How do you cope with grief and guilt after a suicide?

[Afterglow]

A while ago, my best friend committed suicide. We had a suicide pact together. Unfortunately, life became too much to bear for her, and she ended up taking her own life 6 months ahead of the planned date.

I was the only person she told, and I was the one she was talking to in her final moments over text.

I did, and still do believe in the idea of full bodily autonomy... but I can't help but feel guilt. For the loving family that now has to mourn their daughter.

Barely a day goes by where I don't think about her or replay those messages in my head.

Part of me is grateful that she wasn't completely alone. Part of me feels like I owe it to her to end my life the same way.

I guess I'm just wondering... how do you live with that kind of grief and guilt?

 

[LastNite]

If you change your perspective and try to look at it in the way in which you were the one who had taken their life then you would understand that there is no guilt on the other person for not being able to do anything to save their friend or for not following the pact that theyve made together. If I had a friend and we agreed to die on the same date and I actually do it but my friend doesn't then I wouldn't mind it. Any source of hope to live is better than killing yourself and I would wish the best for that friend in whatever decision they make to improve their life. Im sorry for your loss.