Discussion How is see things before death

[caliban]

I get more and more comfortable with ending my life. I think it has always been meant for me to end this way. And not in a bad way, i'm yearning for the peace and quiet it will bring to me.

I've misunderstood myself for a long time. I didn't concentrate on my sentimental side. I didn't realize that we shouldn't worry about our responsibililies, since our time is so limited here.

My hope in myself, my surroundings and society has faded. In fact i regret not taking my life earlier. It feels like i'm living in the prologue of a book, that doesn't add anything fundamental to the story, but still tries to make some sense. I've been suicidal for 4 years now and at this point i fell like an overriped fuit that desperatly wants to separte from it's tree.

I'm defeated in the things I see as important in life. And I rather die than have to face this every day. There are people who are living the dream I wanted, and it makes me feel easier. It makes my failure personal and not all of humanity's.

I just can't keep on going, I've became someone I've desperately tried to avoid. Looking back I'm still happy for my life, the experiences and good memeories I got, but I don't have anything to look forward to.

I'm really sorry for all of you who share a similar pain. I think we have to accept our desitiny at the end.

 

[FuneralCry]

I also just wish for some peace as well, in fact peace is truly all I've ever hoped for, but anyway I wish you the best, I hope that you find what you are searching for.

 

[passer-by]

You've described it perfectly. It's actually a bittersweet feeling in the end, I don't regret having been born and going through all I went through, I just wish to never repeat that. I wouldn't mind living another life, but I would need to get an amnesia first, because with my current perspective on life and "knowledge" I just can't see no path ahead to embark upon anymore. "Living in a prologue" is a perfect methapor.

There are people who are living the dream I wanted, and it makes me feel easier. It makes my failure personal and not all of humanity's.

To me this is such an enlightening idea. Thank you for that.
Looking at it as a "whole" instead of one's individual experience. It truly does bring a relief, even though it mostly feels unnatural living this way, as ego is a fundamental part of our structure.