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G

Gabbi_Station

Member
Jul 30, 2024
35
I think this is the hardest thought to deal with anymore- I constantly think about how I could get hit by a train commuting or something… and no one would care.

My father remarried and is more or less completely out of my life. My mother is died when I was a teenager. My siblings don't care. All my friendships have been shallow and inevitably they all abandoned me when I was struggling.

I just wonder what is the point in living when no one will really miss you when you're gone anyway?
 
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Reactions: Message In A Bottle, dontwakemeup, niceday and 7 others
oxydd

oxydd

Member
Jun 17, 2025
5
I would rather be completely forgotten when I'm gone why be mourned when they never cared
 
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Reactions: Mateira, MercenariesofMidgar, darksouls and 1 other person
cemeteryismyhome

cemeteryismyhome

Wizard
Mar 15, 2025
625
It used to make me sad to think about, but now I don't care and it's a relief. I expect no more than 5 people at my funeral, include "necessary" attendees such as spouse and grown children. Maybe 5. I don't want to be seen or cared about.
 
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Reactions: Mateira, ginko0, dontwakemeup and 4 others
C

CatLvr

Enlightened
Aug 1, 2024
1,332
Like @cemeteryismyhome I just don't care anymore. Except I have told the one and only person in this world that does care for me I don't want a funeral, memorial, any other kinda bullshit thing that society says you have to have to "honor" someone on their passing.
 
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Reactions: dontwakemeup, grauzone, darksouls and 1 other person
H

Hollowman

Empty
Dec 14, 2021
1,749
Well one person really does care about me, my mom. When she goes I'm done
If I can wait that long.
 
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Reactions: ginko0, grauzone, darksouls and 1 other person
locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
8,834
That's my reality. Don't have anyone anymore. Everyone who did love me died. I'm the literal last one left out of my small-ish family. You just do what you can do to distract yourself and try not to think about it much. What else can you do? Crying all the time doesn't fix anything.
 
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Reactions: repeat., dontwakemeup, gottacheckout and 1 other person
B

brokeandbroken

Enlightened
Apr 18, 2023
1,179
I think this is the hardest thought to deal with anymore- I constantly think about how I could get hit by a train commuting or something… and no one would care.

My father remarried and is more or less completely out of my life. My mother is died when I was a teenager. My siblings don't care. All my friendships have been shallow and inevitably they all abandoned me when I was struggling.

I just wonder what is the point in living when no one will really miss you when you're gone anyway?
Yeah this is my story. I was in medical school studying to be an oncologist. Presented original work at conference even president of the oncology research group. I was the victim of crimes by a very corrupt university which I can prove. Like a switched was flipped. My entire family, whatever my social network was, essentially every single person I knew in a blink gone. Not because again I did anything wrong just because i guess the calculation for whatever value i was to them suddenly was gone so was their love. I didnt do anything wrong. Wasn't even accused of it. Just forced to pursue legal recourse for crimes committed against me that forced me out of the university in good standing. In a blink everything was gone. Id be lying if I said it didnt change the way I see people.
 
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darksouls

darksouls

Mage
May 10, 2025
543
genes are absolutely overrated
for me
this planet is my mother
she is kind and gives us everything
I expect nothing from people
 
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gottacheckout

gottacheckout

Experienced
May 20, 2025
217
That's my reality. Don't have anyone anymore. Everyone who did love me died. I'm the literal last one left out of my small-ish family. You just do what you can do to distract yourself and try not to think about it much. What else can you do? Crying all the time doesn't fix anything.

That's where I am. Family all dead. Sabotaging any friendships. Just me, 2 cats and a dog.
 
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Reactions: locked*n*loaded
turbomightbegone

turbomightbegone

🎣
Nov 13, 2023
191
escapism via games and spacing out. it used to be art aswell but now that only makes stuff far worse
 
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Reactions: Kadaver and makebelieve
TheLastGreySky

TheLastGreySky

Wizard
Nov 24, 2023
619
I think this is the hardest thought to deal with anymore- I constantly think about how I could get hit by a train commuting or something… and no one would care.

My father remarried and is more or less completely out of my life. My mother is died when I was a teenager. My siblings don't care. All my friendships have been shallow and inevitably they all abandoned me when I was struggling.

I just wonder what is the point in living when no one will really miss you when you're gone anyway?
I love with my whole heart, and yet if a woman loses interest I'm considering selfish for wanting her to stay and tough things out.

The fact is this is a shallow world and it's not about right or wrong, but people take sides.
I say this because finding real love is hard,
And I can't honestly tell you it will last forever if it comes. But, I will tell you this...

You are worth more than every star in the sky.
One day a man would love to call you his world.
One day (should you desire so) little children will call you mama.

But... You won't know what heaven looks like until you've been permanently scarred by the fires of hell. And that's the cruel reality. 90% of people don't care, and out of that 90% of people most of them will pretend to care to try to sleep with you or get something out of you.

And this isn't some issue exclusive to women.
I've had women "love me" for my body or because I was a meal ticket. That's just how it is.
But you're stronger than you realize.
Thanks for reading.
 
F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
12,096
For me, a handful of people do care. In my case, it's more having to acknowledge that no one can help me, no matter how much they care. It's life itself and all that it entails that burdens me. Sad to say but, their 'love' is more of a tether than a support. They are the obstacle between me and peace. (Hopefully.) Which- actually isn't a loving act at all. It's a selfish need to keep me here so that they don't have to suffer.
 
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locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
8,834
That's where I am. Family all dead. Sabotaging any friendships. Just me, 2 cats and a dog.
I didn't really sabotage my friendships. The few I had dissolved on their own years ago. A couple I purposely just ended years ago because they were just plain toxic. I haven't had friends in years. But, I did have family until, well........you know. You're 2 cats and a dog ahead of me. I just don't want to get any pets, especially now, because it's just going to complicate things when the time comes, and I don't want to deal with more heartbreak, anyway, when one of them dies. Been through that. It sucks. I will say that with all family gone, it's kind of surreal not having anyone in the world who truly loved me, and vice versa. I mean I had that love for about 55 years of my life and then, poof, it's all gone. It is what it is. There's nothing I can do to change it.

I'm sorry you're in the same situation. Life sure can be very cruel at times.
 
D

dontwakemeup

Wizard
Nov 11, 2024
687
I have 1 person who loves me but not sure if it's really love or this person needs me. No family, 2 barely friends. I get very lonely. The holidays are difficult, as I have to listen to everyone's exciting plans I'll never feel or felt. Sometimes I cry and release and keep going. There is nothing I can do about it. If I try to explain this to people, they can listen but never understand. I'll just be happy when I can finally sleep forever. I just don't understand why I'm stuck here miserable and alone.
 
Message In A Bottle

Message In A Bottle

📜 Just me, myself, and I
Apr 1, 2022
382
It used to bother me, but now I'm more numb to the feeling. And I guess I don't objectively have no one…my family will miss me - but I wonder if it's more so they'll miss what I can provide for them rather than me as a person.
 
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D

dearlydeparted44

Member
May 21, 2025
59
I just accept that as truth. I look at who people do miss and what they remember, and I honestly couldn't care less about how I'm remembered or who will miss me. That's letting my ego get the best of me. I don't want to be remembered. I don't want to be missed. I don't want a funeral or nothing of the sort. I'm not Martin Luther King, Jr. I didn't transform the world in a better way. I guess he didn't either, but he did a lot of work to try at least. I helped where I could. I treated people kindly. I didn't hurt anyone intentionally. I didn't oppress or exploit anyone. I had some fun. To me, that's all I can do. I did the best I could with what life gave me.

Being concerned with what people think is always a bottomless pit of self-pity and misery. I have genuine people in my life, and when I ctb, my hope is that they aren't too distraught over my decision and that they go on in life and thrive as much as they can in this new and very disastrous world. Plus, I'd only be concerned about this kind of stuff if I was unserious about ctb, and I was just looking for attention. In that case, no one SHOULD care about me. I would need to get over myself.
 
JesiBel

JesiBel

protoTYPE:4rp14
Dec 5, 2024
683
Well, it's always been like that. I had to do everything on my own, spending the worst moments alone without anyone to talk to.

What pisses me off is the hypocrisy. Everyone wants to seem caring and concerned when you're finally dead. When in life, no one cares about your existence. That's why I hate funerals.

In any case, my conscience is clear; I've been there for everyone when they needed me. I don't like appearances or empty words. Only actions count, and nothing else.
 
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Reactions: dearlydeparted44

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