Discussion How long did it take you to realize that "it gets better" is a lie?

[nihilistic_dragon]

I was also indoctrinated by religion but I got out of it pretty quickly. I quickly realised that religion is bullshit. When I was religious, I never relied on god though or thought that god would make things better

Good for you. I, unfortunately, was part of a cult-ish church. I think they basically preyed on people's misery. I was given "prophesies" and shit that at the time sounded totally legit to me and kept me going. It took me a long to realize they ain't coming true lmao. I just get livid every time I think about all the time and energy and potential I wasted being there.

 

[etherealspring]

i knew it the whole time deep down but i still tried to carry on anyway bc of SI

 

[Mr_cat]

I realized it when I hit 30. It doesn't get better. It gets worse.

 

[Tired and Done]

It took 40 years. I had hope for a very long time. But the last 2 years I have realised it will never change. I've had good moments too in this time but I've also had many moments of clarity. It won't really get better. I won't get better. And I don't know how I'll face another 20 years like this. Or 10. Or 5. It's all so precarious. Living on a knife edge all the time. And I am truly so damn tired. Every single day is harder than last and there is just no one in my real life, my real world who can help me. I am alone.

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

It took 40 years. I had hope for a very long time. But the last 2 years I have realised it will never change. I've had good moments too in this time but I've also had many moments of clarity. It won't really get better. I won't get better. And I don't know how I'll face another 20 years like this. Or 10. Or 5. It's all so precarious. Living on a knife edge all the time. And I am truly so damn tired. Every single day is harder than last and there is just no one in my real life, my real world who can help me. I am alone.

I could have written that. Totally hear you. You just get to a point when it's too late. And the tiredness is real. Just so damn tired of having to exist.

 

[overthehill]

For me, a decade or so. After a while, you stop believing the lie that your time will come. I was a late bloomer a decade ago, now I'm just never going to bloom. It's so fucking over. I really want to be dead.

 

[Felodese]

Not sure if I ever truly believed it, even as a kid, but at least back then a lot of problems might have been more easily solved. And if my family hadn't been what they are, and if the mental health care in my country had been better, things might acctually have gotten better for me in my late teens.
But by the time I was in my 20ies it was very obviously not going to get better.

 

[thatisitguy]

Sayings like "things will get better" or "it will be okay" were originally slogans pushed by straight SJW activists onto gay people who were killing themselves left and right. Most people who still say "things will get better" can't even explain what they are saying. I would ask them if they would say that to someone trapped in the WTC on 9/11 or one of those kids who were just shot at Columbine.

 

[Chili]

God, I don't know. I realized too late. I used to hold on hope that things would get better, but that hope never lasts. Even on the infinitely small chance that all my real-world problems are fixed, I am still so mentally beyond repair I do not go a single day without thinking about suicide. I have no idea what it's like to live without suicidal thoughts, and have no chance of happiness unless someone miraculously gifts me a fuck ton of free happy pills

 

[awaitinglove]

This is hard to answer because it's a loop for me. I feel "better" one day and the next day I feel like shit and want to CTB because that "better" was just a lie.

 

[blacksand]

26-29yo

There's a reason so many stars off themselves around that age. The understanding of permeance truly sinks in for you and deep down you truly know it's over. I'm 29 now and even just 4 years ago I was like a bright eyed bushy tailed innocent kid compared to now.

 

[frost_]

This thread worries me because I've just started to lose a little hope the last few years.

 

[Tired and Done]

I could have written that. Totally hear you. You just get to a point when it's too late. And the tiredness is real. Just so damn tired of having to exist.

The tiredness is so very real. I'm exhausted. My mind and my soul and my body. I'm always tired. I wake up tired. Having one single conversation exhausts me. And I still have to work 9 hours a day, 5 days a week. I have totally given up looking after myself, my health. I'm hoping to hasten my natural death. To just have my body give up like my mind has.

 

[DefinitelyReady]

"It gets worse" will never become a common saying due to optimism bias and Pollyanna syndrome

Have you ever even seen Pollyanna? It's a particular belief system... It's not as if it stunts your growth; it's not like Peter Pan syndrome.

 

[tojifushiguro]

For me it was over 30 years. I've had a pretty shitty life and until this day I keep hearing "it gets better" except that I no longer believe it. If anything, it keeps getting worse and worse. How about you, do you still believe this lie?

I don't think it ever gets better. I was gaslighting myself saying the same thing "it gets better" for years until recently i just gave up

 

[M4rii]

I think after 10 years of depression I stopped believing in it. "it will get better" is a very long time, and I don't want to have to wait another 10 years only to be disappointed again

 

[I_am_Lo]

For me it was over 30 years. I've had a pretty shitty life and until this day I keep hearing "it gets better" except that I no longer believe it. If anything, it keeps getting worse and worse. How about you, do you still believe this lie?

when i was told it, ive seen how my families life has gone, it never got better and im convinced mine wont either

 

[emptydreams]

For me it was over 30 years. I've had a pretty shitty life and until this day I keep hearing "it gets better" except that I no longer believe it. If anything, it keeps getting worse and worse. How about you, do you still believe this lie?

no. i believe happiness exists only in the moment. it doesnt "get better." you only find ways to appreciate the time that isn't so heavy.

 

[11April]

I could wait for improvements as long as I wanted until my last hopes collapsed.

 

[timewisemanner]

yeah, I was always taught to keep looking up to the people who made it out, whose lives got better. But after a while, I realized there were far more people who failed and stayed below and weren't shown publicly, they weren't as lucky.