I have a few friends. The problem is I'm so fucking sick with depression that I cannot be in social situations, cannot hold a conversation, am not okay or "fun" to be around. It's agonizing to have this raging fucing hell inside my head & desperate living situation and have to hold that all inside and try to have a "nice" conversation/interaction. Me socializing would be so false. And I do not want to get into such heavy, desperate conversation where I'm talking about depression, meds, suicide.
TLDR: I do have a couple of friends but I cannot be around people in the state I'm in. I feel as though I have no one.