thisIsNotEnough
magical girl in the wrong world </3
- Nov 8, 2025
- 15
Throughout my whole life, there has been this (metaphorical) voice, sometimes whispering and sometimes shouting at me that I'm long past my expiration date. It feels similarly to how death is defied in the Final Destination movies and how it always comes back around in unlikely ways to right the world. Only instead of killing me in an elaborate way, it puts me through hell, almost daring me to end my life.
I keep getting these highs where everything seems like it will finally be okay, and then everything crashes down and I'm lower than ever, as if death is torturing me for continuing to live. The perfect torture for a sensitive person who feels like all it will take is one more traumatic experience to push them over the edge.
More to the point, I guess I predict a lot of people on here are in a way suicidal by nature. Almost everyone will at least idly consider suicide after a traumatic event before getting over it, but few people have thought about it for as long as we have, let alone see it as an actual option.
This is supported by the fact that people will be suicidal even when their lives are perfect or otherwise not the worst imaginable. And I've seen a broad spectrum of past traumas and present suffering represented on this forum, yet we all are suicidal. I feel the only explanation is that a certain subset of the population is just predisposed to suicide.
So how long have you known that you will die by suicide someday? And if there was an inciting incident, what was it? I'm curious to see if my prediction holds true :)
I keep getting these highs where everything seems like it will finally be okay, and then everything crashes down and I'm lower than ever, as if death is torturing me for continuing to live. The perfect torture for a sensitive person who feels like all it will take is one more traumatic experience to push them over the edge.
More to the point, I guess I predict a lot of people on here are in a way suicidal by nature. Almost everyone will at least idly consider suicide after a traumatic event before getting over it, but few people have thought about it for as long as we have, let alone see it as an actual option.
This is supported by the fact that people will be suicidal even when their lives are perfect or otherwise not the worst imaginable. And I've seen a broad spectrum of past traumas and present suffering represented on this forum, yet we all are suicidal. I feel the only explanation is that a certain subset of the population is just predisposed to suicide.
So how long have you known that you will die by suicide someday? And if there was an inciting incident, what was it? I'm curious to see if my prediction holds true :)
