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Mkeblair

Mkeblair

Member
Aug 12, 2024
32
Hey Everyone!

I used to be VERY active on Ashspace, back in the day. I am so happy to see that a similar platform still exists today (Minus the Chat).

My question is, how many people do you all assume have actually followed through, after posting here? Even back then, you'd see the posts/chats of individuals who were "DONE", however, they would then be back on a day or two later. I am just curious, how many individuals just need someone to talk to, as opposed to those that have legit made up their mind 100%.

I support these individuals either way, and am literally in the same boat, as an American with a bunch of guns and occasionally ready to go, however, I think it's always great for them to hear a voice of reason, maybe? I'm 100% NOT trying to convince anyone otherwise, simply saying "Have you really thought about it before you take that final step that you cannot come back from?".

Please do not take this as me trying to dissuade any individual from doing what they plan on doing, as I honestly support an individuals choice. I am just in that somewhat "Grey Area" myself and on the one hand, I genuinely want to just be done and CTB, while on the other hand, I wonder if things could potentially get better, or if I am being hasty.

I am 40, with my MBA, and recently had a $100k+ career, lost due to lay-off's, along with most likely my severe alcohol addiction. I have been somewhat in this "Mindset" (Asher) for probably 20-30+ years. I'm not 100% sure why. I am now living with my ex-wife, in MY house, as a roommate, unemployed, with her paying all of the bills and providing for me.

I have never really considered anything other than a bullet (as opposed to other methods), while I have (3) handguns, a 12 ga, and an AR-15 sitting within 6 feet of me right now (ya know, as a good ol' American LOL).

I just don't know if I have the "Balls", while I feel that it is what I really want, just a long sleep...

I honestly am not sure what to do, however, just being on here with the rest of you genuinely helps... Sincerely...
 
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jyko

jyko

Here in night city
Aug 13, 2023
37
i saw somewhere that the rate here was around 70% efficacy and it had a bunch of sources to confirm i just cannot remember where i saw it, but it seemed legit. In terms of talking to, i guess if people find their way here its a pretty concentrated chance or people who are more solid in their feelings - ppl dont tend to be kicking around here, esp in the suicide discussion section, without a higher than average will id assume anyway. I must add as a personal note i also have quite a severe alcohol addiction so i empathise with you in that sector, an addiction that really meddles with what reality feels like. Im glad that you feel a sense of community here, its a very "fringe" feeling to constantly have so spaces like this are so key, again parroting you i support everyones choice to do with their life what they please but also i do hope for you that things can get better or you can feel a way to push through; the situation u described is highly unpleasant im sure and im sorry you ended up in that situation but i have hope for you, if its worth a penny
 
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WhiteRabbit

WhiteRabbit

I'm late, i'm late. For a very important date.
Feb 12, 2019
1,723
i saw somewhere that the rate here was around 70% efficacy and it had a bunch of sources to confirm i just cannot remember where i saw it, but it seemed legit
What sources? 70% would be thousand and thousands of people. There's no way. Unless I'm misunderstanding you.

Most people who come to this site don't CTB.
 
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Mkeblair

Mkeblair

Member
Aug 12, 2024
32
@jyko I sincerely appreciate that. Alcoholism is the worst... I would honestly put that shit up against any drug addiction. I am drinking right now, as I type this. It's a nightmare. I always turned to the Ash chat, which was deleted and turned to the "Mibbit" chat space (I'm not super tech smart), however, that has since been shut down as well.

It's crazy that one substance can cause so much damage in an individuals life (I know like Meth, Crack, Heroin, Etc.), however, particularly someone who overcame the obstacles of sexual abuse, parental drug addiction, physical abuse, etc....

I don't see shit getting better before it hits rock bottom, my friend.
 
jyko

jyko

Here in night city
Aug 13, 2023
37
What sources? 70% would be thousand and thousands of people. There's no way. Unless I'm misunderstanding you.

Most people who come to this site don't CTB.
my apologies i misspoke, i meant people who specifically make goodbye threads specifically, ill try and hunt down what i mean. but yeah i dont mean user base, i meant like that small amount that commit to goodbye posts
 

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