How many CTB attempts?

[TheSource]

It seems a lot of us attempted and failed already. I just wanna know what the general amount has been. I think I've made 4 or 5 attempts.

 

[Ashe]

I've failed twice with extreme thoughts of planning a third.

 

[ThisUnrest]

I tried impulsively a couple times and then realized it's not as easy as you think it is. Always have felt driven to it again. Wanted to do it with more planning this summer, but felt too guilty about leaving my sister behind.

 

[lita-lassi]

0 - no attempts, only eventual success for me

 

[abcz]

At one point I kinda got semi addicted to hanging myself. I don't know if I would say that is one or many. Like I was too scared and afraid of pain to pass out but it was enough to make it hard to breath and then I would lie on the floor and I liked how I could feel the air. Besides that, maybe two? One was kinda incomplete so idk and the other was me trying to break my neck with a rock but not knowing anything about that. Actually maybe a third. I dont know if it counts if I completely fail at all of it tbh.

 

[Cloud Busting]

I've had 4 suicide gestures, 1 aborted attempt, and one serious attempt.

Idk how to rank that. 6? 1?

 

[Miss Anthropy]

I have tried multiple times and failed. I cant help but to think of all of the pain i would have been saved from if one of my attempts had only worked. One day i will free myself from this planet.

 

[AllCatsAreGrey]

I've had 4 suicide gestures, 1 aborted attempt, and one serious attempt.

Idk how to rank that. 6? 1?

I'm curious how you would define gestures. I've also had episodes that I wouldn't count as actual attempts. I haven't been able to develop clear language around that, so curious.

 

[Longwalk]

0 - no attempts, only eventual success for me

Me too, 0 attempts but 1st one has to be the only one and successful !!! I have no room for a failure!

 

[Cloud Busting]

I'm curious how you would define gestures. I've also had episodes that I wouldn't count as actual attempts. I haven't been able to develop clear language around that, so curious.

Cry for help. I wouldn't of minded if I died, but if I didn't maybe I'd get the help I'd need.

The suicidal intent wasn't as strong as gesturing I was in pain and needed saving. They were half assed basically.

My aborted attempt, I meant it, but the rope I bought was too thin and I realized I wasn't really comfortable and said fuck it.

My serious attempt? I truly intended to die. Like legit was tired of life and thought it wouldn't fail. Well I'm still here

 

[k1w1]

One previous planned suicide holiday to hit the vets in Mexico. Too complicated and far too much travel. This time nitrogen, well planned, no room for error.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

At least a dozen attempts over the last ~20 years.

 

[Wyldfyre4948]

Once in March and too many to count in July. Tried partial hanging (several times), full hanging (once), and night night (3-4 times). I'm such a fuck up though because my SI always wins.

 

[FuneralCry]

I've never really properly attempted as in my case it isn't like it's straightforward to access peaceful and reliable ways to die, the difficulty of suicide has always kept me trapped here and failing a suicide attempt would be exactly what I fear, it sounds so horrible.

 

[iamsofkntired]

countless attempts with partial hanging or getting everything ready then just not doing it and 3 that was semi serious the first one was when i was about 9 years old where i did full hanging and i started suffocating and all then i had a desk behind me and i just went back on it the next one was about 6 months ago and i tried 30 sleeping pills and nothing happened except i got superrr high and couldn't remember anything from the fist day and the last one was 60 sleeping pills and it almost worked i had 600 grams in my body but my family found me passed out and they woke me up and asked how old i was and i said 4 and that's when they knew i took something so they kept asking me and i didn't say until they found the wrappers and i started having a seizure and my face turned blue then i went to the hospital and stayed for about a week and i couldn't remember anything but my family told me i was hallucinating and all but the doctors said if i wasn't found for another 10 minutes i would have died and still wish i did
countless attempts with partial hanging or getting everything ready then just not doing it and 3 that was semi serious the first one was when i was about 9 years old where i did full hanging and i started suffocating and all then i had a desk behind me and i just went back on it the next one was about 6 months ago and i tried 30 sleeping pills and nothing happened except i got superrr high and couldn't remember anything from the fist day and the last one was 60 sleeping pills and it almost worked i had 600 grams in my body but my family found me passed out and they woke me up and asked how old i was and i said 4 and that's when they knew i took something so they kept asking me and i didn't say until they found the wrappers and i started having a seizure and my face turned blue then i went to the hospital and stayed for about a week and i couldn't remember anything but my family told me i was hallucinating and all but the doctors said if i wasn't found for another 10 minutes i would have died and still wish i did

 

[Rouge4000]

I tried twice but I failed both times. Pro tip od is very unreliable and unrealistic if you plan to ctb

 

[TheSource]

I tried twice but I failed both times. Pro tip od is very unreliable and unrealistic if you plan to ctb

What did you try to OD with? And how much?

 

[GoneFromRevolution]

I've tried to strangle myself with my seatbelt in my car about five times now. Unfortunately, the shit can't get tight enough to knock me unconscious before SI kicks in. It would probably kill, just way too slowly.

 

[sad4dayz]

None so far, but 1 test run with a belt. Haven't figured it out yet but going to experiment more. Ctb is hard! Not as simple as I'd thought. Turns out I'm a wuss for pain so that sucks. Lol

 

[rozeske]

Just once, hopefully it will be the only failed attempt

 

[Ash’Girl]

I couldn't even count them because my young adulthood was full of them. Definitely double digits.

In the past decade I guess only one serious one though - though lots of practice ones, which I can't really classify as a committed / failed attempt.

 

[until death]

1

 

[Abyssal]

It's been a while, and frankly there was a period where I did a few attempts pretty close. It's either 4 or 5.

1. I took 3 aleve at the age of 11(?) and believed I'd die. It's the thought that counts?

2. After that failed I tried 10 aleve and..well..I wasn't exactly the smartest child.

3. I don't remember if this one even exists, but I feel it does. No memory of it.

4. I don't remember when this was but I took my 5 of my adhd medication (methylphenidate) and felt fine? Went to the hospital and drank liquid charcoal which was god awful, that's all I remember. Oh and by drank I mean I spit it all out and not on purpose.

5. I've been contemplating writing a thread about this one. When I was 17, a whole while after the earlier ones, I took 20 of my adhd meds, 54mg each. Was hell coming down from it, but I felt great. All the hospital staff acted like I'd keel over right there, which looking back makes me wonder how serious it truly was. Never found out, but coming down from it after two whole days of being awake was probably the worst thing I've ever gone through.

6ish. Chickened out of partial in June.

 

[reallysleepy]

Once in September. I drank a lot of alcohol, smoked a joint and took a lot of lorazepam. My idea was to pass out with a bag on my head and suffocate but I ended up passing out without the bag
going for inert gas the next time

 

[SMmetalhead36]

1-2. This time I'm going to make it count so I don't have to go through it again.

 

[Pardoe84]

Did someone attempt with SN and failed?