Aleandra Felix
Give me peace or give me death
- Jan 2, 2020
- 39
What are your hobbies? What are some of your non self-destructive coping mechanisms?
Daydreaming staring out the window for hours watching the world go by.
mathieu
Enlightened
- Jun 5, 2019
- 1,090
I play video games a little. I wish I could get more lost in it. It barely holds my attention. I listen to the radio a bit. Radio 4.
I'm trying the 'capture, check and change' process I read about recently from the UK.
Basically it's about trying to recognise your damaging thoughts and halt them before they take root; acknowledging and owning them, changing them if possible but also not feeling bad about them or beholden to them. It's only what you think after all and you can change what you think. (Yes, I know it's not that simple but you have to start somewhere!)
For me, it's a pragmatic decision. Something to give a go rather than continually wishing I wasn't alive. It may not work but it's got to be worth I shot. The real test is going to come when I fall down, as I invariably do, how will I respond then?
Basically it's about trying to recognise your damaging thoughts and halt them before they take root; acknowledging and owning them, changing them if possible but also not feeling bad about them or beholden to them. It's only what you think after all and you can change what you think. (Yes, I know it's not that simple but you have to start somewhere!)
For me, it's a pragmatic decision. Something to give a go rather than continually wishing I wasn't alive. It may not work but it's got to be worth I shot. The real test is going to come when I fall down, as I invariably do, how will I respond then?
Work is the best coping mechanism for me. When I am at work I forget how miserable I am. So, even though I should be on disability, I get myself to work every day because the day I stop doing that that, it all ends for me.
AlexM
To find the outer edge
- Oct 31, 2019
- 125
I try to work, reading, swimming, walking. Honesty that's not easy - to divert attention from thoughts.
I wish I was more like u lol! I'm a lazy type
You and me both! I love nothing more than to do more of nothing!
Though I do wonder if that is one of my problems - the devil making work for idle hands, or whatever the nonsense expression is. Maybe I ought find 'something' to do. All this thinking, it can't be good for me? Can it??
Nah, I'm just lucky I found a job that I like. If I didn't enjoy it, or if I had a horrible boss, I would most assuredly not find the motivation to go there.
Aleandra Felix
Give me peace or give me death
- Jan 2, 2020
- 39
I'm asking mostly because I'm out of ideas. I used to be very curious and to want to try many things. Now, I have no motivation, or desire to do anything. I used to enjoy music, watching movies, cooking, studying; I had interest in several hobbies like drawing, sculpting, sewing... As time passed, everything got so boring to a point it's annoying to do any of these. I just can't stand it. It seems that everyday I lose a little bit of anything that sparked joy.
The only hobby that I managed to keep was reading. It actually distracts me from my shitty life without pissing me off. This and chatting with people. I believe this is because I feel incredibly lonely and abandoned. Listening to stories (fictitious or not) kinda make me feel a part of society, make me feel connected to other people, instead of an outcast. Unfortunately, I'm losing this too. I no longer chat online like I used to. I'm more lonely than ever. I interact with people in real life, but can't build any meaningful, serious relationship. And this loneliness makes me cling on others like my life depend on it.
I have only one person I can call friend. I met him online, never in person. We've been chatting for a year. The problem is that it's not consistent, he answers me as he pleases. I know he has mental issues too. But knowing I'm the only one craving human interaction to the point of desperation saddens me. I also met a dude almost a year ago. We've been seeing each other since then and I don't really know if we're dating or not. The thing is: in the beginning he was super attentive, we spent a lot of time together, he made efforts to reach out to me, but now it seems this is fading too.
I don't know what to do. I don't wanna be clingy. I wanna be busy with other stuffs, let people free and don't emotionally suffocate them with my needs. But it seems almost impossible cause I can't do anything else. I feel so empty, so uninteresting, shallow.
The only hobby that I managed to keep was reading. It actually distracts me from my shitty life without pissing me off. This and chatting with people. I believe this is because I feel incredibly lonely and abandoned. Listening to stories (fictitious or not) kinda make me feel a part of society, make me feel connected to other people, instead of an outcast. Unfortunately, I'm losing this too. I no longer chat online like I used to. I'm more lonely than ever. I interact with people in real life, but can't build any meaningful, serious relationship. And this loneliness makes me cling on others like my life depend on it.
I have only one person I can call friend. I met him online, never in person. We've been chatting for a year. The problem is that it's not consistent, he answers me as he pleases. I know he has mental issues too. But knowing I'm the only one craving human interaction to the point of desperation saddens me. I also met a dude almost a year ago. We've been seeing each other since then and I don't really know if we're dating or not. The thing is: in the beginning he was super attentive, we spent a lot of time together, he made efforts to reach out to me, but now it seems this is fading too.
I don't know what to do. I don't wanna be clingy. I wanna be busy with other stuffs, let people free and don't emotionally suffocate them with my needs. But it seems almost impossible cause I can't do anything else. I feel so empty, so uninteresting, shallow.
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It sounds like you need building up again. You've put your motivation down somewhere and forgotten where. It's not gone forever, you just need to find where you put it.
I was listening to a program on the radio the other day and they mentioned something that might help you - that is, the smallest possible steps. To recover confidence, or break away from fear, you imagine a small step you can take towards your goal. And it can be really small. Really really small.
For example, for you, if you liked drawing as you did, just pick up a drawing pencil. Just hold it, nothing more. Don't draw anything, don't even think about drawing something, just pick up the pencil and hold it. Remember what it feels like. Roll it around between your fingers, perhaps sharpen it. Just do that until you feel like you might want to draw. Then draw a line, or maybe do a bit of shading. Again, don't aim to draw anything, don't expect to draw. Just remember what the pencil felt like.
Or sewing; just pick up a needle. Or take it from its place. Hold it, feel it even. Thread it.
Get the idea? It might take days, it might take weeks. It doesn't matter how long it takes. All you are doing is taking the smallest possible steps towards something.
I'll let you into a secret (which is no longer a secret!) I do it. On here. On this forum. I used to love writing. And, like you, I stopped. My motivation went. I don't know why. But I thought about my smallest possible steps and started to play with words when writing my posts on here. Just changing them around to see what difference it made. Sure, it takes me a long time to write a post (a long time!) but it doesn't matter. I'm not looking to write a book, there is no deadline. Smallest possible steps.
I was listening to a program on the radio the other day and they mentioned something that might help you - that is, the smallest possible steps. To recover confidence, or break away from fear, you imagine a small step you can take towards your goal. And it can be really small. Really really small.
For example, for you, if you liked drawing as you did, just pick up a drawing pencil. Just hold it, nothing more. Don't draw anything, don't even think about drawing something, just pick up the pencil and hold it. Remember what it feels like. Roll it around between your fingers, perhaps sharpen it. Just do that until you feel like you might want to draw. Then draw a line, or maybe do a bit of shading. Again, don't aim to draw anything, don't expect to draw. Just remember what the pencil felt like.
Or sewing; just pick up a needle. Or take it from its place. Hold it, feel it even. Thread it.
Get the idea? It might take days, it might take weeks. It doesn't matter how long it takes. All you are doing is taking the smallest possible steps towards something.
I'll let you into a secret (which is no longer a secret!) I do it. On here. On this forum. I used to love writing. And, like you, I stopped. My motivation went. I don't know why. But I thought about my smallest possible steps and started to play with words when writing my posts on here. Just changing them around to see what difference it made. Sure, it takes me a long time to write a post (a long time!) but it doesn't matter. I'm not looking to write a book, there is no deadline. Smallest possible steps.
TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,723
Sometimes I don't and just fall into a deep depression and anxious hole. For the times that I do, it's usually just pursue my hobbies, play piano, play video games, and watch YT videos and chill.
Used to do crazy and dangerous stuff, get some adrenaline. Week ago i went "crazy". Got psyhosis with delusions, but again it felt so f**in real. This is happening from time to time and lasts a day or two. It really feels real, no matter what i try to say to myself or what others are saying, no matther what i see. First times were hard to control and realize at all. I really messed up. Now i wonder, how some chemistry mix in the brain changes everything. I mean, i'm in that state, i feel it like is real, but i know it is not. It's like feeling pain when shot in a video game, knowing you are in a video game.
That's really tough to feel so lonely I'm so sorry that's how you feel. It can be really hard to foster relationships especially if you are wary of being clingy. I'm isolated through illness and find myself alone. Ironically I've become more gregarious as I've gotten older just through sheer practice.
_milo
Member
- Mar 16, 2019
- 65
I build Gundam models in my spare time. Helps keeps the hands and mind busy.
Soul
gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
- Apr 12, 2019
- 4,704
TheSoulless
I'd like to fly but my wings have been so denied
- Jan 7, 2020
- 1,055
I play several instruments, watch anime and play games casually. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. I often find myself switching from a game to another, starting and closing them.
Not_Quite_Dead_Yet
Student
- Oct 27, 2018
- 134
Buy stuff on Amazon or Ebay...really a bad habit to get into. Realize I am trying to fill some kind of void and it truly does not help, but there is a sort of reward/rush when I hit "Place Order". That must be akin to the high gambling addicts get, though I am too cheap to throw money away gambling.
TheEndof
It's getting dark and it's getting cold
- Dec 31, 2019
- 146
Shower. I shower a lot. It's the only place where I can just forget for a while. I love the feeling of warm water. I used to have actual hobbies but nothing interests me anymore.
Yea I had no idea I'm gonna be so boring one day. Like little interest in everything. I think it's partly because I became bitter about life.
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TheEndof
It's getting dark and it's getting cold
- Dec 31, 2019
- 146
Right? I used to be able to take part in a range of things even when depressed...video games, sports, reading, writing... now I can't even bring myself to make an attempt to do any of these things. Nothing manages to distract me for long enough for me to stay focused.
Aleandra Felix
Give me peace or give me death
- Jan 2, 2020
- 39
Same. During my collapses I used to just sleep a lot and do nothing else. But otherwise I always managed to an average life, go to school, have hobbies and distract myself. Now, I just slided into a numb boredom and I can't get out.
lowres
Scum
- Feb 9, 2019
- 119
I just try to practice and better myself through art and self expression. I like finding niche music and art oddities on youtube. i listen to a lot of letsplays while i do other things. I do like to play video games lots its my favourite medium but sometimes i would consider it self destructive when i do it for days to weeks by myself instead of doing stuff more productive.
I like taking long ass showers, it gives me time to think about random shit and be in my own little space without any distractions. its ruining my skin lately tho because i take 40 minute showers almost every day. people also scold me about my water usage being wasteful but until home water usages % is even remotely as bad the water consumption of the agriculture industry I dont care.
I like taking long ass showers, it gives me time to think about random shit and be in my own little space without any distractions. its ruining my skin lately tho because i take 40 minute showers almost every day. people also scold me about my water usage being wasteful but until home water usages % is even remotely as bad the water consumption of the agriculture industry I dont care.
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Moonicide
ᴘʜᴀꜱᴇꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴏɴ
- Nov 19, 2019
- 802
Talking to strangers on the internet, video games, watching shows, listening to music... For me, when I need to distract I need constant stimulation.
Shero
Experienced
- Dec 19, 2019
- 274
I wrote something similiar in another thread, but stimming and singing. The combination does the work.
I don't have anxious thoughts. I get angry with injustice, research, write, and publish.
Hexen
Student
- Aug 12, 2019
- 135
Chlo
Experienced
- Feb 17, 2019
- 213
