How do you get up the nerve to take your own life

[axab43]

I know this is not easily answered but I am about at the end now. Having lost all my family/99 per cent of people who loved me to bereavement in the past seven years and with physical/mental health extreme difficulties, I don't just want out but really need to. I have SN and have had for a few months.

I just can't get up the nerve. If assisted dying were available, where you just press a button and go, I'd go now. It is too painful to carry on but I can't get up the nerve. How are we supposed to do this? I have about 15 diazepam, though it is old it is probably still ok. Sleeping tablets. I have the correct anti sickness tablets. Just cannot get the nerve to take SN. I don't think I can take much more but am stuck. What do we do then?

 

[NegevChina]

SI is very hard to fight. There was a thread about minimizing it:

Scientific Approach to Understanding SI and Discussion on Tools to Minimze SI Factors

This post aims to provide an educational/informational overview of the various scientific factors that contribute to survival instincts (SI), particularly the innate drive for self-preservation and the automatic responses that arise in the face of harm and danger. While it does not delve into...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[axab43]

SI is very hard to fight. There was a thread about minimizing it:

Scientific Approach to Understanding SI and Discussion on Tools to Minimze SI Factors

This post aims to provide an educational/informational overview of the various scientific factors that contribute to survival instincts (SI), particularly the innate drive for self-preservation and the automatic responses that arise in the face of harm and danger. While it does not delve into...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Thank you. I will read that.

 

[FuneralCry]

I also just wish for a death like pressing a button, I just want to peacefully and painlessly cease existing and never suffer ever again, I'm sorry you have to suffer in this existence. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[iwantmycatback]

You're valid. It's our body's instinct to not want to swallow poison. I'm wishing you peace and confidence in whatever you decide to do,

 

[gothbird]

There is no shame in SI. It can be frustrating, but it is natural. My friends who have been successful have noted using medications and/or drugs such as alcohol or weed to minimize it. I know with my last attempt it was a mixture of being a spiteful decision and a lot of weed. It made me so calm that I didn't care about the number of pills I swallowed. But I know this is not helpful for some people, unfortunately.

Good luck, and I hope that you find peace in whichever form it comes.

 

[searchingforpeace]

Just do it without thinking and pretend it's a game

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

I just don't even know anymore :(

 

[ForeverCaHa]

It's probably only something we can answer in our final moments, and it will be different for each individual. I imagine feelings of desperation, abject misery, existing in extreme physical and/or mental pain could all push someone to make the final move

 

[axab43]

I also just wish for a death like pressing a button, I just want to peacefully and painlessly cease existing and never suffer ever again, I'm sorry you have to suffer in this existence. But anyway I wish you the best.

Thank you, I appreciate that.

Just do it without thinking and pretend it's a game

I would love to but my mind always overthinks it.

There is no shame in SI. It can be frustrating, but it is natural. My friends who have been successful have noted using medications and/or drugs such as alcohol or weed to minimize it. I know with my last attempt it was a mixture of being a spiteful decision and a lot of weed. It made me so calm that I didn't care about the number of pills I swallowed. But I know this is not helpful for some people, unfortunately.

Good luck, and I hope that you find peace in whichever form it comes.

Using alcohol could work with other options but I don't think it would work with SN as it would make vomiting even worse probably

 

[searchingforpeace]

I have thought about ridiculous things like what if you could put Kool aid on the bottle of SN and trick yourself stuff like that

 

[waistcoat]

I have thought about ridiculous things like what if you could put Kool aid on the bottle of SN and trick yourself stuff like that

It is highly recommended to not mix your SN with anything other than the minimum amount of water required. Anything extra will delay the process and increase potential suffering / chance of it not working.

 

[AreWeWinning]

I just can't get up the nerve. If assisted dying were available, where you just press a button and go, I'd go now. It is too painful to carry on but I can't get up the nerve.

I don't think it's about the button... Yor method is your "button". I think, it's about social context. In assisted suicide, you wouldn't be alone, and would have a sense of approval from others. That's what would make it easier.

Even if you had the button, but you were alone, isolated, by yourself, you still wouldn't press it. On the flipside, if it was assisted suicide, and the method was your current method, and not a button, you would still find it easier to go ahead.

This is how I feel about it...

 

[Thomas599]

I approach CTB as a stoic. It is just something that is inevitable. ALL life ends in death. Why shouldn't I be in charge of when that happens? I didn't ask to be born, but I certainly have a say about when I CTB. I try to be unemotional about it.

 

[searchingforpeace]

There must be a way to trick your mind to think you're doing something else right?

 

[Haematemesis]

at my first attempt i was walking in a park and suddenly i decided it's the time. it felt right. i went to buy alcohol and saw people laughing and hugging, it felt warm. i didn't feel a single negative emotion. it just happened for me.