How do you find peace with dying?

[goodoldnoname923]

I know I can't go on,i know i don't want to go on,i know its not fair for me to go on,I know i will never find true happiness,i know i will continue to hurt people,i know I'm incapable of meaningful change

I have a method that will work and won't fail badly…but it seems the only way i can take action is if its emotionally driven,i can say from the moment i wake up in the morning "i want to die" but by the time i get to the evening I'm basically willing myself too not because i want to live but i need to die and can't find the strength

How do i come to peace with dying? How do I convince myself its ok…i have everyone around me screaming at me not to die…even people i've met from here that seems to only increase my apprehension yet all my circumstances and situations are the same

People say their is a solution and keep convincing me there is but there isn't,i know my own life,mind and needs more than anyone…I can't make people understand i can try but ultimately I can't

Do i need someone to egg me on…not exactly i feel pushing me to do it isn't much different than what i'm doing to myself…all i can think of is triggering those emotions inside of me that make me feel that way…but again that's not easy either

I know i need to do this…and i don't think it's about "readiness" but something else i can't quite put my finger on…and I'm desperately trying to

 

[Elyx]

It's your will to live and since you still hold on to that thread there must be a reason to keep fighting right?

 

[goodoldnoname923]

It's your will to live and since you still hold on to that thread there must be a reason to keep fighting right?

I don't have a will to life anymore though i'm merely existing all the evidence points towards being no reason too and my emotions don't support it either it doesn't make sense…there isn't a reason to keep fighting at all

 

[Elyx]

Look deep within yourself focus and you'll soon find it never give up

 

[lost_ange2211]

Maybe try a rational approach? And no I don't mean wether you want to die or not but what keeps your from dying? Are there things you still want to do? Are there things you still need to do? Are there things you still feel responsible for?

I will write a small list of things that come to my mind that might help preparing and find more peace with the thought of being gone.

- property or things you own (write a will where you mention everything or start thinking about where you want your belongings to go after you're gone)
- last words (think about what you want to tell everyone before you will go, wether it's personally or via a suicide note)
- funeral? (I've seen posts about people even planning their own funeral as they want to leave knowing that everything is taken care of after they are dead)
- open accounts, open payments, debts (also that, maybe clean everything up/ close them, make sure you'll leave them access to the accounts you have or close them in advance)
- make a plan (you don't have to set a date but I know you got a method. Think about how your last day is gonna be, detailed. When you wanna wake up, what's your last meal, what you wanna wear, what you wanna listen to or watch before or while you setting up everything. Just think about every detail, including what's neccisary for your method.)

That's all of what I can think of right now. Good luck!

 

[goodoldnoname923]

Maybe try a rational approach? And no I don't mean wether you want to die or not but what keeps your from dying? Are there things you still want to do? Are there things you still need to do? Are there things you still feel responsible for?

I will write a small list if things that come to my mind that might help preparing and find more peace with the thought of being gone.

- property or things you own (write a will where you mention everything or start thinking about where you want your belongings to go after you're gone)
- last words (think about what you want to tell everyone before you will go, wether it's personally or via a suicide note)
- funeral? (I've seen posts about people even planning their own funeral as they want to leave knowing that everything is taken care of after they are dead)
- open accounts, open payments, debts (also that, maybe clean everything up/ close them, make sure you'll leave them access to the accounts you have or close them in advance)
- make a plan (you don't have to set a date but I know you got a method. Think about how your last day is gonna be, detailed. When you wanna wake up, what's your last meal, what you wanna wear, what you wanna listen to or watch before or while you setting up everything. Just think about every detail, including what's neccisary for your method.)

That's all of what I can think of right now. Good luck!

I think i've already thought about this alot though and i feel i've only given my answers in a way

Fear of failure despite me being confident in my method and don't see this happening but its still there,fear of death somewhat itself but this can be ignored and dismissed given a certain emotional state

And probably many other reasons but i feel given the right emotional state i can negate all these issues

There isn't anything i want to do i guess i want closure with the situation with my friend but thats never really going to happen

I wouldn't know legally how to go about getting a will on my own (especially at short notice and without my parents knowing)

What i say in my final moments to who or whomever will probably come in the moment from the heart when i know its over it'll probably unlock my mind you know

Don't give a shit about my fueral in all honesty would rather not have one

I already have my method as you say but making a date or a set time doesn't really work it would have to be more spontaneous ig like in the moment but I already know what i'm going to fo and such

 

[UKscotty]

Once all avenues of a recovery have been exhausted. Then we are truly without hope.

I think only then can we pass from this world.

 

[lost_ange2211]

Hm okay. Thought organizing your things could give you some sort of closure. Maybe try non the less?

If an official will might not be possible maybe still leave a note on what you would like to happen to your belongings.

The funeral part I can personally agree on never cared really.

The thing is until you are or get into that emotional state your mind will still try to survive obviously. And planning all that stuff or some of it could still help with conscious or subconscious peace to the situation.

(This meant to be a reply to OPs reply to my other reply)

 

[FuneralCry]

There's the fact that everybody's going to die anyway, no matter what happens this temporary, futile existence will disappear into nothingness someday and all will be forgotten about. Regardless of people's feelings death will come, I just see death as so normal and inevitable.

But in my case death is all that comforts me, I'd always prefer to not exist no matter what especially as there is no limit as to how torturous this existence can get that just leads to decay and death anyway, having the ability to exist truly is beyond undesirable and has only ever caused me to suffer.

Ceasing to exist could only be positive to me as it's the one escape from the futile and torturous burden of existing as a human, only the state of non-existence is ideal to me as it's the permanent absence of all harm and suffering.

 

[whitefeather]

I know I can't go on,i know i don't want to go on,i know its not fair for me to go on,I know i will never find true happiness,i know i will continue to hurt people,i know I'm incapable of meaningful change

I have a method that will work and won't fail badly…but it seems the only way i can take action is if its emotionally driven,i can say from the moment i wake up in the morning "i want to die" but by the time i get to the evening I'm basically willing myself too not because i want to live but i need to die and can't find the strength

How do i come to peace with dying? How do I convince myself its ok…i have everyone around me screaming at me not to die…even people i've met from here that seems to only increase my apprehension yet all my circumstances and situations are the same

People say their is a solution and keep convincing me there is but there isn't,i know my own life,mind and needs more than anyone…I can't make people understand i can try but ultimately I can't

Do i need someone to egg me on…not exactly i feel pushing me to do it isn't much different than what i'm doing to myself…all i can think of is triggering those emotions inside of me that make me feel that way…but again that's not easy either

I know i need to do this…and i don't think it's about "readiness" but something else i can't quite put my finger on…and I'm desperately trying to

I know I can't go on,i know i don't want to go on,i know its not fair for me to go on,I know i will never find true happiness,i know i will continue to hurt people,i know I'm incapable of meaningful change

I have a method that will work and won't fail badly…but it seems the only way i can take action is if its emotionally driven,i can say from the moment i wake up in the morning "i want to die" but by the time i get to the evening I'm basically willing myself too not because i want to live but i need to die and can't find the strength

How do i come to peace with dying? How do I convince myself its ok…i have everyone around me screaming at me not to die…even people i've met from here that seems to only increase my apprehension yet all my circumstances and situations are the same

People say their is a solution and keep convincing me there is but there isn't,i know my own life,mind and needs more than anyone…I can't make people understand i can try but ultimately I can't

Do i need someone to egg me on…not exactly i feel pushing me to do it isn't much different than what i'm doing to myself…all i can think of is triggering those emotions inside of me that make me feel that way…but again that's not easy either

I know i need to do this…and i don't think it's about "readiness" but something else i can't quite put my finger on…and I'm desperately trying to

 

[goodoldnoname923]

There's the fact that everybody's going to die anyway, no matter what happens this temporary, futile existence will disappear into nothingness someday and all will be forgotten about. Regardless of people's feelings death will come, I just see death as so normal and inevitable.

But in my case death is all that comforts me, I'd always prefer to not exist no matter what especially as there is no limit as to how torturous this existence can get that just leads to decay and death anyway, having the ability to exist truly is beyond undesirable and has only ever caused me to suffer.

Ceasing to exist could only be positive to me as it's the one escape from the futile and torturous burden of existing as a human, only the state of non-existence is ideal to me as it's the permanent absence of all harm and suffering.

I mean i suppose thats true,your only speeding the inevitable all the same yet it scares me for some reason. Like if you told me that the next time i fell asleep i would never wake up again I'd honestly be a peace with that do what i can in my final moments snd accept it…but for some reason forcing it feels difficult for me

If it's emotionally charged i know i can do it the method is there and failure for me would basically be me waking up but i still struggle to do it

And your not wrong death is inevitable yet people fear it i suppose its the humans want and will to survive i guess