How do you feel when you hear about the suicide of a random person?

[SleepingLessons]

I've recently heard about the suicides of two people just in passing conversation/life. I don't know their names, I only know that they chose to die by train, but I still feel strangely sad and mournful for them. I don't know who they are or what they went through, only that we likely shared similar emotions. It just got me wondering how you guys feel when you hear about the suicide of a stranger, either in the news or by any other source?

 

[inmyhead]

Jealousy, primarily. Because they made it to the other side.

 

[Forever Sleep]

A whole mixture of things really... Mostly questions- what lead them to that point? I wonder how long they had felt like that. I wonder if anyone knew. I wonder if they were lonely and I feel sad about that if they were. I hope they didn't suffer in their method. I feel a sense of sadness for their life. That it was bad enough to make them do that. Then, I think how many of us there are- all struggling on our own lonely pathways. I suppose there's also a sense of relief for them now though- they're at peace. Nothing can hurt them anymore. I also can't help but admire their bravery, resourcefulness and determination. It doesn't seem to be all that easy to kill yourself.

 

[stilhavinightmares]

Jealous, and sad for their loved ones.

 

[loopdaloop]

Curiosity as to what led to it and how they have managed to do it.

 

[OceanBlue]

I often remember the brutality aspect, if someone jumped under the train, drowned themselves in a river, jumped off the cliff - they often don't even give names. It makes me angry that they were denied a peaceful way out, I feel sad they were born, but relieved they will no longer need to suffer. Anger + sadness + a bit of relief. I remember accidental deaths and murders too, these are often much worse.

 

[NoHorizon]

Sadness. I feel a huge surge of empathy when I hear or read about a suicide, with a hint of envy. I also strangely want to know about them, what their story was and what they were like.

 

[FuneralCry]

I envy them so much, they are incredibly fortunate to be unable to suffer for all eternity, and I admire the bravery and courage that they had if the method is something like hanging or the train method, those who manage to ctb in a world where suicide is this difficult certainly are to be envied. Nobody who still exists in this cruel world could ever be fortunate, there is no sadness in death erasing all the suffering, instead the only tragedy lies in the existence of life and how so much endless torment exists here. Suicide is self care, instead what makes me feel sad is the thought of people feeling trapped here with no reliable way to leave, destined to suffer and decay from age.

 

[murmur]

I've felt grief for a few people from this forum, those of which I didnt know personally and barely knew much about, i knew enough though from their posts to assume them to be a diamond in the rough, its a tragedy but this is why people should treat everybody that seems worthwhile with extra heart and respect while they're still here

 

[OceanBlue]

there is no sadness in death erasing all the suffering, instead the only tragedy lies in the existence of life and how so much endless torment exists here. Suicide is self care

The grieving and worry should start when someone is born and shouldn't stop throughout their lives.
As much as I dislike death, it will be the least negative event in the child's life as it brings the end of suffering. So starting to grieve after death is very misguided, it's mostly for the living - the actual person is at peace by then.

We're all backwards - we celebrate births when the child is condemned to death and cry during funerals when the person is relieved from all the suffering/risks. Should really be more of the opposite.

 

[unnormal9]

Lucky. Why I can't I die already?

 

[LeapOfFaith]

Sad because life brought them to that point. But also somewhat relieved that they do not have to endure any more pain.So about the same that I feel for anyone dying from any other illness. Suicide is certainly not the "easy" way out... one has to endure much suffering before even contemplating it. You eventually get to a point where life is scarier than death. The perspective on life is not equal for everybody.. certainly not for a traumatized/depressed individual. Generally speaking people who have not experienced that amount of pain can't relate to that persons decision.. and therefore they think it's deeply tragic. But if they see a deeply sick individual (let say cancer) that has been tormented by a "conventional" illness until the day they died.. most people feel some kind of relief for that persons sake.. when they perish from this life on earth..

 

[buyersremorse]

I don't mean to sound insensitive, but honestly I feel indifferent. I hear about numbers of people dying everyday. It doesn't matter how. All humans die and almost everyone will be reduced to a statistic; it's just how it is. After I commit, I'll become a number. When I hear about someone's suicide it's like hearing about the weather to me. Indifference.

 

[jazzcat]

mostly sad and curious, I wonder if they felt sad and lonely in their final moments or if they felt relieved, and I wonder what they were like when they were alive

 

[hag]

I feel terribly sad if it's the suicide of a child. No child should have that much pain and hopelessness. Then after a bit I get quite angry at whomever caused the child pain, and at whomever was around the child and could have, should have helped them, but didn't.

If it's the suicide is of an adult, I just wish them peace.

 

[stainedtips]

It depends. Usually, I feel the shallowest pain for them. A very empty feeling. I don't know how to describe it, but it feels weird, strangely bad, especially after reading someone's post here and then learning they went along. Although I'm happy they did what they wanted to do, I am sad their life led them to that decision. Other than that twinge of pain it's indifference.

But for one case, one person, I think her name was Eden, she killed herself because her parents sent people to coerce her and forcibly detransition her. I had never seen her tweets before, only her final message showed up on my twitter, but I felt very sad reading what her family caused. Seeing her name or emojis commemorating her in handles/on news articles made me very sad

 

[leftdreaming]

Distress

Hits too close to home, can't handle it

 

[Mors]

Initially I'm jealous that it wasn't me, then I'm sad that they were miserable enough to do it.

 

[EndJstifiesTheMeans]

Sad and jealous

 

[Zaphkiel]

I feel nothing about it, to be honest
Or, at most, some sort of comfort knowing i'm not alone thinking about it, that i'm not an alien.

 

[macrocosm]

Empathy; yes; some sorrow; yes; but mostly I have mad respect. Such a courageous and noble thing to do (assuming there's no harm of others)

 

[Ambivalent1]

Ctb feels easier when I hear such news. I've screenshot news stories that include a picture and a bit about their life. It gives me courage. I will think about people who've jumped on my final day.

 

[hipsnake]

Empathy and emptiness usually..first empathy and then I can't help but feel empty towards the situation since it has already been done.

 

[ayaneechan]

When I read about suicide of strangers, I'm usually envy about
Maybe I'm a bad person to be like this

 

[whatevs]

Mostly that it doesn't shock me that they wanted it to end.

 

[Kerrtu]

Sad because life brought them to that point. But also somewhat relieved that they do not have to endure any more pain.So about the same that I feel for anyone dying from any other illness. Suicide is certainly not the "easy" way out... one has to endure much suffering before even contemplating it. You eventually get to a point where life is scarier than death. The perspective on life is not equal for everybody.. certainly not for a traumatized/depressed individual. Generally speaking people who have not experienced that amount of pain can't relate to that persons decision.. and therefore they think it's deeply tragic. But if they see a deeply sick individual (let say cancer) that has been tormented by a "conventional" illness until the day they died.. most people feel some kind of relief for that persons sake.. when they perish from this life on earth..

I wonder if the person who coined the term "suicide is the easy way out" ever attempted. I think not; as you said, and many here can attest to, suicide certainly is not the "easy way out."

If only it were…this nightmare would've been over a long time ago. For me, anyway.

Ctb feels easier when I hear such news. I've screenshot news stories that include a picture and a bit about their life. It gives me courage. I will think about people who've jumped on my final day.

Jump stories have me feeling like ok, they were able to do it and succeeded. They make me feel like it's something I could do if all else failed. There are times when I find jumping to be the best option, despite having SN.

I went to HS with a guy who eventually jumped from the top level of a car park - I don't know if he ran for it or just walked up to the edge and jumped, but he succeeded and didn't land on anyone or anything except the pavement.

 

[outrider567]

Mostly curious as to what drove them to do it

 

[Blue_mist]

I search for random people or celebrities who committed suicide almost every night before bed because it gives me the feeling of not being alone with my long term Suicidality

 

[Rob1984]

I feel sad for them. Majority of people who ctb were mistreated and abused in their lives. Life is hard enough as it is... I don't know why humans make life harder for others when it is so unnecessary and irrational. A lot of people here are saying they feel jealous. I guess I am the outlier b/c I do not feel jealous or envious of someone who ctbs. To me, it's a reflection of how much pain they endured in life, and that it drove them to their absolute breaking point. Obviously I am still alive, which means I have not reached my breaking point. I don't look forward to the events that lead me to my breaking point if I ever do ctb. That translates to more suffering on top of what I currently deal with. No thank you.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I feel sad that life has brought them to that point, but I can certainly empathize with them. It doesn't surprise me, though, as this is just such a shitty world and so unfair for far too many people. In regard to the two people the OP mentions, I feel particularly bad for them that they had to choose such a difficult way in order to find their peace.