How do you spot high IQ individuals?

[noname223]

I am still thinking about the date with this very progressive woman. She texted in a group chat we could meet at a game evening in 2 weeks. I told her I struggle with fatigue at the evening and I am easier stressed. It is complicated she also has some issues with stress/oversensivity to stimuli. One day after the meeting she texted me how much she enjoyed the open conversation. I thanked her back but she never clicked on my reply. (since one week)
I am confused whether she is in a relationship or not she was vague at the meeting. And I wasn't sure about her intentions. Some things might have been red flags. We were extremely open about our traumatas and it was emotionally very intense. In some ways it was a very amazing meeting but also somewhat weird. She is extremely intelligent. And I am pretty sure if she wanted to manipulate me I would not notice it. At least not after the first date.


We had a pretty good and stimulating conversation. It was obvious she was extremely intelligent. She has autism (just as me). It is a long time ago I talked with someone on this level in real life. The borderline woman I met at the beginning of the year was highly gifted too. But I have the feeling this autistic woman was on another level. She told me she studied 3 months for her law exam. She said something like other people study 2 years for the exam but with her ADHD she did not have the concentration for studying. So she did 3 months binge studying and passed the exam somehow. She said maybe this isn't actually good because it isn't sustainable. But she had no other option. Something that's weird in my country you usually study more than 5 years for passing the law exam. Not how she stated 2 years. And she did that in 3 months? Bro, wtf...

When we talked a little bit I pretty early noticed how smart she actually was. However, we are an online autism group. And there was something weird. She barely said anything in the group. I think she introduced herself and had one or two remarks. Not something special. Then there comes an older member of the group, an engineer and asks her whether she is highly gifted. The thing is I didn't notice anything. He just said something like. "The way you behave makes me think that". And I was like, what? Bro, I didn't notice a thing. I always try to posture as smart in such groups. I have a very broad vocabulary in my native language. I am eloquent but not as smart as I pretend to be. I always fear people might see through this. And when I don't notice her intelligence people might see through the charade I play all the time. #impostersyndrom

What do you think?

 

[Lest3]

The smartest people I've ever met vary a lot in personality. I don't really think there's a good way of knowing outside of actually speaking to them in a serious conversation or through actions/accolades.

 

[BrainSplatter]

I am still thinking about the date with this very progressive woman. She texted in a group chat we could meet at a game evening in 2 weeks. I told her I struggle with fatigue at the evening and I am easier stressed. It is complicated she also has some issues with stress/oversensivity to stimuli. One day after the meeting she texted me how much she enjoyed the open conversation. I thanked her back but she never clicked on my reply. (since one week)
I am confused whether she is in a relationship or not she was vague at the meeting. And I wasn't sure about her intentions. Some things might have been red flags. We were extremely open about our traumatas and it was emotionally very intense. In some ways it was a very amazing meeting but also somewhat weird. She is extremely intelligent. And I am pretty sure if she wanted to manipulate me I would not notice it. At least not after the first date.


We had a pretty good and stimulating conversation. It was obvious she was extremely intelligent. She has autism (just as me). It is a long time ago I talked with someone on this level in real life. The borderline woman I met at the beginning of the year was highly gifted too. But I have the feeling this autistic woman was on another level. She told me she studied 3 months for her law exam. She said something like other people study 2 years for the exam but with her ADHD she did not have the concentration for studying. So she did 3 months binge studying and passed the exam somehow. She said maybe this isn't actually good because it isn't sustainable. But she had no other option. Something that's weird in my country you usually study more than 5 years for passing the law exam. Not how she stated 2 years. And she did that in 3 months? Bro, wtf...

When we talked a little bit I pretty early noticed how smart she actually was. However, we are an online autism group. And there was something weird. She barely said anything in the group. I think she introduced herself and had one or two remarks. Not something special. Then there comes an older member of the group, an engineer and asks her whether she is highly gifted. The thing is I didn't notice anything. He just said something like. "The way you behave makes me think that". And I was like, what? Bro, I didn't notice a thing. I always try to posture as smart in such groups. I have a very broad vocabulary in my native language. I am eloquent but not as smart as I pretend to be. I always fear people might see through this. And when I don't notice her intelligence people might see through the charade I play all the time. #impostersyndrom

What do you think?

It's hard to say… idk maybe you're just drawn to her on an intellectual level? Maybe you find her attractive because you both seem to share similar ways of thinking, which could be connected to your autism. Sometimes when two people match intellectually it feels almost surreal like it's too good to be true. Some people might even describe that kind of connection as a 'twin flame'

I think you should ask her directly if she's in a relationship just to avoid any more confusion. From what I've read highly intelligent people can sometimes be less sociable simply because their minds are so active it can be difficult to express everything they're thinking but that can also overlap with how autism works where there's so much happening internally it's hard to make conversation

Intelligence shows up in many different ways. The fact that you're questioning whether you're 'faking it or pretending' is actually proof that you're not. People who lie or pretend don't usually stop to doubt themselves they know exactly what they're doing