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Coffeandamug

Words are quite useless, and so am I.
Oct 22, 2020
161
I have been severely depressed for so long that I don't know anymore. What is it like to have a "normal" life or a normal state of being ? what is it like to say "I'm fine", and actually be fine ?It's a genuine question, I really don't think I know.
 
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LaVieEnRose

LaVieEnRose

Angelic
Jul 23, 2022
4,247
No clue.
 
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UKscotty

Doesn't read PMs
May 20, 2021
2,450
I think a mind at peace. No random thoughts, can just enjoy silence.
 
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Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,279
Like a day at the beach that's overcast and empty. Bliss
 
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findmybridgesocal

Member
Dec 25, 2023
53
I have been severely depressed for so long that I don't know anymore. What is it like to have a "normal" life or a normal state of being ? what is it like to say "I'm fine", and actually be fine ?It's a genuine question, I really don't think I know.
As someone who used to have this regularly: it's nice. It's a combination of tranquility and happiness. No bad thoughts or suffering and just appreciating the small things around you (food, TV, company of others, etc)

If you haven't yet you might be a good candidate for aggressive psychiatric treatment (like electroconvulsive therapy)
 
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pebpebpebpeb

pebpebpebpeb

i have no enemies
Apr 1, 2020
184
i'm not too sure myself, but i do think it's acheivable for you. happiness doesn't have to be longterm. maybe your favorite show has a new episode, or you get to eat a food you like. nobody is ever constantly happy, and don't let anyone try and convince you otherwise.
 
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Ash’Girl

Ash’Girl

Girl, Interrupted
Apr 29, 2022
386
Calm. Safe. Anchored. Peaceful.

Not my natural state of being. In four decades I managed a year of it.

It was at first really alien - to feel genuinely happy. Didn't last long though, but it was precious whilst it did.
 
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EmptyHeaded

EmptyHeaded

Experienced
Jan 24, 2024
230
what is it like to say "I'm fine", and actually be fine ?
I suppose that really depends on the person. Some people are happy almost all the time, but most are in a neutral state of mind. I.e. no "bad" thoughts, but also no "good" thoughts. I know someone who once said that he couldn't ever imagine feeling bad for longer than a few hours. I, for example, don't feel anything at any time. Neither bad nor good. Just complete neutrality all the time. The examples are two extremes though, most people feel neutral most of the time, but are never "stuck" on one emotion. Sometimes sad, sometimes happy. Idk if this makes sense.
 
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broth0100

broth0100

i’m not in the tide i be under it, Jaws
Oct 23, 2023
147
This just made me realize tht i srsly have no idea anymore lmao. Im sure i knew at one point, like when i was a kid or a teen, but i rlly just cant remember now. Been too long i guess
 
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E

Erick

Student
Jan 18, 2024
172
I have been severely depressed for so long that I don't know anymore. What is it like to have a "normal" life or a normal state of being ? what is it like to say "I'm fine", and actually be fine ?It's a genuine question, I really don't think I know.
Last time I felt how it is to be in a normal state, was a year ago. It's a feeling of peace, you feel light and enjoy the small things, you feel happiness listening to music, watching movies, eating, dancing, talking to people, watching videos...
Now in your current state which is the same I am now, everything hurts, nostalgic things like your favorite movies, songs, video games... Cause only pain, because they remind you who you used to be. Only when we are sleeping and dreaming we feel happiness, because in our dreams we are normal again, we are who we used to be. I had a dream today where I was at my former job, talking to a friend I had there, I was happy again and felt that same feeling I used to feel when I was normal. If there's an afterlife, I hope it is like this dream I had, where we are in a normal state forever.
 
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divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Illuminated
Jan 1, 2024
3,268
I suppose that really depends on the person. Some people are happy almost all the time, but most are in a neutral state of mind. I.e. no "bad" thoughts, but also no "good" thoughts. I know someone who once said that he couldn't ever imagine feeling bad for longer than a few hours. I, for example, don't feel anything at any time. Neither bad nor good. Just complete neutrality all the time. The examples are two extremes though, most people feel neutral most of the time, but are never "stuck" on one emotion. Sometimes sad, sometimes happy. Idk if this makes sense.
Just feeling neutral would be amazing
 
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kfad95

kfad95

Member
Mar 2, 2024
60
I felt fine until 6 months ago when I restarted antidepressants for anxiety that wasn't bad and now I've got anhedonia and can't feel the effects of any substance and sexual dysfunction 🥲

Never thought I'd be on a site like this but here I am
 
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LastFlowers

LastFlowers

the haru that can read
Apr 27, 2019
2,170
I think a mind at peace. No random thoughts, can just enjoy silence.
The only time I've felt that to any genuine degree was when I was with my "soul cat" (and basically my child) who I unfortunately had with me for far too brief a period.
Rescued him (in the strictest sense of the word) and socialized him from being feral.
He really saw me as his human mother.

Our song together was literally 'Enjoy the Silence' by Depeche Mode, so it's fitting that you describe achieving a sort of peace in that way.
(He enjoyed staring and pawing at the music video when I showed it to him too.)
Like a day at the beach that's overcast and empty. Bliss
I imagine holding my boy again and settling into sleep amidst a hazy glow of evening sunlight and gentle particles of dust blurring everything around us.

Though I suppose that would be more than "fine".
It would be..happiness.
 
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leavingthesoultrap

leavingthesoultrap

(ᴗ_ ᴗ。)
Nov 25, 2023
1,212
I don't know honestly :(
 
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C

Coffeandamug

Words are quite useless, and so am I.
Oct 22, 2020
161
I suppose that really depends on the person. Some people are happy almost all the time, but most are in a neutral state of mind. I.e. no "bad" thoughts, but also no "good" thoughts. I know someone who once said that he couldn't ever imagine feeling bad for longer than a few hours. I, for example, don't feel anything at any time. Neither bad nor good. Just complete neutrality all the time. The examples are two extremes though, most people feel neutral most of the time, but are never "stuck" on one emotion. Sometimes sad, sometimes happy. Idk if this makes sense.
I don't know if you are here thinking of cbt-ing, but if you feel neutral most of the time, if you don't mind me asking, what are your reasons for cbting (again, assuming that that's why you're here)? Neutrality doesn't seem like a bad state to be in. Is the neutrality a problem ? or is your reason to be here other than internal states of being ?
me neither
As someone who used to have this regularly: it's nice. It's a combination of tranquility and happiness. No bad thoughts or suffering and just appreciating the small things around you (food, TV, company of others, etc)

If you haven't yet you might be a good candidate for aggressive psychiatric treatment (like electroconvulsive therapy)
interesting suggestion, has this worked out for you ?
This just made me realize tht i srsly have no idea anymore lmao. Im sure i knew at one point, like when i was a kid or a teen, but i rlly just cant remember now. Been too long i guess
same feeling, I don't know anymore, it's been too long. I can't even understand the variotions of sadness, to being neutral, to being fine... I woudn't know how it is healthy for them to change without sinking into a painful state of being.
 
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EmptyHeaded

EmptyHeaded

Experienced
Jan 24, 2024
230
I don't know if you are here thinking of cbt-ing, but if you feel neutral most of the time, if you don't mind me asking, what are your reasons for cbting (again, assuming that that's why you're here)? Neutrality doesn't seem like a bad state to be in. Is the neutrality a problem ? or is your reason to be here other than internal states of being ?
The reasons I want to ctb are just me being lazy and life being boring. That aside, being neutral may sound great at first, but for me it really isn't. It's not just that I feel the same most of the time, it's all the time. Gets boring fairly quickly. Nothing makes you happy, and nothing makes you sad. At this point I'd honestly prefer being depressed, just to feel something, as strange as that may sound. It's pretty much:
Pros: feel nothing

Cons: feel nothing
 
_Minsk

_Minsk

death: the cure for life
Dec 9, 2019
1,112
what a crap world where some people suffer so much they forget how it feels to be fine
 
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lastvinter1

Member
May 4, 2023
6
This is how I feel. I just want to relax for at least one night :(
 
The Burning Fool

The Burning Fool

Falling through the abyss of insanity
Sep 12, 2023
289
Being drunk I guess? That's as close as I can get to being fine. Relax, pay attention, sleep better. It just does it for me.
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,177
No idea. I can't comprehend it at all
 
ForgottenAgain

ForgottenAgain

On the rollercoaster of sadness
Oct 17, 2023
986
I used to be happy more than a decade ago. It was feeling neutral most of the time and happy or sad sometimes, but mostly happy or neutral. Uncomfortable or sad times were hard during the moments while they lasted but it all would pass and I would return to feeling neutral and feeling happy when I was doing something I enjoyed. Life was pleasurable then, a nice mix of emotions.
 
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strangelife

strangelife

Specialist
Feb 16, 2024
357
Being fine is wonderful, I miss that time so much.
 
The Schizoid

The Schizoid

Specialist
Oct 24, 2023
306
At times where Ive been ok, it's essentially when your symptoms are not too poweful and you can now be completely immersed in an enjoyable activity and you're nothing thinking about your symptoms and overfocusing on self help or the pain etc.

People who are happy are not concerned that much about self help. Even if they have their routines relating to self help, they're done out of habit and are not thought about, like you don't think about driving.

Being fine in life is when you are just getting out with life and enjoying it reasonably enough. Your life doesn't feel like a problem that needs to be solved anymore, even if problems arise, life itself is no longer the problem.
 

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