mashiroll
Member
- Jan 5, 2024
- 11
its so hard to succumb to my self hatred when i have people that love me. their words of encouragement gets blocked out by the bubble ive been living in practically my whole life. no matter how many times they beg for me to stay, they swear that they need me around, it never gets through me. it fucks me up bad, because i love them too. i love them, i love my girlfriend that i recently got back with, and whos texting me right now, my friends, my parents (despite it all), my annoying brother, everything. i feel for them so deeply. everybody mentioned here has told me how they genuinely need me in their life, and how they love me no matter what, but i just cant believe it, i psychically cant. i have a plan to relapse in terms of self harm and possibly going through with stabbing/slitting myself, or jumping off my apartment building, but the only thing stopping me is them. i wish their words will either finally reach to me and i would recover or it'll forever be nothing more but a ringing noise in my ear and i could just ctb easily
