I want to get rid of the need for people to know im gone. Not deactivate my accounts not let anyone know not react in any noticeable way. Just how do I control it in the heat of the moment. I dont want anyone to notice im unreachable. I need to make sure no one knows I feel this way.
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lastappleonearth
Слёзы на щеках
- Jun 11, 2026
- 628
I've never told anyone I know in real life tbh, but it's not that easy to suppress. I mean sooner or later ppl are prob gonna notice that something's off
I just don't want anyone to realize I feel bad. I used to be really good at it. No one knew until I tried. But after so many times and being stuck in an abusive relationship where, I felt liek my only way out was killing myself or she told me she'd kill herself, I just have a hard time not deleting things. I do really, really not tell anyone what's really going on anymore. I don't even pray about it anymore. At least I try not to pray about it. But I don't tell anyone I'm suicidal anymore. But I deactivated my accounts and everything the other night because I didn't want anyone to be able to reach me. I vented about it in an old channel I felt like no one would see which was a big mistake but I deleted it. Just felt like I wanted to explain why I was making that decision but I deleted it. The only thing I didnt disable was my discord because if It didn't work, I wouldn't have access to any of my writ8ng anymore. But friend noticed I deactivated things. I don't want anyone to notice I'm not feeling well. I just don't want anyone to know. I'm so embarrassed and I should be.
lastappleonearth
Слёзы на щеках
- Jun 11, 2026
- 628
I can relate in a way, I also had a girl threaten me with killing herself if I did or didn't do sth specific, it's fucked up to do that so someone u supposedly love. I also don't really tell anyone how I feel, so I unfortunately haven't got any advice for you. I just hope it someday gets better for you
telekon
Wizard
- Feb 5, 2025
- 603
just don't say anything... I made the mistake of telling one person that I was suicidal and they called the police on me. I cut that person off and will never tell anyone again.
I dont say anything. I just mean the impulse to close every avenue of contacting me down. Leaving a note. That. I dont want to act sad or upset. I just dont have great control over my emotions. People end finding out im upset.
telekon
Wizard
- Feb 5, 2025
- 603
I mean not everyone deserves access to you. if you want to close every avenue of contact down it's totally up to you... no one should have control over your life and decide you have to talk to. I personally did that, I don't talk to anyone. no one calls anyways but that's because I put out a vibe that I don't like anyone, which is trueSimilar threads
Suicide DiscussionpleaseletmeleaveSuicide DiscussionILOSTHER
