IDK about "it gets better", but there was a period where I kept getting better - smarter, fitter, sharper. While that's happening, life does tend to get better for most of us. Then that stops, and so does the whole "it gets better" part.
But at least career-wise, most of us did experience an "it gets better" period from 2021-early 2023.
I can somewhat relate. There was a time when I was really growing as a person. But even then, when most of the growth was done, something was amiss. I had always been excited about life lessons and learning and growing. But got to the point where I was just so tired of all that and the thought of going through another "life lesson" was exhausting, because while my body and personality were improving, my life wasn't. That was the beginning of me becoming a nihilist. I was religious at the time but couldn't help wondering if life truly has any meaning as that religion claims.
Good question. I'm not sure I've ever thought to myself "that's correct! I just need to struggle on because it gets better!". For most of my life I just completely dismissed or wasn't aware of CTB; I think because I was less cognizant of it even being an option, if that makes sense.
I generally just did things because I was told to or they felt good/right, so my suffering was always just a "right now things suck, man this is terrible, I should change my behavior so it stops happening or something". I either didn't realize or refused to mentally acknowledge that dying could prevent me from suffering in any way ever again and I wasn't really aware at the time how bad things could actually get, let alone that they would most likely continue getting worse indefinitely. I think the only sustained "better" period in my life was maybe 4th-5th grade; no bullying, a few friends, no puberty, pretty much out of SPED, social skills lined up approximately with my peers. Since then, pretty solid downward slide.
I think I know what you mean. When I was a kid, I wasn't suicidal but I was getting depressed because of the toxic environment I was in. But I remember one day I was standing by the window and my mother was just screaming at me hysterically. And I still remember thinking - wtf did you even give birth to me if you're treating me like this? So I screamed back - if you keep shouting at me, I will jump through this window. She screamed that I was welcomed to jump because the devil was waiting for me right down there lmao. And that I would only break my bones because it's only the 3rd floor.
I didn't jump because I knew she was right. Not about the devil part of course but about it being only the 3rd floor. For some time after this, I contemplated going to a tall building and jumping off from the rooftop. But like you said, I don't know if I really considered it a valid option at that time. I think I was just too jaded, to small, too busy trying to survive because that was what everyone was doing, idk.
Like someone else commented here, you really have to hit the rock bottom to decide to ctb. And a 9-yeard old me just hadn't hit it yet. It took so many years for me to finally hit it.
I'm 40 and my life has only been getting worse over the years with no reason to believe things can turn around. The problems just keep stacking up and I'm getting buried deeper and deeper. The likelihood of things improving is diminishing with time. People like to say these things because it sounds good and they think it helps.
Same. There comes a time when it just becomes too late to turn things around. For example, to try to remedy my situation it would literally take several decades. And what is the point when you're not 19 anymore and don't have much time left anyway? And I agree, people just feel like they need to say something so they say some bullshit and feel good about themselves for saying it.
