How.many failed attempts have you had

[I want to die]

Probably around 5 attempts but maybe more. I started at the age of 11.

 

[MistakesHappen]

Too many... i should be more efficient

 

[Batstern]

Do you think that you would have eventually passed out if you left the bag on your head? I'm curious, because if there was enough gas inside to keep you unconscious for more than 1-2 minutes, then you'd probably remain unconscious from lack of oxygen and eventually die from inhaling carbon dioxide, which would make this a really good method for people who can't order a tank of helium.

I'm pretty sure it would work. The logic is that the bag has no oxygen in it and hence no oxygen enters your system. This also means you produce no CO2 so the CO2 concentration doesn't increase in the bag. This is a good thing as high CO2 concentrations are typically what causes your body to panic about asphyxia. So you wouldn't die from inhaling CO2, but rather your brain would be starved of oxygen.

It should work the same way as inert gas, except deodorant is a bit, err, 'sharp' to breathe. It's not pleasant, but it's not painful either.
I couldn't advocate for it though, as I'm far from an expert in any of this stuff.

 

[headinghome]

Four "serious attempts" for me. Two of which had me at Death's door and I can re-account with clarity how it felt.

The first one that had me at Death's door was slowly suffocating myself with a plastic bag on my head. I must have laid there for over an hour just slowly letting Carbon monoxide replace the oxygen, being aware of my labored shallow breath over "time". it takes about 15 minutes of the body to lose all oxygen and "die" even unconscious, so I figured elongating the process slowly would deprive my organs of the oxygen and allow Death to be easier to achieve.
I was right.
Something within me "clicked" I went from lying calmly to thrashing/choking, I had the "flashing before my eyes", like all your thoughts/perceptions are being scrambled like eggs with a fork, you get blinks of things overlaying, your eyes are "open" but you can't see. I felt and heard my heart beating in my chest, I remember screaming in my head for it to stop, to have the pain stop, I felt like I couldn't take it anymore.
Then, bliss.
I felt like I was floating, still, and everything was calm, but I was floating "downward", it was very peaceful, no thoughts, no feeling, just "being". I didn't see anything but darkness, but I "felt" surrounded. IDK if that is the "afterlife" or not, but I felt like I was coming upon something that would be. But then something within me called, whether it was "God/guardian angel/Death" I can't say, but it wasn't my own "voice" saying how "it's not your time yet child."
Then I ripped the bag off my head and gasp'd for air.

My second almost attempt was partical suspension in hanging.
The last thing I remember was just dropping my full weight. I wasn't even aware I was unconscious it happened so fast. However the "human survival instinct" was very strong within me and some how I managed to "stand" and get weight off my neck and breath again, regaining consciousness.
It was terrifying, I felt like a deer panicking fully in raw instinct, I was instantly in tears and scared trying to run away only to be held by the noose and result in more panic. I managed to get it off of me and collapse on the ground trembling and sobbing so hard my chest felt like it would burst into pieces.

Found my will to live after that hanging attempt, I am doing everything I can to try and die naturally, however I know if I have enough reason I could easily have another attempt and probably succeed.

Perhaps because I'm a high empath, and an old soul that has me come here despite being "healthy" I by no means am here to condemn or persay anyone from doing what they feel they have to. I do have experience and advice, and if that can offer and help another suffering soul find peace with as little pain as possible then that is intention I can find peace with.

that sounds horrible… Horrifying and scary… How could you want to go back to those awful places… I want to be dead because I want the suffering from my physical body to end… But I don't see any real way for me to get there… And this website that I thought was going to offer me some sort of answers or help just seems to be more depressing every time I read more....I can't believe we are made to suffer like this and act like this and want to die I can't believe circumstances put us in such horrible positions all of this hell has change the way I view the world and my life...
I wish I had never been born I would give up everything to end his suffering even never to have been alive begin with and I had a lot of good things that happened to me…

 

[Redrock]

0 i hope the first will be the last

 

[pole]

I've tried hanging multiple times. Cant seem to get it right. How about you

One like 6 years ago or so when i was around 13 or 14, tried stabbing myself with a knife. Pussied out i guess and didnt go to the extent. Thats about the most of an attempt.

 

[Ready2goGermany]

One serious with full hanging. Unfortunately I didn't kick away the chair far enough and after a few moments of dangling my survival instincts won

 

[First loss]

Two from hanging.

 

[John Smith]

Two from hanging.

Full suspension? Why did you fail?

 

[limone]

I failed hanging about one moth ago. The rope was too long and I hit the floor with my tiptoes. Then I was standing for few hours until I was found by my cousin. I was taken to hospital due to damage of small neck bones and cervical spine.

 

[Wanderer_with_Death]

that sounds horrible… Horrifying and scary… How could you want to go back to those awful places… I want to be dead because I want the suffering from my physical body to end… But I don't see any real way for me to get there… And this website that I thought was going to offer me some sort of answers or help just seems to be more depressing every time I read more....I can't believe we are made to suffer like this and act like this and want to die I can't believe circumstances put us in such horrible positions all of this hell has change the way I view the world and my life...
I wish I had never been born I would give up everything to end his suffering even never to have been alive begin with and I had a lot of good things that happened to me…

There will be pain no matter what in terms of dying, its going to be scary to some extend no matter what. I empathize with how you feel, I've been in your shoes as well feeling helpless and hopeless, it may be a long shot, but perception and mindset can make a difference.

If you believe you're here to suffer then you will, if you focus on the negative instead of solutions and hope then you'll have abundance in that negativity and lack of hope. If you externalize your well-being and happiness then you're more prone to having more abundance in that negativity, because external factors are unreliable the only "control" you truly have and who will never leave you, is you.

If it resenates with you, and since it helped me turn my life around for the better despite my "failed attempts", I highly suggest you look into self love, and becoming your own best friend, then at least everything else including external factors can be an addition, and if external stress happens, then you can perhaps try and view it as a lesson/opportunity to grow instead of victimizing how you're meant to just suffer.

 

[Lobo64]

1 when i was 22.

 

[Kikoo Loool]

I failed partial once. I dunno if I can say I failed, I was so bad at doing it that I think I was at no moment about to die or even pass out. I never wanted so genuinely to die though.

 

[PatKat]

3 for me
2008 crashed my car into a wall at 75mph woke up from cona rebuilt 3 months later. <still have issues from it>.

Partial suspension - found withing 2-3 mins hanging, unconscious, and not breathing.

Partial suspension - belt broke and I woke up in the floor not knowing where or who I was.

 

[John Smith]

Has anyone failed at full suspension?

 

[LadyAbandon]

It's hard to settle on a number. I've spent many years of my life actively abusing heroin, and the way I use at least, doing my best to chase down death is just part of the average night.

But if I narrow my criteria to include only occasions with a clear and immediate intent to die (not just a vague wish or a rolling of the dice), and counting only attempts involving loss of consciousness or hospitalization, that leads to a total of about 10. (Too many—what a badge of incompetence.) Two ODs of pills, one partial hanging/asphyxiation attempt, one mixed attempt involving ODing and intentionally eating a nut despite a severe allergy, without epinephrine on hand (probably the closest I ever came); the rest were straightforward heroin/opioid ODs.

I've pretty much given up on ODing, though it was my method of choice for a long time. After a while it started to feel like a waste of good drugs, to shoot what would normally last me a week or more, preparations made and note written, sure that this time no one could survive that quantity....only to wake up many hours later, needle still in arm, but still despairingly, accursedly alive.

If I could get sufficient quantities of fentanyl I might rethink it. Otherwise, the next time I'm shooting myself in the head.

 

[BandAddict]

I've tried 4-5 times in the last three years. On Monday something traumatizing happened and I could have died from OD... The police got involved though and found out.

 

[akita]

Same boat as you, can't get hanging down. But I just keep telling myself that it only takes one success

 

[Ready2goGermany]

Has anyone failed at full suspension?

Yes. I used a neck tie instead of a rope and gave up after a few moments. The chair was still near me and I could get back on it. I was nowhere near blacking out. I plan to repeat with a rope soon

 

[Ruffian]

I'm the failed OD queen - like 10? Before doing research i tried cutting my wrists. I didn't realuze what a poor method it is.

 

[Ruffian]

One serious with full hanging. Unfortunately I didn't kick away the chair far enough and after a few moments of dangling my survival instincts won

Ugh. What was hanging there like?

 

[Ready2goGermany]

Ugh. What was hanging there like?

It was painful. I probably messed up the knot and didn't black out at all. The only thing I got was a light pain in the neck and a red face for almost a week. I had to tell everybody it was some kind of allergic reaction

 

[First loss]

Full suspension? Why did you fail?

Full. Survival instinct and my belts were probably a bit off.

 

[VikingWinger]

One where I went in to really end my self, but I was drunk and managed to screw up partial by using a weak material.

 

[Donewitheverything]

Twice. First time, I overdosed on pills and only ended up passing out. Second time, my ex pretty much karate chopped my neck to prevent me from swallowing an entire bottle of pills. Not that pills in general are a very effective method of ctb, especially prescription and otc.

 

[CelebrateWithMe]

I am a perfectionist... first one will be the last one.

 

[deathenvoy]

Only one attempt - about 40mg of lorazepam mixed with alcohol.
My next attempt will be lethal.

 

[Mr. Hang Man]

I only had one attempt I'm not planning on failing a second time.

 

[John Smith]

I only had one attempt I'm not planning on failing a second time.

what was your method?

 

[Mr. Hang Man]

what was your method?

Falling, went to a freeway and tried falling upon passing cars, I couldn't even do it because of the SI so I guess it's not even an attempt.