Discussion How do you react to yourself in the mirror?

[chernobylmosqut]

Do y'all also feel irrationally violent towards yourself or is it just me?

 

[Chemi]

just disgusted and disappointed for the most part :/

 

[Pluto]

 

[HangMan123]

Do y'all also feel irrationally violent towards yourself or is it just me?

No…not violent. I mainly wince and recoil in terror since I look like something that crept onto earth.

 

[pharma]

Disgust and disappointment

 

[astroproto]

Wondering if anyone here actually feels attractive.

This might not mean much but I think a lot of people judge themselves too harshly. Seen a lot of people look fine and think they're not. Hope I can say the same to everyone here and actually change your mind.

I just know I'm ugly because people have said it before.

 

[vira]

a bit of discomfort. its just strange looking at the same face all my life. not that i hate it, just too familiar. i do find comfort in knowing ill always be the same though. its nice to have myself.

 

[KlMeNw]

Does anyone else have trouble picturing their own face, even after just looking at it in the mirror?

 

[Lady_V]

With a lot of anxiety. Some days I see a cute lady, others (more often) I see an ugly, tired, monster who is and should be unlovable.

 

[Eudaimonic]

Does anyone else have trouble picturing their own face, even after just looking at it in the mirror?

yeah. i can't tell if it's a hypophantasia thing or if it's due to dissociation

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Utter disgust

 

[gunmetalblue11]

Feels exactly like this when I catch a glimpse of myself

 

[littlecutecorpse]

like a few have said, nothing but pure disgust and disappointment. i feel ashamed of how hideous i am from both the inside and out.

 

[darksouls]

I do not own a mirror

 

[i like apple juice!]

i try not to look. on the occasion i brush my teeth, i usually turn around so i don't have to face myself in the mirror. i don't look at myself before i leave the house. when i do catch a glimpse of myself, i'm disgusted. i don't look good at all. i hate when i remember that other people have to look at me. i hate that when they look at me i can't help but think they probably secretly agree with me. i hate feeling like i'm trapped in this body (and can't get out) (sorry it was low hanging fruit)

i don't really feel violent, it's more like a feeling of hopelessness/resignation because i know i can't escape myself. also a little bit of embarrassment from knowing other people have to look at me.

 

[Arvayn]

I hardly look at myself in the mirror. When I do, I feel nothing. I mostly look around for things that I need to take care of in order to avoid receiving complaints and flack from people. I also usually notice something new about my body that I didn't know before...

 

[MissAbyss]

Wondering if anyone here actually feels attractive.

This might not mean much but I think a lot of people judge themselves too harshly. Seen a lot of people look fine and think they're not. Hope I can say the same to everyone here and actually change your mind.

I just know I'm ugly because people have said it before.

Yes, but it took me many years to actually see it for myself, no matter how much the people around me tried to convince me, I was just disgusted with myself due servere low self-esteem and inferiority complex.

Agree, a lot of people judge themselves way too harshly which I always find very sad to hear.

 

[lawlietsph]

i try to avoid my reflection. but mostly disgust, hatred and I just don't understand why do i look like a 70 years old grandma when i'm 29.
i see my balding head, my dark circles, my weirdly shaped skull, my double chin, etc..
if i look at it for a minute i usually start to cry

 

[IncrediblePal]

 

[TooMuch.]

I do my best to ether not look or not acknowledge it

 

[KattinKai!]

Do y'all also feel irrationally violent towards yourself or is it just me?

Confused, repulsed, and unfamiliar

 

[rainatthebusstop]

I don't feel any wrath for my reflection, just pure disgust and violation. It's a similar feeling to getting touched by strangers but for the eyes.

 

[Karera]

I'm not this person.

 

[TooMuch.]

Do y'all also feel irrationally violent towards yourself or is it just me?

100% especially when I get intrusive thoughts

 

[thisIsNotEnough]

Sad. There was light in my eyes for a time and now it's gone again. Maybe not ever coming back
Dysphoric too since I'm trans. I certainly don't feel pretty but I get told I am. If I am it's just a waste of good genetics since I'm killing myself someday
Other times it doesn't feel like me at all. I prefer that
I don't feel angry or disgusted. I just wish I didn't look so depressed. I was so much prettier when I was happy. When there was still light in my eyes

 

[Forever Sleep]

Mostly ugly. Sometimes, not as ugly as I I'm anticipating. I always hate how fat I am and I really am at the moment. I'll always make a judgement on my weight. I'm usually scruffy too but then, I remind myself it doesn't really matter. It's not like I'm trying to impress anyone or, that I'm around many people either. It's only me to take offence at my appearance and I don't much care.

I'm quite good- maybe too good at having compassion for myself too though. I tend to look at how tired I look. Sometimes I look at a mirror really close up at my eyes and feel sorry for all the pain we've gone through. A lot of the time, I'm telling myself I need to rescue us from this life soon. That hopefully, we don't have far to go now.

I love eyes though. Mine aren't my favourite colour or anything but, as a thing on their own, I can appreciate how beautiful and detailed eyes are.

So, I tend to look on all levels really. From the perspective that I don't fit beauty standards. That certain elements are in fact repulsive and embarrassing. To a greater searching as to whether my outer shell reflects my inner struggle. To just sometimes appreciating how pretty eyes are- in general. Not necessarily mine.

 

[TwistedNightmares]

I tend to avoid looking at myself in the mirror, but if I can't avoid it, I feel ugly and a lot of hatred towards myself.

 

[ScaredCutter]

always feel disgusted and ashamed of myself, my biggest insecurity is seeing any part of my body, reflection or not. i look down and away to avoid such reactions but one glimpse and its all over.

 

[BillyBob]

I hate what I see in the mirror that I have not looked at my body for over a month now as I just look fat when I know I am not, but I am now just to scared to and as I hate myself to much that it makes me want to kill myself faster.

 

[Dust_And_Moonlight]

I don't. As in, I try to avoid mirrors, reflections, cameras, etc as much as possible because I genuinely despise how I look. I've got, like, 5 (all taken by family) photos of me from the past decade.

The few times I absolutely have to look in the mirror, I make sure to just get it done as quickly as possible because if I let myself linger I'll find myself in a day-long slump of dysphoria, self-hatred and stress/anger.