how do you overcome the guilt?

[untildeathdousapart]

I'm really close to my family and they've been always supportive of me, thats why its so hard to actually leave. How do you guys overcome the guilt? I've tried saying to myself that i'd be dead anyway but somehow it isnt too convincing. Same with my dog. My family would care for her but I'd still be scared as to what would happen to her if I'd die.

 

[FuneralCry]

I personally don't see myself as obligated to continue existing, I'm only trapped here as suicide is inaccessible for me, I hate how I was so harmfully burdened with the ability to exist in the first place.

 

[Kit1]

I'm really close to my family and they've been always supportive of me, thats why its so hard to actually leave. How do you guys overcome the guilt? I've tried saying to myself that i'd be dead anyway but somehow

It is a tricky situation to be in and you will find that quite a few of us are still here due to our families. May I ask how old you are please?

 

[greatgooglymoogly]

I'm really close to my family and they've been always supportive of me, thats why its so hard to actually leave. How do you guys overcome the guilt? I've tried saying to myself that i'd be dead anyway but somehow it isnt too convincing. Same with my dog. My family would care for her but I'd still be scared as to what would happen to her if I'd die.

I'm in a similar situation. I really wish I had an answer. I feel really bad about it but I've been trying to isolate myself from my family over the past 6 months or so just so they're on my mind less. Obviously it adds an extra kind of guilt but like at least I have this feeling that fixing that relationship is just another problem to overcome if I stay alive.

 

[chronicsoup]

It's good that you feel guilty and I'd take it as a sign that you should please give it more time and thought to the actions you plan to play out. If you are in a position where you're surrounded by loved ones and close family members, you should try to speak out to them if you have not already done so. It's understandable why it may be hard to do that, however if you truly feel terrible for leaving these people behind, please give it some more thought. You're in a better position than some people and there is no shame in whatever decision you make.

 

[untildeathdousapart]

It's good that you feel guilty and I'd take it as a sign that you should please give it more time and thought to the actions you plan to play out. If you are in a position where you're surrounded by loved ones and close family members, you should try to speak out to them if you have not already done so. It's understandable why it may be hard to do that, however if you truly feel terrible for leaving these people behind, please give it some more thought. You're in a better position than some people and there is no shame in whatever decision you make.

I've talked to my family a lot throughout the past years that ive been heavily struggling but I cant bring myself to tell them that my suicidality is getting worse again because I know they would try to convince me again to go to the psychward (i've been hospitalised multiple times and it's not been necessarily good experiences). There's always this split between me wanting to ctb to stop being a burden but also being scared of putting them in worse situations by doing so - they also have history of mental illness. Thank you a lot for your comment and I'll think about.

 

[ppoyyx]

I'm really close to my family and they've been always supportive of me, thats why its so hard to actually leave. How do you guys overcome the guilt? I've tried saying to myself that i'd be dead anyway but somehow it isnt too convincing. Same with my dog. My family would care for her but I'd still be scared as to what would happen to her if I'd die.

I'm in the same situation as yours, especially for the dog part. I have a young dog and a bunny that i know are in extremely good care with my parents and siblings but i can't stop overthink that doing CBT is a direct meaning of abandoning them (which lowkey is ig ?).
I also am lucky for having somewhat understanding and patient parents who would still support me no matter how bad is my mental health.
So yeah the guilt is very heavy. The simple suicidal thought is barely bearable knowing that meanwhile they all are thinking that i'm slowly healing and got rid of my suicidal urges long ago.

Yet every time i get peaks of despair, it just takes over all my guilt. I'm afraid one day i'll just reach that point i won't even care anymore about them, without feeling the slightest empathy for them. I really want to leave this world but i don't wanna be ""selfish"" to them

 

[chronicsoup]

I've talked to my family a lot throughout the past years that ive been heavily struggling but I cant bring myself to tell them that my suicidality is getting worse again because I know they would try to convince me again to go to the psychward (i've been hospitalised multiple times and it's not been necessarily good experiences). There's always this split between me wanting to ctb to stop being a burden but also being scared of putting them in worse situations by doing so - they also have history of mental illness. Thank you a lot for your comment and I'll think about.

I'm sorry to hear that you have gone through those things, theyre horrible experiences but I hope you understand that it comes from a place of love. All their efforts are done in support of you. It ultimately comes down to the question of "do you want to get better". Them recommending these treatments are not expressions of hatred, disgust, or dislike, it's active participation of your well being, in hopes that you'll come back to them as your self. Seeing that you have individuals around you willing to have these discussions and help your improvement, I seriously advise that you do take some time to think about what you're doing and what you're planning on leaving behind. It's cheesy to say stuff like "it will get better", but with the right support it is very much possible.

Whichever way you choose to continue, I wish you all the best with your struggles and hope you find the peace you need.

 

[untildeathdousapart]

I'm in the same situation as yours, especially for the dog part. I have a young dog and a bunny that i know are in extremely good care with my parents and siblings but i can't stop overthink that doing CBT is a direct meaning of abandoning them (which lowkey is ig ?).
I also am lucky for having somewhat understanding and patient parents who would still support me no matter how bad is my mental health.
So yeah the guilt is very heavy. The simple suicidal thought is barely bearable knowing that meanwhile they all are thinking that i'm slowly healing and got rid of my suicidal urges long ago.

Yet every time i get peaks of despair, it just takes over all my guilt. I'm afraid one day i'll just reach that point i won't even care anymore about them, without feeling the slightest empathy for them. I really want to leave this world but i don't wanna be ""selfish"" to them

i get you, but i doubt we will ever completely lose our empathy towards those who care for us. I doubt, if they are as understanding and patient as you said, they would view you leaving as selfish. Im sorry you have to go through this, it's never easy but dont forget that cbt is a definite and heavy decision. I hope you can find out whats best for you.