deadngoresurgery
Jezebel
- Jan 10, 2026
- 62
I want to kill myself so bad. Over the last few months, they have been extremely troubling due to the relationship between me and this one guy. but hes gone now. unfortunately for us, we are in a group project, but he ended things off with me for real like just today. we both love each other and its clear, but we cant be together, because of my mistakes. i fuck everything up. he loves me, but doenst want to be with me because ive hurt him and hes dealing with a lot. i fucking hate that i did, i regret doing that shit. i genuinely loved him, i wanted to be with him, i wanted to have a future with him too. even his mom knew about me, but damn its never gonna happen. its the ONE thing i fucking want. ONE THING. and i can never have it. im never gonna have it.
it feels so terrible to have one thing you truly want, one thing that makes your life complete, one thing that helped you so much, but you cant have it. and on top of that, its your fault as to why you cant have it, because you fucked up bad. i couldnt even have a last hug or anything, nothing. just left. its all my fault, im a piece of shit and i just want to end it. i hate this shit life. even worse, i keep hoping he'll come back, i have that slight chance of hope, but i know its not gonna happen, so im just gonna keep disappointing myself. i have all his pictures, everything hes ever given me. i dont want him to do the same. it hurts knowing at one point he'll probably move on and find someone better. i hate i couldnt be better for him, i truly didnt deserve him. and it hurts so fucking bad. my chest quite literally physically hurts. i didnt even want to hurt him, but i have my own damn problems that i didnt fix and it seeped into our interactions. it was the last thing i wanted, and it probably is stuck in his mind, and it hurts knowing that. i keep hoping for a message from him, but no, my phone will just have notifications from no one. i genuinely have no one to talk to. no one. i only had him. i just want to end it already but getting the fucking materials to end it is so hard already. SN is what i want to do. ive been distracting myself and ive been cutting my stomach, but damn, i cant do nothing. i want to just die. someone please just kill me, if you have any tips on how to have a painless, quick death, please DM me. please
thank you for reading this, i truly appreciate anyone who does. i hope the rest of you have a great day :)
<3
it feels so terrible to have one thing you truly want, one thing that makes your life complete, one thing that helped you so much, but you cant have it. and on top of that, its your fault as to why you cant have it, because you fucked up bad. i couldnt even have a last hug or anything, nothing. just left. its all my fault, im a piece of shit and i just want to end it. i hate this shit life. even worse, i keep hoping he'll come back, i have that slight chance of hope, but i know its not gonna happen, so im just gonna keep disappointing myself. i have all his pictures, everything hes ever given me. i dont want him to do the same. it hurts knowing at one point he'll probably move on and find someone better. i hate i couldnt be better for him, i truly didnt deserve him. and it hurts so fucking bad. my chest quite literally physically hurts. i didnt even want to hurt him, but i have my own damn problems that i didnt fix and it seeped into our interactions. it was the last thing i wanted, and it probably is stuck in his mind, and it hurts knowing that. i keep hoping for a message from him, but no, my phone will just have notifications from no one. i genuinely have no one to talk to. no one. i only had him. i just want to end it already but getting the fucking materials to end it is so hard already. SN is what i want to do. ive been distracting myself and ive been cutting my stomach, but damn, i cant do nothing. i want to just die. someone please just kill me, if you have any tips on how to have a painless, quick death, please DM me. please
thank you for reading this, i truly appreciate anyone who does. i hope the rest of you have a great day :)
<3
