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lonleycrowdedwest

im so dumb i misspelled lonely
Aug 16, 2021
127
I am going to ctb tonight via SN. I'm afraid i will panic and call my sister and apoligize, scarring her even further. I have left a detailed not for everyone and specific notes to the ones close to me, detailing how its not their fault and was never in their control. What else can I do? please help me
 
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onleana

onleana

we'll meet again
Nov 19, 2021
88
you can turn off ur phone or don't take it with you altogether. please try to cbt only when u are ready. i wish you the best
 
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lonleycrowdedwest

im so dumb i misspelled lonely
Aug 16, 2021
127
you can turn off ur phone or don't take it with you altogether. please try to cbt only when u are ready. i wish you the best
I am still very afraid of the process of dying, not of the death. It's my time to go, im not meant for this world
 
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Crazy4u

Crazy4u

Enlightened
Sep 29, 2021
1,318
can you call now?
 
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onleana

onleana

we'll meet again
Nov 19, 2021
88
I am still very afraid of the process of dying, not of the death. It's my time to go, im not meant for this world
are you sure you're ready to go tonight? maybe it would be a good idea to give yourself at least a day or two more to think it thru. if that's a possibility for you of course. im sorry you are suffering. you can message me any time if you want to talk. im sending u lots of hugs
 
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lonleycrowdedwest

im so dumb i misspelled lonely
Aug 16, 2021
127
are you sure you're ready to go tonight? maybe it would be a good idea to give yourself at least a day or two more to think it thru. if that's a possibility for you of course. im sorry you are suffering. you can message me any time if you want to talk. im sending u lots of hugs
i really do appreciate that but I have given myself a few days to think it through every few days for the past 3 years. You seem like a really kind person so I hope you understand theres nothing you can do to help me, only lessen the pain on others in my life by giving advice.
can you call now?
I have mentioned that I have had suicidal thoughts and they know that I have a mood disorder. When it comes down to it there is nothing they can do to help. If i ask and then eventually CTB they will think they havent done enough instead of feeling bad I was suffering and am now dead.
 
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Angi

Specialist
Jan 4, 2022
305
Maybe you can call now anyways? Just to tell them you love them? To me it is very important my loved ones know this, and it seems to you as well.

It might help you, and it might help them, to have spoken to you when it is still possible. It seems so unfair that we get to talk to you now, and they don't.
 
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lonleycrowdedwest

im so dumb i misspelled lonely
Aug 16, 2021
127
can you call now?
My biggest goal here is to try to reduce blame and guilt.
Maybe you can call now anyways? Just to tell them you love them? To me it is very important my loved ones know this, and it seems to you as well.

It might help you, and it might help them, to have spoken to you when it is still possible. It seems so unfair that we get to talk to you now, and they don't.
I keep up with them often but that's a good idea
 
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ngmi

ngmi

お前はもう死んでいる。
Dec 1, 2021
25
I plan to reset my phone and wipe my computer when I ctb, but my motivations for that are different from yours (I don't trust my family and don't want them to bother former contacts about my death).

I don't feel tempted to call anyone when I ctb for two reasons. First, whoever I call would be likely to call 911 on me, which reduces the chance of a successful exit. Second, if you've already drank the poison, what could they possibly say to you that changes anything? If you really want them to hear your voice one last time, you can send a recorded message as a note. If you truly are ready to leave, then you shouldn't need to hear from them again.
 
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MusashiX

Member
Jan 27, 2022
18
You just do not call anyone. You are in control of your actions. There is no other answer to this question. If you are not in control of your own actions than you should not CTB.
 
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