Discussion How many attempts have you made?

[Alain]

Two attempts. I won't even telle the first, there was such a statistical improbability of failure that if I said, nobody would believe it. The second failed because I tried hanging (partially) and I just passed out and woke up later, but I couldn't say if it lasted 10 seconds or 10 minutes.

 

[mediocre]

Only about 3 in the past 6 months. Even though I've been suicidal for the past 15 years I didn't have the knowledge the resources or the physical pain I do now.

 

[Quinlor]

Partial I guess...?

No, it was full suspension in my bedroom closet ... during the new year eve of 2019, I stopped the process when I realized that last thing I would see was the white wall of my room and my university books. Was bad times indeed.

 

[any%]

I attempted twice. Plus one time I accidentally almost killed myself, but no intent. Feels like the third one will be my last if it is going to happen. I just vegetate from morning to evening, then sleep, rinse and repeat for the last years.

 

[Weightoftheworld]

Not enough.
I've made two poorly planned, distressed attempts though; one being trying to OD and the other partial hanging.

 

[Iwantoutrightnow]

Too many times to count unfortunately. I have od'd so many times, maybe they weren't all serious ctb attempts because I have to admit that I do like the feeling when all those pills kick in and the world disappears so maybe I was just looking for that and hoping that it would be enough. I didn't realise how unreliable od is until I found this site last year.

I went to my jump site but was stopped before I was even close enough to jump so I don't think that counts. I had one attempt that got me very close to successfully ctb but obviously I got off a stop too soon

 

[Blue Portal]

I would say I've made 70-80 attempts to kill myself by hanging, wrapping a bag around my head and trying my hands behind my back, going without water for a couple days, detergent suicide, trying to self-induce a heart attack abusing exercise and making myself throw up, trying to jump off a building, threw rocks in coyotes' general directions hoping they would maul me, tried to drown but couldn't actually stay down in the water, abused laxatives hoping my body would go into shock and give myself a heart attack, running in front of cars but they either swerved or hit the brakes just in time-hooooooboy this is a lot. I hate survival instinct-feels bad man. At least I can joke about this in my head to mock myself for being this pathetic.

What have you done? When did you do it?

I think the most times I've ever heard someone attempting is 3 or 4. I feel like an outlier now. Well shit.

Your like a cat with 9 lives and some luck.

Honestly if I were to attempt a suicide I know I'd be successful 99.99 percent of the time, my methods are air tight.

 

[Epsilon0]

Several partial attempts, never lost consciousness. Tried with a tube from the oven (propane gas) into a large garbage bag but the CO2 built up really fast and I hyperventilated, ripped the bag off, it was way too intense. One of the partial attempts was also way too intense due to the position and I aborted.

I get so sad reading this... Life really is unimaginably cruel.

 

[Valsalva]

No, it was full suspension in my bedroom closet ... during the new year eve of 2019, I stopped the process when I realized that last thing I would see was the white wall of my room and my university books. Was bad times indeed.

How could you stop a full suspension?

 

[laserfocus111]

1 attempt at jumping before the police got to me and I got coaxed into chickening out and warded at a psych institution.

It was only weeks later when I realised that I had better chances at an overdose with iv medications due to the nature of my work. Thinking of a benzo lignocaine and fentanyl combination. Still a work in progress.

 

[rhiino]

Two attempts. I won't even telle the first, there was such a statistical improbability of failure that if I said, nobody would believe it. The second failed because I tried hanging (partially) and I just passed out and woke up later, but I couldn't say if it lasted 10 seconds or 10 minutes.

I would still like to hear about the first attempt.

Don't know whether that counts as attempts, but I tried to stab a knife into my heart, did not have the courage in the end and the same goes for an attempt to jump, but the height was way too scary for me, I could barely look down.

 

[Quinlor]

How could you stop a full suspension?

Simple, when I gave up I put my feets back in the closet again.

 

[Wonderland]

I'd say 3 to 4 attempts, I don't know if cutting my wrists count as an attempt or just the need to feel something besides the everyday pain of your soul. Then tried Benzos a couple of times but just ended at the hospital, tried injecting air in my veins, and after the last one I was committed to a kind of mental institution for 3 months. I know the next one will be the definite one, going with N is my dream.. Maybe just waiting the right moment, and by the right moment I mean, very very drunk and in the possession of my elixir:)

 

[Sail_to_Infinity]

threw rocks in coyotes' general directions hoping they would maul me

You made my day xD

 

[ssaaahmo]

You made my day xD

I'm glad! It's fun to laugh at yourself when you do dumb things

 

[kinzokukae]

i haven't bothered to keep count, but far too many for my liking, considering i'm still alive. OD'd once on paracetamol and refused to do it again bc of my emetophobia. tried to starve myself at least ten times on different occasions but i always gave in thanks to the shitty human needs. also tried to dehydrate a few times and i think i could actually be successful, considering i got to two days before chugging a bottle of water.

also tried partial hanging once and will attempt again soon, though i didn't pass out so i'll have to research a little more. tried to hang myself over a door but SI kicked in before i could kick the damn chair away.

possibly my best chance at succeeding would be jumping out of my window, considering i'm fairly high up and i could do it at night so it would take a while to be found, however, despite being able to literally sit upside down on the window frame with my torso hanging down outside, SI refuses to let me jump. it fucking sucks. i could've been gone so, so long ago if SI could just. disappear.

 

[felix]

I would say I've made 70-80 attempts to kill myself by hanging, wrapping a bag around my head and trying my hands behind my back, going without water for a couple days, detergent suicide, trying to self-induce a heart attack abusing exercise and making myself throw up, trying to jump off a building, threw rocks in coyotes' general directions hoping they would maul me, tried to drown but couldn't actually stay down in the water, abused laxatives hoping my body would go into shock and give myself a heart attack, running in front of cars but they either swerved or hit the brakes just in time-hooooooboy this is a lot. I hate survival instinct-feels bad man. At least I can joke about this in my head to mock myself for being this pathetic.

What have you done? When did you do it?

I think the most times I've ever heard someone attempting is 3 or 4. I feel like an outlier now. Well shit.

Have u thought about sn?

 

[faust]

I tried to press my carotid arteries multiple times but that does not count as a suicide attempt, that is merely a curiosity. And I did not manage even to feel dizzy, maybe night-night is not for me...

 

[ssaaahmo]

Have u thought about sn?

I have, but I couldn't risk ordering it because the people I live with are very watchful.

i haven't bothered to keep count, but far too many for my liking, considering i'm still alive. OD'd once on paracetamol and refused to do it again bc of my emetophobia. tried to starve myself at least ten times on different occasions but i always gave in thanks to the shitty human needs. also tried to dehydrate a few times and i think i could actually be successful, considering i got to two days before chugging a bottle of water.

also tried partial hanging once and will attempt again soon, though i didn't pass out so i'll have to research a little more. tried to hang myself over a door but SI kicked in before i could kick the damn chair away.

possibly my best chance at succeeding would be jumping out of my window, considering i'm fairly high up and i could do it at night so it would take a while to be found, however, despite being able to literally sit upside down on the window frame with my torso hanging down outside, SI refuses to let me jump. it fucking sucks. i could've been gone so, so long ago if SI could just. disappear.

The starving and dehydrating can be really difficult. Sorry you had to deal with that.

 

[kinzokukae]

The starving and dehydrating can be really difficult. Sorry you had to deal with that.

yeah, they're not particularly painful but at some point your body just goes into override and next thing you know you're eating half the fridge and downing a litre of water. i've tried my best to suppress the urges but it's near impossible, unfortunately.

 

[azdertex1598]

2 by hanging but it seems hard so i couldn't do it , i prefer cyanide .

 

[CatchingTheBusK]

In total, 3
Once by trying to drown in a lake
Once by drinking bleach
And lately by Partial hanging

 

[mathieu]

1 - Antidepressant overdose
2 - sleeping pills + bathtub
3 - valium overdose
4 - sedative overdose
5 - train (chickened out and dived out of the way)
6 - xanax OD

All very weak attempts so far. I did buy N and SN (not at once) but didn't use them.

 

[Valsalva]

In total, 3
Once by trying to drown in a lake
Once by drinking bleach
And lately by Partial hanging

Why did partial fail?