PlannedforPeru
SaSu. Lurker
- Sep 21, 2024
- 154
How have you comforted someone close who has lost someone else close to self-inflicted CTB? I understand this is a weird thing to ask here but I'm sure many of the older folk here have dealt with something like this in the past. How have you found the right balance between giving them space and being there for them?
There's a personal reason I'm asking this which I'll include below.
There's a personal reason I'm asking this which I'll include below.
I cannot consult my family as it's not my business to inform others who know of the mourning in question. One of my closet friend's younger siblings just took their life last night, for context they were college aged, used a gruesome method in a remote location, my friend and I are both in our 20's. I don't think the realization has hit my friend yet, either that or they have unmatched mental fortitude. I slept through their call last night but when I called back this morning, they seemed normal, only difference telling me to be appreciative of my family and choking up when talking about the method.
I'll leave a text exchange I sent to another close friend of ours that summarizes my thoughts in comforting them:
(Surviving friend is S and the other friend as D.)
D: "I checked with S if they'd be fine with me flying down. They said it was such a busy week which I don't blame them. I just told them we'll find time."
Me: "If they are getting affairs in order I can't really blame them either, I don't want to force our presence on them, but they shouldn't have to be alone if they're conflicted. I honestly don't know if and when is the best time to be there for them, I'd like to hope they'll ask but they tend to be hard on themselves. They literally apologized to me for bringing down the mood. I guess I'll keep checking up on them every once in a while, be there when they reach out, and bring over some food when the busy-ness slows."
I cannot imagine the hell they are going through, especially considering we have similar melancholic attitudes towards life. It's unfathomable to me what this added on top would do psychologically.
I expect it to be a case of do your best as I know them best, but I need some guidance for traversing these eggshells from those more experienced with this. S, if you somehow someway manage to find this, I'm really fucking sorry, and know I care and am thinking about you lots.
I'll leave a text exchange I sent to another close friend of ours that summarizes my thoughts in comforting them:
(Surviving friend is S and the other friend as D.)
D: "I checked with S if they'd be fine with me flying down. They said it was such a busy week which I don't blame them. I just told them we'll find time."
Me: "If they are getting affairs in order I can't really blame them either, I don't want to force our presence on them, but they shouldn't have to be alone if they're conflicted. I honestly don't know if and when is the best time to be there for them, I'd like to hope they'll ask but they tend to be hard on themselves. They literally apologized to me for bringing down the mood. I guess I'll keep checking up on them every once in a while, be there when they reach out, and bring over some food when the busy-ness slows."
I cannot imagine the hell they are going through, especially considering we have similar melancholic attitudes towards life. It's unfathomable to me what this added on top would do psychologically.
I expect it to be a case of do your best as I know them best, but I need some guidance for traversing these eggshells from those more experienced with this. S, if you somehow someway manage to find this, I'm really fucking sorry, and know I care and am thinking about you lots.
