Help How do you cope with people staring at your scars?

[thelostautistic]

I wasn't sure whether to post this in the suicide discussion section or not so forgive me if it's in the wrong place. I'm having trouble navigating this situation. I've been wearing short sleeves all summer around most people for the first time in years. We've had so many heatwaves in the UK and I couldn't deal with suffering in the summer anymore. I understand that people are going to stare occasionally. It's human nature to be curious about things you don't see everyday. But a family member keeps staring at mine and it's making me feel more ashamed. I would say something but that conversation won't end well. If I mention things this person is doing that upset me they just get angry and guilt trip me for daring to open my mouth. I've learnt that it's not worth it. The whole thing just sucks. I wish I'd never SH in the first place.

How do you guys cope with this?

 

[hooman57]

the thing about it is that people stare, but thats it
nothing else
learning to not care abt others opinions is the most basic thing u can say here but it worked
my arms are covered but i have never noticed anybody looking at them because i dont care

 

[explosiveKai99]

I like to imagine not caring or simply not answering (I'm selectively mute), but the harsh truth is, I'm still wearing long sleeve even in 35°C+. Sometimes I go to shop and think is it this day today? and it never is. Fml.

 

[violetforever]

i dont really care. at this point its like a visual warning to strangers to not associate with me because im clearly mentally unstable. it works for that i guess.

 

[SilentNight1998]

I tattooed over my arm ones and I find I don't get the comments and stares I used to get before I tattooed them. Usually any comments I get now are related to my tattoos and not my scars. It probably doesn't work for everyone but I found that tattooing over my scars gave me a reason not to self harm over those areas because I didn't want to ruin the tattoos.

 

[NonEssential]

I got some SH scars on my right arm but I've fortunately never been confronted about them. Probably because back then I came to the realization that it would be better to do it in easily concealable places such as my thighs fairly quickly so there aren't that many on my arm.

 

[darksouls]

I am sorry you have to deal with this, I am indifferent to other people

 

[Forveleth]

As someone who has dressed goth/alternative most of their life, I learned to ignore the staring. I almost laugh at people who stare because I think they have way better things to do with their eyeballs than look at me. They could be watching a video, reading, looking at a tree. I think it shows how stupid they are and then find that funny.

 

[LonelyPrince]

I'm usually very self conscious and afraid of judgement but when it comes to my scars people can stare all they want. I don't care if they notice or are weirded out by them.
Honestly just stare back as intensely.

 

[tomame]

i'm ultimately ashamed of them as i strive for purity and delicacy.

i cover them up. they makes me feel tainted

 

[thelostautistic]

I tattooed over my arm ones and I find I don't get the comments and stares I used to get before I tattooed them. Usually any comments I get now are related to my tattoos and not my scars. It probably doesn't work for everyone but I found that tattooing over my scars gave me a reason not to self harm over those areas because I didn't want to ruin the tattoos.

I tattooed over my arm as well and it really helped. My arm still gets stared at but the tattoo has made me feel able to wear short sleeves.

Honestly just stare back as intensely.

I may have to do the same

I got some SH scars on my right arm but I've fortunately never been confronted about them. Probably because back then I came to the realization that it would be better to do it in easily concealable places such as my thighs fairly quickly so there aren't that many on my arm.

I had the same realisation. I don't touch my arms anymore. It has to be on my legs. No one is gonna see them so I don't care about those scars tbh.

 

[leowantstobedead]

the thing about it is that people stare, but thats it
nothing else
learning to not care abt others opinions is the most basic thing u can say here but it worked
my arms are covered but i have never noticed anybody looking at them because i dont care

But people staring is not it. I've had so many people comment on them and I hate it:/

 

[AsexualBarbieBoy]

I tend to wear long sleeves, especially at work where I would never show my arms. I have worn short sleeves in public a few times and noticed people stare.

 

[EternallyCold]

I have a few scars on my arms and I never wear long sleeves because the heat is unbearable in my country. I've learned to just live with it. I don't even notice when people stare anymore because I've gotten so used to it. Most of the time it's like my scars aren't even there. Some of my friends have pointed it out before and asked about them and I always feel like shit when they do coz I literally forget they're there until I'm reminded of it. Anyways I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Yea it's normal to be curious but you have to have some consideration for other people too

 

[webb&flow]

smile at them

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if they ask inappropiate questions, like "why do you have these", say "because of nunya." and if they ask further say "nunya BUSINESS!" and refuse to answer further

remember that THEY are INSULTING you and you have the right to react negatively.

If they are staring at you, smile and say "Hi! :) Can I help you?" and be super kind about it. The kinder you are to these jerks, the more uncomfortable you can make them ^^

It shoves the glimmer of your own humanity down their sick throats, and forces their judgmental eyes to look straight into your own. It sends a message. A message of power.

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Some of my friends have pointed it out before and asked about them and I always feel like shit when they do coz I literally forget they're there until I'm reminded of it.

If anyone ever does that, you always have the right to ask "Why are you bringing that up? My body does not exist for you to interrogate. Don't bring that stuff up. Thanks."

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