how do you know it’s time to go?

[starlessnight]

I miss life before I got sick. Before I started thinking like this. Before I knew too much. Before I cared so much. Before I wanted to die. Before all of this. And that's what I'm scared of. What if I'll miss this time this moment now in the future? What if it only gets worse from here? What if in the future I regret not going now like how right now I regret not going before when I was younger? But then again, what if I regret it when I see "the view from halfway down"?.

 

[LittleCupcake]

What I'm doing is getting the stuff and then waiting untill Im sure everything is fucked then I'll use it.
Its up to you where you see life going and all that, only you can know when leaving is the right time

 

[Z-A]

Unsolvable and unbearable mental or physical pain imo.

 

[brokeandbroken]

I miss life before I got sick. Before I started thinking like this. Before I knew too much. Before I cared so much. Before I wanted to die. Before all of this. And that's what I'm scared of. What if I'll miss this time this moment now in the future? What if it only gets worse from here? What if in the future I regret not going now like how right now I regret not going before when I was younger? But then again, what if I regret it when I see "the view from halfway down"?.

This echoes my own feelings to a large extent. Words cannot express how miserable I am. Words cannot describe how brutal my own self-talk is. I turn 30 in under two weeks. There have been very few times in the last 20 years or so I was happy. I always told myself it will get better and it just hasn't. My future is bleak at best. I have always been at connecting the dots and saying if I do XYZ I have a good future. Those dots don't exist anymore. It just isn't in the cards for me. If I CTB it will be because I have probed and saw no (good) future. I don't recall the last time I was happy it has been so long. I keep waiting for the unexpected to provide me with some relief of my suffering and nothing has.

 

[FuneralCry]

Only the individual knows that after all, it's a personal decision. And if one never ceases to exist on their own terms then death will come eventually no matter what, existing beings are destined for nothing but to die.

 

[pluscat]

Only you can decide what you can tolerate and what you can deal with. I personally began researching methods for when it got bad again and I'm so thankful I did.

 

[starlessnight]

This echoes my own feelings to a large extent. Words cannot express how miserable I am. Words cannot describe how brutal my own self-talk is. I turn 30 in under two weeks. There have been very few times in the last 20 years or so I was happy. I always told myself it will get better and it just hasn't. My future is bleak at best. I have always been at connecting the dots and saying if I do XYZ I have a good future. Those dots don't exist anymore. It just isn't in the cards for me. If I CTB it will be because I have probed and saw no (good) future. I don't recall the last time I was happy it has been so long. I keep waiting for the unexpected to provide me with some relief of my suffering and nothing has.

Sorry to hear you've been suffering for so long. How have you kept going the last 20 years? Do you think there is something waiting for you? If so, are you willing to wait for it?

Only you can decide what you can tolerate and what you can deal with. I personally began researching methods for when it got bad again and I'm so thankful I did.

Sorry, wdym you're thankful you began researching methods?

 

[brokeandbroken]

Sorry to hear you've been suffering for so long. How have you kept going the last 20 years? Do you think there is something waiting for you? If so, are you willing to wait for it?

Depends. Sometimes it's been a person. Sometimes it's I just need to get through X and then finally some relief. Sometimes it's just been it can't get much worse. That said there has never been time like what I've been going through for the last two years. I am also old enough where my youth is rapidly fading. Unlike before there was always a pathway to where I could picture it getting better... Look I have said multiple times on here I don't want to die. That said if my life can't get better and my potential is capped where my future just holds a lot of pain and suffering then CTBing makes sense. CTB is a final act. There isn't an undo button. So verifying my future is as bleak as I think is necessary. If some elusive happiness is coming around the mountain and I miss it because I CTB....

Is there the potential for something to be waiting for me. Whether it is legal help, a second chance to achieve my dreams, partner, or something unexpected sure it probably is possible. Is it likely no far from it. If something is to come yeah I will absolutely wait. It's just riding out a storm. But I don't think there is anything.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Being onthis forum is a good indication. But knowing it's your time and actually doing something about are two completely different things.

 

[steppingoff]

I don't think you will ever know absolutely its the right time. It's a guess

I just prepare myself so I don't have to wait long. I have my kit ready and notes to friends that are delayed until after my death. Links to my stream ready.

Once the time comes, I just want to be able to step up and step off. Thinking too much about it will only allow SI to take hold

 

[ForgottenTomb]

When it is time, you will know. You don't need signs to look out for or a specific period of time for suffering to wait for. The moment arises, you will have a moment of realization and clarity and it will be more than obvious to you that it's time to go and it's time to go for it with no hesitation. This is what I firmly believe. Don't force it in any way, because that's how you will regret ''the view from halfway down''.