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Im planning to ctb tomorow and im trying to figure out a way to tell people so that they know to prepare themselves emotionally but i know that only like oneperson will care. I'm trying to decide whether or not i should even telll anyone. I tried writing letters but my parents found them and tore them up. I don't know what to do and I want people to be able to not grieve I don't want to hurt anyone but I know that this will make people happy and I don't understand why they can't see that
In my opinion I just don't think it's a good idea telling people in advance if you want to succeed in your plans, sadly I believe that in most cases this will just lead to people trying to so selfishly interfere.
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Blahblahlah, experimentee and hermestrimegistus
In my opinion I just don't think it's a good idea telling people in advance if you want to succeed in your plans, sadly I believe that in most cases this will just lead to people trying to so selfishly interfere.
Im planning to ctb tomorow and im trying to figure out a way to tell people so that they know to prepare themselves emotionally but i know that only like oneperson will care. I'm trying to decide whether or not i should even telll anyone. I tried writing letters but my parents found them and tore them up. I don't know what to do and I want people to be able to not grieve I don't want to hurt anyone but I know that this will make people happy and I don't understand why they can't see that
The unfortunate truth is that they are going to grieve one way or another, and letting them know beforehand is only going to end up making them feel guilty for not doing more to stop it... or lead to them actually stopping you. I think the most you can do is vaguely let them know how you feel, whether that's telling them you love them or something else.
Unfortunately there is no easy way to tell them. They will grieve the lose of you. If you say a "final goodbye" they will know, especially since they found your pervious suicide notes to them. If you are trying to spare them pain, you can't. They will try to stop you, to have you stay with them. A "normal" goodnight or simple smile may be all they have left of you, but that will be enough. Let them know how much you love them in the days/weeks leading up to your ctb. This will stay with them as a fond memory.
The unfortunate truth is that they are going to grieve one way or another, and letting them know beforehand is only going to end up making them feel guilty for not doing more to stop it... or lead to them actually stopping you. I think the most you can do is vaguely let them know how you feel, whether that's telling them you love them or something else.
Agreed. Just say, "I love you," and maybe affirm how much they mean to you at most. There is no amount of preparation that's going to shield them from the trauma they may experience. This is a brutal truth, but one that shouldn't be discounted or ignored. It must be considered appropriately if one is aware of it.
If they care about you, there is no way you can prepare them. Even people who are indifferent towards you will have a moment of sadness. Unless you are a person who is seriously ill and these people know about it. In such a situation, they could be a little prepared for your death, but it would still be very difficult.
You can send scheduled texts/emails to certain people set on a timer to be received after you successfully CTB. But i wouldnt recommend it. If you really care about these people you would not want them to carry the weight of knowing you thought about them before you CTB. Just keep it to yourself. Anything you write in a note can be misconstrued postmortem. And if you really care about them you dont want them to bear any guilt. Which will inevitably happen if you write a note/send messages. I'm compulsive and a hypocrite so I understand doing the opposite. I wish I had the self control not to do it but I probably will
It seems to me, based on experience, that the more that is said and goes on before it happens, the more there is for loved ones to latch onto and feel bad about.
The over-riding feelings after losing someone to suicide are ones of loss, regret and guilt. Intense pain too.
Would a note help to ease the pain felt by your loved ones. Well it's a note. It's not any part of you. I don't think so.
I would have thought the best way of having your loved ones understand your reasons and how you were feeling would be to talk to them. Whether you do that is up to you.
Perhaps, when you get to the point where you have decided and are ready, none of this will matter any more.
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