How long are you waiting

[Echo]

Nope, need to sort out financial affairs and just keep putting that off. Havent hit rock bottom yet and I dont want a welfare check so I'll be ordering sn a couple of weeks before I ctb by that time all sources will probably be gone.

 

[Red.one]

I never had a date set. My suicide attempts were just the peak of a moment.

 

[itsgone2]

Really thought I'd do it four months ago.
Then almost every day since. Many weekends.
Now
Sort of distracted part of today. Now everything crashing back down on me again

It's too much. I beg God for another chance. Please.

 

[Mr.Tristesse]

Too real.

I'll do it before 23.
I'll do it before the next election.
I'll do it once the suicide clause in my life insurance policy runs out.
I'll do it before 25.
.....

It's an unfortunate truth that people can live for decades like that.

I didn't authorize you to write my biography :p.

 

[name2come]

Right now I'm still acquiring the supplies. My partner visits family out of state every month, so my intention is to use one of those windows. Prep work on Friday, take care of it on Saturday, they return Sunday. They have an extended trip in late April I was hoping to be ready for, but I don't think I'm going to make that so now loosely thinking May/June.

I'm worried when I start narrowing in that it will get a lot scarier, but part of me wonders if that anxiety and panic might help me. When I feel most desperate, I feel the most impulsive and I think that might help me push past any SI. But we will see. I resolved to do this just over a year ago, but only became serious about setting even a loose timeframe at the start of the year.

 

[NotSoEnchanted]

I'm waiting until my money runs out/medical bills catch up with me. Just ordered my SN today, so now I feel free to start trying to live life to the fullest until it all comes crashing down. I'm going to max out my credit card, eat lots of good food, and spoil my dog plus spend plenty of time with him

 

[eliapoleon]

Hopefully within a month

 

[Matchaaa]

I had originally planned to leave in May, but now I'm increasingly feeling that things might turn out differently: I used to think I'd leave as soon as I got my SN, but now I'm thinking of leaving before May. And when that date arrives, if I haven't proceed as originally planned, it might put a lot of mental pressure on me and lead to self-doubt. So now I plan to just go with the flow and leave when I feel the time is right:)

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

No, although I'm more passively suicidal than actively. Plus, setting a date just adds more pressure. My thought process is that when it's my time, I'll know it.

 

[Zvetok26]

Right now, I am more passively suicidal. I wouldn't mind dying. But I don't have the energy to be actively planning.

Besides, I've been taking small steps to recovery. Ironically that made my suicide thoughts worsen, because I am now able to see how far behind in life I actually am... I'm already exhausted, so how could I ever achieve something worthwhile?
Plus, I am a horrible person :/ Therefore I avoid interacting with people more than necessary.

 

[alstroemeria55]

I just know I do not want to reach my 40s/50s, especially if I'm just going to continue to be miserable the same way I am now. If life and the world only get worse, it might be sooner than later.

 

[Asya]

I have an opportunity in May to end on a good note away from home. I'm not extremely certain I'll actually go through with it at that time, it feels a little soon emotionally but that's the time I'm shooting for. I would be stupid not to take advantage. If I miss it I guess I'd just do it whenever I felt like it after that.

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

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