How do I muster up the courage to kill myself?

[NoThanks2000]

Hello,
My method of suicide will be by a firearm. Problem is that I am really scared. The thought makes me shudder. How do I muster up the courage to go through with it? Tips?

 

[Ness]

Personally, I'd get used to pulling the trigger without bullets and then I'd do it with, but I haven't got access to a firearm myself so I'm not sure that'd be a valid option. I don't really know a lot about firearms in general, either, so probably good to take my words with a grain of salt. Or five.

Good luck with whatever future path you choose.

 

[Nem]

I hear you. Personally if I had a firearm I would have trouble not taking out as many drs as I could and then dying in a shootout. I've thought about getting access to a firearm but I would be concerned about failing and really screwing things up, I wish I could offer you more insight but killing yourself takes pretty much everything a human can gather to make it successful.
Peace/hugs

 

[HopeDiesLast]

I hear you. Personally if I had a firearm I would have trouble not taking out as many drs as I could and then dying in a shootout.

Well, good thing you DON'T have access to a firearm... :)

 

[mediocre]

I don't want to discourage you but it's a very messy method and it's not reliable. You could still live with brain damage. I think if it makes you shudder maybe that's a sign you should choose another method you're more comfortable with. Just my 2 cents.

 

[HannahB]

Would love to know myself but sadly if I figure it out I wont be able to tell ya

 

[sleepy dog]

Hello,
My method of suicide will be by a firearm. Problem is that I am really scared. The thought makes me shudder. How do I muster up the courage to go through with it? Tips?

The fact it is fast and easy should do something for you. By easy I mean just pull the trigger, no researching, ordering, or mixing and measuring chemicals or worrying about vomiting.

 

[Backwood_tilt]

Don't think about the outcome.

As someone else mentioned practice shooting at the range. Especially with one hand (if you intend to do it that way, which you will probably have to). Practice minimizing recoil, or at least being experienced enough to expect it and compensate for it.

Don't do it at the range tho, that's a little cruel to the others. Also they will probably be more prepared to try and save you in worst case scenario (gunshot to head is not 100%, though shotgun is close from what i understand).

If you mean emotionally, how do you prepare for such a thing, you just have ot know that there's no option left. I believe in pro-choice, but i still believe in the RIGHT choice (and that such a thing is individual). It's easier for me to think about CTB because life is not worth living anyways.

Edit: as someone mentioned, it's not guaranteed. Shotgun shells will bring you closer, but you will leave a mess for those who care about you (if you care about that sort of thing). I have thought about a 40 cal round or anything bigger. In terms of aiming, apparently it is best for it to cross both hemispheres or hit the brain stem if you can. As others have suggested, you might want to look at another method.

 

[Sensei]

Are you sure you're ready if you fear doing it?

 

[BPD Barbie]

Are you sure you're ready if you fear doing it?

My thoughts as well. I'm not casting aside your feelings of wanting to ctb, and of course there is an element of survival instincts telling you not to, but if you're fearful then maybe you're not really as ready as you think. Don't rush into a decision like this, take time, really think, research. If you're certain it's what you want then maybe look at other methods. But be sure it's what you want.

 

[mathieu]

Survival instinct seems to be more of an issue with methods like shooting, jumping and hanging, because it's so final. Taking N/SN, I think, would be easier because It's not instant.

 

[Despondent]

My thoughts as well. I'm not casting aside your feelings of wanting to ctb, and of course there is an element of survival instincts telling you not to, but if you're fearful then maybe you're not really as ready as you think. Don't rush into a decision like this, take time, really think, research. If you're certain it's what you want then maybe look at other methods. But be sure it's what you want.

I agree. It's a big decision to commit to and once you're gone, there's no coming back. I myself don't think I'm ready, although sometimes I get these impulsive urges to ctb. I don't think I'll ever have the guts to do it personally and I realize it's okay. However, I don't want to live this life that I've been given. I feel at a total loss and stuck between to sides. I don't know what to do. And this is all because I just don't want to deal anymore. With people, my thoughts, and the sadness/lonliness that sometimes consumes my entire body.

 

[Moonicide]

Hey, love. It's okay to be scared... Like people have said here, if you are scared then it's totally okay to step back and figure out why is that. Is there something still keeping you here? Are you holding onto the what ifs? If there is something besides fear that's making you uneasy, then it is something to look into. It's okay to not be ready to ctb. That option will always be there for you, take your time and really think this through. We're here for you.

Sending you all of my love and support.

 

[NoThanks2000]

Are you sure you're ready if you fear doing it?

I figured this is what every suicidal person goes through before committing the act. Am I wrong?

Hey, love. It's okay to be scared... Like people have said here, if you are scared then it's totally okay to step back and figure out why is that. Is there something still keeping you here? Are you holding onto the what ifs? If there is something besides fear that's making you uneasy, then it is something to look into. It's okay to not be ready to ctb. That option will always be there for you, take your time and really think this through. We're here for you.

Sending you all of my love and support.

Thank you so much. I don't want to screw up and make my life even worse than it already is.

 

[Sensei]

I figured this is what every suicidal person goes through before committing the act. Am I wrong?

I'm not sure I agree. In any case, there are different levels of fear.

 

[NoThanks2000]

I'm not sure I agree. In any case, there are different levels of fear.

I wish I wasn't so much of a pussy. I know I deserve to die.

 

[Sensei]

I wish I wasn't so much of a pussy. I know I deserve to die.

Maybe your fear is your subconsciuos mind telling you that you don't really think that you deserve to die?

 

[chris8000]

I wish I wasn't so much of a pussy. I know I deserve to die.

I convinced myself I deserved to die once, afterwards I figured out I had it wrong. I'm not sure anyone deserves to die because I don't agree with the death penalty for "sinful" people.

A lot of people that have done bad things, have turned things around and contributed to society in a positive way and feel good about it later on.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

And this is all because I just don't want to deal anymore. With people, my thoughts, and the sadness/lonliness that sometimes consumes my entire body.

Same as you just add health issues. Everyday I wish It was my last day. Hugs

 

[PartingGlass]

I'm right there with you. I'm struggling with this too. I've been so confused lately. I hate living but I don't have it in me to just end it. I never have. Don't know what to do anymore.

 

[MysticPerception]

I've attempted once before and I can personally say for me the thing that gave me enough courage was feeling absolutely overwhelmed with how shitty my life was at that moment. It doesn't necessarily have to be just courage. Being fed up or just so worn out and sad that you know CTB is the most positive outcome can help you pull the trigger finally. It varies from person to person though obviously. I wouldn't recommend digging yourself into a hole in an attempt to force yourself to overcome the fear and do it.

 

[Final Escape]

Would love to know myself but sadly if I figure it out I wont be able to tell ya

Omg this is classic for how I feel with borderline personality disorder lol! I hate when people ask me what I want, who iam, what do I want to do, tell me about yourself. I'm like there is no self so I can't give u easy answers to these questions. It was terrible trying to fill out the boxes on an online dating app because of this issue.

 

[TAW122]

@Ness has a good suggestion. I too have done it without bullets (dry-firing) and it helps me know how much pounds of pressure is required before the gun discharges. I hear a click when I go all the way.

Also, another thing to consider is using some alcohol just to lower SI and/or get a bit more comfortable if/when you decide to go through your attempt. You don't want to drink too much alcohol because you don't want to be drunk or end up impeding your motor and cognitive function as you need those to position the firearm properly and also squeeze the trigger until it goes off.