I've wanted to ctb today on my birthday but I just panicked at the last second and didn't go through with it. I still feel really attachted to this life despite of it all but recently I took a job which I absolutely hate but there were no other better options and every time I go there my will just dies more and more and I can't imagine going there again next week.
Should I test my SN to give me a little bit of relief to see if it works or should I keep it in the box I bought it in 2 years ago? I also don't want to do it at where I live because I just don't want my family to find me and I wouldn't want to die in this hellhole of a place anyway.
My other worry is that I want to do it out of town in like the forest somewhere and I have like 2 locations where I would do it but I'm worried that the police will somehow track the cameras when I do eventually dissapear.
My main worry is that it will hurt a lot and that the Vogalib I bought will not be enough? I mean I don't even know the dose because everywhere I just see metoclopramide and not Vogalib. I also haven't bought a painkiller but I did buy benzodiazapene a while back but I'm not sure if it is benzo or LSD because the company selling it was buy 1 get 1 free type of thing should I test a little bit? I don't even think it's going to work. Should I just buy a regular OTC pain killer then? Another fear lies there that it wouldn't be strong enough.
I would also love to do it with someone else? Does that sound weird? Like having someone watching over me being my support team but I really truly have no friends yet alone a person willing to be there for me.
Anyway that's all. Thank you to whoever might be reading this.
Should I test my SN to give me a little bit of relief to see if it works or should I keep it in the box I bought it in 2 years ago? I also don't want to do it at where I live because I just don't want my family to find me and I wouldn't want to die in this hellhole of a place anyway.
My other worry is that I want to do it out of town in like the forest somewhere and I have like 2 locations where I would do it but I'm worried that the police will somehow track the cameras when I do eventually dissapear.
My main worry is that it will hurt a lot and that the Vogalib I bought will not be enough? I mean I don't even know the dose because everywhere I just see metoclopramide and not Vogalib. I also haven't bought a painkiller but I did buy benzodiazapene a while back but I'm not sure if it is benzo or LSD because the company selling it was buy 1 get 1 free type of thing should I test a little bit? I don't even think it's going to work. Should I just buy a regular OTC pain killer then? Another fear lies there that it wouldn't be strong enough.
I would also love to do it with someone else? Does that sound weird? Like having someone watching over me being my support team but I really truly have no friends yet alone a person willing to be there for me.
Anyway that's all. Thank you to whoever might be reading this.
