Discussion How many different meds have you tried before giving up?

[LookingforAnswers]

How many different kinds of meds have you tried before you have given up hope and have decided to ctb?

Im on med number 6 and losing hope by the minute

 

[symphony]

Christ, I can't even count. I can't even remember them all. Recently a new mental health professional I started seeing asked for a list of what I've taken in the past and I did my best to write them out by hand on a sheet of blank paper. I listed each med on a new line, my handwriting is pretty small, chances are good I missed at least a few, and even so, I filled about 3/4 of the page.

Being treatment-resistant fucking sucks. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that too.

 

[LookingforAnswers]

Christ, I can't even count. I can't even remember them all. Recently a new mental health professional I started seeing asked for a list of what I've taken in the past and I did my best to write them out by hand on a sheet of blank paper. I listed each med on a new line, my handwriting is pretty small, chances are good I missed at least a few, and even so, I filled about 3/4 of the page.

Being treatment-resistant fucking sucks. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that too.

What keeps you going/ have you ever found relief?

 

[western_heart]

A few dozen, over the past 15 years. I have tried most mental health med classes besides MAOIs and opioids. Few psychiatric medications have been helpful, and those that do don't cure the depression.

I keep taking lamotrigine, I don't know if it helps, I am tapering off of it very slowly. I also take Focalin (dexmethylphenidate, a stimulant) so I can work, and etizolam (research chemical benzo) for sleep. And I take high CBD edibles almost every day.

I take ketamine analogues which have been incredibly helpful in getting me to where I am now - able to work, free from trauma and flashbacks, but I am still extremely depressed, and don't see much benefit from doing them anymore.

I might consider MAOIs, and really should be using psychedelics more. But one of the last times I did shrooms, I had a bad flashback.

 

[symphony]

What keeps you going/ have you ever found relief?

That's... a good question, and I'm not sure I have an equally good answer. I'll start with your second question. Nothing I've tried has helped to the point that I've "found relief", but some things help enough that even though they don't really make me feel better, I'm even worse off without them. So, that's something at least.

I'm sure you know this, but I feel I should also mention there's more out there than just meds. There are countless types of therapy, and depending on what your issues are, treatments like ECT, TMS, and ketamine can be effective in those who don't respond to traditional medications. I've also heard of deep brain stimulation and neurofeedback but don't know nearly as much about them.

Now, what keeps me going... I guess the biggest factor is I'm not quite desperate enough that I feel I need to ctb immediately. But I don't have much hope left for recovery either. So for the time being, I'm kind of pursuing both options concurrently. I'm actively making plans to end my life, but I am still in treatment. There are some treatment options I still haven't tried and I've been exploring those. I guess the idea is that if enough time passes and still nothing has changed, I'll have my out.

Wishing you all the best in your own journey.

 

[LookingforAnswers]

That's... a good question, and I'm not sure I have an equally good answer. I'll start with your second question. Nothing I've tried has helped to the point that I've "found relief", but some things help enough that even though they don't really make me feel better, I'm even worse off without them. So, that's something at least.

I'm sure you know this, but I feel I should also mention there's more out there than just meds. There are countless types of therapy, and depending on what your issues are, treatments like ECT, TMS, and ketamine can be effective in those who don't respond to traditional medications. I've also heard of deep brain stimulation and neurofeedback but don't know nearly as much about them.

Now, what keeps me going... I guess the biggest factor is I'm not quite desperate enough that I feel I need to ctb immediately. But I don't have much hope left for recovery either. So for the time being, I'm kind of pursuing both options concurrently. I'm actively making plans to end my life, but I am still in treatment. There are some treatment options I still haven't tried and I've been exploring those. I guess the idea is that if enough time passes and still nothing has changed, I'll have my out.

Wishing you all the best in your own journey.

Thanks my friend.

Ive tried accelerated tms to no avail in fact i think it made me worse. Ketamine only tried twice but didnt feel anything so didnt want to keep paying the large amounts per iv infusion though i may try again.

ECT is in my mind now but scared due to memory loss concerns etc.

 

[Starryeyes]

Tried one mood stabiliser but countless anti depressants. Been taking the newest one over a year and I can't say it's made any difference

 

[LONE WOLF.]

Have tried most of them but none did anything but make me feel worse, Over the past 3 year's l've been on 2mg Clonazepam twice daily and they've been really helpful especially for mood stabilizing and sleeping and especially for keeping my temper at bay but my Stupid Quack is reducing the amount l get every week even though l've told the fool their the Best meds l've ever been prescribed!

 

[lili]

I've tried so many, medications don't also work for me either. My psychiatrist doesn't want to prescribe me anymore because I've tried to commit suicide with so many of them. Even with antipsychotics.

There was one I tried that seemed to work, that was billed as suicide proof because it would dissolve in your tongue, so you couldn't just drink a bunch of pills. But their really expensive I can't afford them.

So I don't see a psychiatrist or anything anymore I've just tried so many and they all have side effects that cause other problems.

 

[LookingforAnswers]

I've tried so many, medications don't also work for me either. My psychiatrist doesn't want to prescribe me anymore because I've tried to commit suicide with so many of them. Even with antipsychotics.

There was one I tried that seemed to work, that was billed as suicide proof because it would dissolve in your tongue, so you couldn't just drink a bunch of pills. But their really expensive I can't afford them.

So I don't see a psychiatrist or anything anymore I've just tried so many and they all have side effects that cause other problems.

So what are you doing/how do you cope?

 

[OnlyTheWind]

Only one, but I don't feel motivated to fix myself anymore. I've been reducing the dose steadily anyway.

 

[UpandDownPrincess]

If I tried to count all the various combinations, I couldn't. But I've been on some variation of my current cocktail for more than 9 years, with and without the addition of lithium. My current pysch does offer ketamine, so that's likely the next one if I'm in need. I am a little concerned because I had a flash of darkness recently - a bad one - but it passed almost immediately.

I will never stop trying.

 

[lili]

So what are you doing/how do you cope?

I feel quite unstable and it is hard for me to cope. My depression is bad at the moment.

But since I can't CBT at the moment, I try to not socialize with people, just because I'm scared it might make me manic. I'm just tired of chaos. So this is about to be the third week I've been at my house.

I also play a lot of video games, I've been watching so many movies. Sometimes it's really hard to get the energy to do anything but whenever I do manage to get the energy I try to do it.

At least where I am there is a lot of sunlight. Need that. Play a lot of music. Dance to it, have a lot of physical movement to outwardly express my emotions (dance) I am taking care of my friends cat I pet it a lot. I am also in the arts, so I try to work on my projects. Although it's really hard to be motivated for that.

Eat really healthy. Fresh fish.

In general I feel really empty inside and I feel desensitized from the world so I try to loose contact from it as much as possible.

I hope any of this helps. Sorry if this was a long answer to the question.

 

[LookingforAnswers]

If I tried to count all the various combinations, I couldn't. But I've been on some variation of my current cocktail for more than 9 years, with and without the addition of lithium. My current pysch does offer ketamine, so that's likely the next one if I'm in need. I am a little concerned because I had a flash of darkness recently - a bad one - but it passed almost immediately.

I will never stop trying.

What is the current cocktail?

 

[Hurt]

Never tried meds. Only therapy. It didnt work :/

 

[deathbydragon]

Six. None worked, one (Trazodone) made me feel worse, all give me side effects.
I'm done for the most part. Bupropion sounds interesting but it's only given out as an anti-smoking aid in the UK.

 

[ShadowsFall]

I honestly don't know. I've been on quite a few anti-depression and mood stabilizer medications. None of them had any positive impact. 3 of the medications I was on (Depakote, and combination of zyrexa, and lithium) nearly killed me. The diagnosis has changed frequently and I have pretty much given up on therapy and medication. Alot of the doctor's I have seen have a bad habit of prescribing medications that I have told them I have been on and have no effect as well.

 

[wljourney]

26 over the last 10 years.

You have to try a few different classes of meds, some may work, others don't. SSRI/SNRI/MAOI/TCA/Stimulants and Atypical. Then add off-label antipsychotics and therapies like ketamine, rTMS and eventually ECT.

It's a very long and painful road.

In the end, you'll usually get to the point where you are in so much pain that you're willing to try anything to end your suffering. So you give the next drug a try. And the next. And the next. Until they run out of reasonable options.

I hope you don't get to that point and find something along the way that works.

 

[outrider567]

I feel quite unstable and it is hard for me to cope. My depression is bad at the moment.

But since I can't CBT at the moment, I try to not socialize with people, just because I'm scared it might make me manic. I'm just tired of chaos. So this is about to be the third week I've been at my house.

I also play a lot of video games, I've been watching so many movies. Sometimes it's really hard to get the energy to do anything but whenever I do manage to get the energy I try to do it.

At least where I am there is a lot of sunlight. Need that. Play a lot of music. Dance to it, have a lot of physical movement to outwardly express my emotions (dance) I am taking care of my friends cat I pet it a lot. I am also in the arts, so I try to work on my projects. Although it's really hard to be motivated for that.

Eat really healthy. Fresh fish.

In general I feel really empty inside and I feel desensitized from the world so I try to loose contact from it as much as possible.

I hope any of this helps. Sorry if this was a long answer to the question.

Yes, I watch films constantly to pass the time since she died,its been three months---Unlike you,I cannot listen to any music because I would just break out crying--I used to listen to music all the time(mostly from SoundCloud)but I must be in a happy mood to listen to music(which I always was) and I will not be happy again--Still eating healthy

 

[thedaywillcome]

26 over the last 10 years.

You have to try a few different classes of meds, some may work, others don't. SSRI/SNRI/MAOI/TCA/Stimulants and Atypical. Then add off-label antipsychotics and therapies like ketamine, rTMS and eventually ECT.

It's a very long and painful road.

In the end, you'll usually get to the point where you are in so much pain that you're willing to try anything to end your suffering. So you give the next drug a try. And the next. And the next. Until they run out of reasonable options.

I hope you don't get to that point and find something along the way that works.

The pain gets worse over time, correct?

 

[wljourney]

The pain gets worse over time, correct?

It ebbs and flows. Like waves on the beach. Just not as relaxing.

More like a constant drip-drip-drip that hollows a rock.

 

[thedaywillcome]

It ebbs and flows. Like waves on the beach. Just not as relaxing.

More like a constant drip-drip-drip that hollows a rock.

Well said

 

[everhopeless]

Prozac Zoloft trazodone talk therapy ketamine EMDR.

Nothing helps.

 

[Hollowman]

At least 25. What a fool I am.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Never tried meds. Only therapy. It didnt work :/

This., I don't see how meds are going to help me. They'll put me in an artificial state of contentment, but if I can't be genuinely happy with myself and my life, is it really worth living? I don't think so for me at least. What would be the endgame of going on? Be a wage slave and die of old age while having gone through the younger years miserable? No thank you.

 

[may13]

More than I can remember. Currently down to just Klonopin (anxiety) and Sonata (for sleep). The rest have been essentially useless for me.

And lots of therapy. EMDR, PET, CBT… average of 100 sessions a year for the last two years. My insurance company has probably bought a few psychologists new cars.

I'm officially "treatment resistant". So this is as good as it gets.

 

[T90-Alpha]

Ive gone through most of the ADHD meds on the market, nothing has helped me at all

 

[Hollowman]

This., I don't see how meds are going to help me. They'll put me in an artificial state of contentment, but if I can't be genuinely happy with myself and my life, is it really worth living? I don't think so for me at least. What would be the endgame of going on? Be a wage slave and die of old age while having gone through the younger years miserable? No thank you.

That pretty much describes my experience the last three decades. It hasn't been worth it and now I'm a wage slave that'll never be able to retire.

 

[nixdeath]

I've been on many drugs, the only one that worked for me was ritalin for adhd but it didn't make me want to live any more. I still take them because I'm afraid to tell my doctors how much I want to die, so I don't get taken to a psych hospital. Its really silly, isn't it? The way the psychiatric system works. I wish I could withdraw but I kinda have to be in it because of my schizophrenia.

 

[outrider567]

None