How do you get over the guilt of leaving people with grief?

[intintint]

Hi. I don't think I'm scared of dying atp. I just dont care anymore, everything is sooo tiring and so bleh. I want to die. I don't mind dying. But I feel like I'm forced to keep going for family and friends? Like I'm not allowed to give up, cause it will crush them and they won't understand. I lost a friend, and the pain of grief is so bad and crushes you. I don't want my parents and siblings to go through that, it will ruin their lives. But yet, I still want to die. How do you guys cope with it?

 

[DivineSpark]

At some point I will stop caring......right now, I am still going for sake of friends and family....

 

[SomeoneHelpMe]

I feel the same way. I have been continuing for family, and its sucking the life out of me. I think that some day the pain will be too much or I just wont care anymore.

 

[Doll Steak]

I have that guilt too sometimes, It doesn't really help much unless I'm really deep in despair, but I'll just tell myself it doesn't matter, even if deep down I know it does. Its like once I'm dead, the guilt wont matter, Ill just be gone, without feelings, without guilt, without grief. Its a cruel way to think if I'm being honest with myself, but its just how my brain copes. I can be extremely apathetic when in the depths of depression.

 

[spark]

tbh i've hurt everyone around me, I've told a lot of people about wanting to die and about my attempts, in detail, and i've been constantly just breaking down and making them watch me falling off the deep end and i've made myself and everyone else be stuck in a painful limbo. I feel guilty for all of that but i also know that finally actually dying will but an end to me being a hazard to the ones i love.

 

[NR2BA]

Hi. I don't think I'm scared of dying atp. I just dont care anymore, everything is sooo tiring and so bleh. I want to die. I don't mind dying. But I feel like I'm forced to keep going for family and friends? Like I'm not allowed to give up, cause it will crush them and they won't understand. I lost a friend, and the pain of grief is so bad and crushes you. I don't want my parents and siblings to go through that, it will ruin their lives. But yet, I still want to die. How do you guys cope with it?

I feel you. I lost my beloved brother (and best friend) to suicide in august last year. Since then I've been extremely suicidal myself. I've always hated my life and myself, but now especially. I keep slicing up my arms and I keep hating everything I am, yet - the thought of my mom and dad having to go through all that again, that gives me anxiety. I know that once they're gone, I'm gonna be outta this world for sure. But now I just self medicate with alcohol, drugs and SH. Keep fighting though. <3

 

[alwaysalone]

This is going to sound harsh but I came to the realization I'm not that important to the world. Will there be people who are sad? Yes. Do humans deal with sadness all the time? Yes. I don't feel like I'm so great or so important that I must stay for the betterment of others.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand feeling so tired of it all, I just wish to be gone as well, all I want is to never suffer ever again, the way I see it ceasing to exist is a personal choice and what I see as cruel is forcing people to suffer in this existence against their wishes they never even chose, no matter what I'd just prefer to not exist, I'd never wish for any of this and I always suffer so much from being burdened with this existence where I'm just hoping and waiting to cease existing anyway.

 

[hedezev4]

Guilt is imposed by society to control people's minds. If you look at the problem logically, you did not ask to be created, it is the parents fault (the consequence of their decision). Ctb is simply a way to fix a unfortunate circumstance. However, this does not cancel out the sadness, I feel incredibly sad thinking about how others will feel, but I do not feel guilty. That's just how life is and those are the rules we live by.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

I don't have many people that would grieve me if I were to die. But the way I see it is soul sucking devastating grief won't even last a quarter of the amount of time I could spend living my whole life and being miserable. I know it sounds selfish, but instead of thinking "how could my death affect others", I would think. "How could others love and care affect me and benefit me, could it make my life 10x better?".

 

[soledad.virgen]

when i finally leave it just won't matter to me, and i cant live for the sake of others when my own life is so miserable. they have to realize that and if they don't then so be it, i literally won't be able to care