how do you feel about having 30+ years old and never had the chance to be in a relationship with a woman/man?

[NothingElseMatters]

feel free to answer if you are in the same spot as me. i feel so lost

 

[rs929]

You can be even more miseranle after being dumped by who you think it's the love of your life. Most relationships end, sooner than later.
I wouldn't rely on a partner or spouse in order to be happy.

Your feelings are valid, I'm just saying, the grass is not always greener on the other side

 

[Rational man]

Did something prevent you from having ' chance' . ?! I mean every encounter with another man or woman brings potential chance!

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

As someone who did the opposite I wish I had not wasted the time.

Years wasted. Much better screwing around

Modern long term relationships are a dumpster fire and should be avoided

 

[noname223]

I had little chances. But my psychosis and paranoia sometimes my mania ruined everything. One woman rejected me probably because I am (socially) a weirdo. I try to work against that. I try to improve. But in the end I cannot make anything about it. I hate it when people recognize I am mentally ill. (or at least that something is off with me.)
I had little chances. However my illnesses seem to prevent any success. I often become paranoid when chatting. This happened more than once. Damn this makes me so sad. and embarassed. I dream naive dreams to find a gf. But I am way too scared to approach a woman. She would have to make the first step. One girl even made that. But then mania happened and all this other bullshit. Fuck my life...

I think my illnesses make it almost impossible to find a partner.

 

[absoluteanimal1]

I am in the same situation.

 

[Teas]

I think Im around 26 years old but I definitely dont see myself being loved by anyone considering Im miserable and tired all the time

 

[markimobzzdeasui]

I am 29 and never been in a relationship or even tried to.And I will never be able to as well. Was too much busy surviving the traumas and abuses. Life long gifts of toxic shame,self hatred and abandonment wound didn't make it easier as well. I have just accepted my miserableness and now I am ready to end it.

 

[narval]

I've always been alone in that aspect. sometimes I think it would be nice to have a partner and so. then I think about how I am, how much I dislike dealing with people (hello to my antisocial aspect) and my miserable current situation and i feel peace for not deal/worry about partners and so.

Sumarizing: perhaps in a rainbow world, right here right now i'm better alone. i don't care wathever people and society sais

 

[Pointless life]

I guess I was one of the lucky ppl managing to find someone had kids and got engaged. Fast forward 2 years were now split up I'm battling for shared custody of the kids and completely mentally drained and suicidal from the things this woman has said and done. Iv come to realise now I'd die alone, if it weren't for my children I wish I never got involved in a relationship.

 

[Superdeterminist]

I'm not 30, but getting close. And the feeling is horrible.

 

[Looooser]

I married my high school sweetheart, had a kid, divorced shortly after. The divorce still gives me nightmares and I've been broken ever since. I'm almost 50 now been single for 20+ years. Relationships are nice sometimes but do is bring single. I guess I'm sorry you've never felt that kind of love but I'm glad you've never felt that kind of pain either.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

I'm a loner, and to be alone is suffering, but when I'm around other people I suffer too, because it exhausts me. Can't win.

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

After a surprisingly short while, I stopped giving a fuck.
Admittedly, my brain is fucked up, so when that question came, I thought about it for roughly an hour.
I'm fucked from all directions. Even if someone does decide to want me to adopt them despite being fucked financially and materialistically, I'd be more of a burden to them than they are to me.
In my specific case, I no longer give a fuck about that.

 

[raghu1977]

Im just done with a 10 year marriage (12 year relationship).

Pretty much gave my house and earnings for the last 10 years to the ex. And im actually happy that im free from her now

I would be happy to switch places with you bro.

30 years old, single, in good health (i hope) - I would be hitting every strip club in town!

Right now - I'm 44, single, shitty health - im still having the time of my life visiting strip clubs and massage parlors whenever my health allows. My plan is to blow as much money as I can on recreational pharmaceuticals, strippers and hookers before I ctb

Shallow. I know

 

[Sakura94]

As far as societal expectation it isn't important.
I haven't really left my home since pandemic.
I guess it might make me feel more human but the bar is so low currently.

 

[odradek]

Then feminism, porn, drugs, and all that began crumbling the foundations of society.

Bro come on. Feminism? If women not being chattel anymore and gaining rights "crumbles the foundation of society" that says a lot about you. Drugs have been around forever, society still made it to this point somehow. "And all that" I can't really speak to... This is such an ahistorical take. Also other adjectives but I digress...

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

While the idea of having a relationship can seem like the best possible future because of companionship, sex, and all of that, the reality is that the odds of it ending with wanting to kill yourself have never been higher. They've been screwing up the kids so badly for the past decades that a huge percentage of people out there have no idea how to be in a functional relationship.

"How to relate" used to be institutional knowledge up through the 60s or so. Then feminism, porn, drugs, and all that began crumbling the foundations of society. People who've successfully avoided the corruption are called unicorns because they're (almost) legitimately as rare. It's still possible to create a good relationship, but both of you will need to have extraordinary skills to navigate the pitfalls. Even then, not only will society not help, it will actively seek to destroy any closeness and harmony you've achieved.

This isn't meant to be super discouraging, but more as a caution. Good luck out there.

Great post.

Earlier in life I realized the traditional path followed by elders is just not viable in todays times. 50 year anniversaries might be one in a million in the future

 

[Capsicum_Corral]

Bro come on. Feminism? If women not being chattel anymore and gaining rights "crumbles the foundation of society" that says a lot about you. Drugs have been around forever, society still made it to this point somehow. "And all that" I can't really speak to... This is such an ahistorical take. Also other adjectives but I digress...

Yes. What it says about me in particular is that I'm observant, and have taken note of the changes our society has gone though.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Yes. What it says about me in particular is that I'm observant, and have taken note of the changes our society has gone though.

Feminism is a trigger word for many I think.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

Yes. What it says about me in particular is that I'm observant, and have taken note of the changes our society has gone though.

You think women were better off when we couldn't even have our own bank accounts?

 

[noaccount]

Yes. What it says about me in particular is that I'm observant, and have taken note of the changes our society has gone though.

You want. A woman as property. You observe their struggles for human fucking rights and you don't like it.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

You want. A woman as property. You observe their struggles for human fucking rights and you don't like it. You are a trash fire.

Just a heads up: there is no such thing as human rights . Just because some folks sat down after a major war and declared such a thing doesn't mean that it exists .

Even the institution responsible for the idea of human rights doesn't believe in it

I'm not criticizing you for saying maybe the guy wants a woman as property . Just criticizing the idea of human rights , which is one of the most fake concepts ever invented. You have a right to what the universe dishes out to you and nothing more .

 

[Capsicum_Corral]

Feminism is a trigger word for many I think.

Yes, I've watched that process develop. Back when society functioned, "being triggered" was not a thing.

 

[odradek]

Yes. What it says about me in particular is that I'm observant, and have taken note of the changes our society has gone though.

I shouldn't have made a comment about you personally, although it's telling that's all you cared to address. Care to address anything else I said? Drugs and women's rights/equality has crumbled the foundations of society explain, I'm curious.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

I shouldn't have made a comment about you personally, although it's telling that's all you cared to address. Care to address anything else I said? Drugs and women's rights/equality has crumbled the foundations of society explain, I'm curious.

I won't comment on womens rights because I'm more sympathetic to that position.

As far as drugs, they ruin nations. This is well documented. The British fought literal wars to foist opium on the Chinese and now the Chinese are involved big time in the drug trade in the USA.

If you look at some of the highest IQ and richest nations most of them do not tolerate drugs well or have a big problem with illegal drug use. USA is an exception but in our large nation we have a lot of wheat and a lot of chaff as well

 

[WhiteRabbit]

Objectively, yes.

Explain?

 

[Capsicum_Corral]

You want. A woman as property. You observe their struggles for human fucking rights and you don't like it. You are a trash fire.

I do? Where are you getting this claim?

I shouldn't have made a comment about you personally, although it's telling that's all you cared to address. Care to address anything else I said? Drugs and women's rights/equality has crumbled the foundations of society explain, I'm curious.

While I strive for as accurate perceptions of reality as possible, I don't find arguing and debating very appealing. This process has been the subject of research, articles, and books for many years. Tbf, the promoters control most media, so it's harder to find counter-arguments on their platforms.

 

[odradek]

I won't comment on womens rights because I'm more sympathetic to that position.

Lol. Maybe you should.

As far as drugs, they ruin nations. This is well documented. The British fought literal wars to foist opium on the Chinese and now the Chinese are involved big time in the drug trade in the USA.

If you look at some of the highest IQ and richest nations most of them do not tolerate drugs well or have a big problem with illegal drug use. USA is an exception but in our large nation we have a lot of wheat and a lot of chaff as well

China seemingly still has a society, foundations thoroughly uncrumbled. I think you're missing my point in an attempted "gotcha" so please consider me got. I don't want to debate whether "drugs are bad" m'kay?

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Lol. Maybe you should.



China seemingly still has a society, foundations thoroughly uncrumbled. I think you're missing my point in an attempted "gotcha" so please consider me got. I don't want to debate whether "drugs are bad" m'kay?

Yeh, about chinas functioning society. Mao killed the drug dealers . Like all of them.


"The Mao Zedong government is generally credited with eradicating both consumption and production of opium during the 1950susing unrestrained repression and social reform. Ten million addicts were forced into compulsory treatment, dealers were executed, and opium-producing regions were planted with new crops."

The CCP knew drugs had done such a number on their country that they were willing to democide to get rid of them .

Sorry, gotcha !