how long have you been striving for?

[jussaloser]

im genuinely curious, at what age did you stop enjoying life?

when i was a kid i really liked the idea of getting older.
i would often fantasize how tall ill be and how nice it would be to find first love etc.
sadly my life didnt really go that way.
at some point i stopped enjoying birthdays (i think i was 15).
ive recently turned 22 and im a complete mess.
still shocked i managed to make it this far tho.

 

[アホペンギン]

I expected that i'd have a good life until i was 8 years old, then, everything went downhill. now i'm 18 and im a huge mess as well.

 

[thebookofdisquiet]

11, I'm 21 now.

 

[FuneralCry]

I've never wished to exist and I've never seen anything desirable about existing, existence was never enjoyable in the first place, for me it's a burden and a chore, I see existence itself as being a terrible, unnecessary mistake, I see nothing to be gained by being trapped in this world filled with endless suffering and I could never see a point existence in general. I've always seen non-existence as being the only relief, simply just existing is tiring.