 

[Mloureiro]

This was why I became ambivalent about working. Dealing with bad bosses and shitty coworkers. Some of these people are sadists.

But there is no option. Bill have to be paid

 

[pole]

neither.

 

[Final Escape]

But there is no option. Bill have to be paid

Yea the only option is to be homeless or jail/prison. Either one is not a nice existence.

 

[Egddios]

I receive SSI, and food assistance ie EBT, 'food stamps' or where I live, the program is called SNAP. I'm eligible for and receive Medicare as well. If one is receiving SSI or SSDI, are they automatically enrolled in Medicare?

Anyhow, I worked full time as a Nanny for nearly the entirety of my 20's (paid 'under the table', no healthcare), into my early 30's. Both my husband and I worked and still couldn't afford health insurance. It wasn't until 2015, after 2 attempts and multiple breakdowns I was eligible for state healthcare, then ultimately was approved for SSI and Medicare.

Diagnosis: MDD, PTSD

 

[Lefty]

I work part-time, though I probably should be on disability with all the mental illness I have. Not officially diagnosed with anything but depression/anxiety. While I might benefit from disability, I hear it isn't enough to live on and to get on it is quite the bureaucratic process.

 

[*KNAZ*]

I work but it makes things worse for me. Adds so much extra pressure, anxiety, and stress that I don't need. In fact my work environment is my number one source of distress. Wish I could get disability but I don't seem to be as bad off as I need to be to qualify. People tell me to practice gratitude, bless their well-meaning-but-misguided hearts.