I have been severely depressed for so long that I don't know anymore. What is it like to have a "normal" life or a normal state of being ? what is it like to say "I'm fine", and actually be fine ?It's a genuine question, I really don't think I know.
Last time I felt how it is to be in a normal state, was a year ago. It's a feeling of peace, you feel light and enjoy the small things, you feel happiness listening to music, watching movies, eating, dancing, talking to people, watching videos...
Now in your current state which is the same I am now, everything hurts, nostalgic things like your favorite movies, songs, video games... Cause only pain, because they remind you who you used to be. Only when we are sleeping and dreaming we feel happiness, because in our dreams we are normal again, we are who we used to be. I had a dream today where I was at my former job, talking to a friend I had there, I was happy again and felt that same feeling I used to feel when I was normal. If there's an afterlife, I hope it is like this dream I had, where we are in a normal state forever.