How do I make things less painful for my loved ones?

[bitchy.lil.fighter]

Honestly one of the biggest things stopping me from ctb is my girlfriend. I don't have family, cut off contact with my parents/immediate family 7 years ago. I have very few friends. But I have a girlfriend of more than 1 year who is very sweet to me. She knows about how suicidal I am, she tells me that she worries someday she'll just come home and I won't be there. I know it will destroy her when I finally kill myself. I often wonder if it would be better if I warned her beforehand, or if it would be easier if she wasn't expecting it (she is very anarchist and has told me she believes it's my right to choose if I keep living or not. I don't think she would try to stop me). I dunno.

What do you think about this? Can you think of any ways to make my passing easier on the one person who actually seems to give a shit about me?

 

[J&L383]

I actually feel the same way. My ex-wife. She loved me, she cared, even though it didn't work out. To some degree also my brothers. I've tried to write down the reasons why. I'm not sure anything can be said ahead of time but I will try. If not, maybe they can understand after I have left this earth. All we can we can do is try to help them understand.

 

[Worndown]

Put your thougjts and fears in a nice note. You told us a little. Tell her this story too.

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

I kind of relate to this. At this point the main thing keeping me around is my long term partner. He's very important to me. At times I'm regretful of this, and at other times I value it. It's complicated. At times I feel I've been self destructive and tried to create a space where he'd leave me so I could follow through with me method. Somehow he stays with me. It's frustrating, but also heartwarming. Life's complicated.

Outside of this person, I have distanced myself from all family and friends. I'm very confident in myself that when this relationship falls apart, as all do, I'll be pretty free from social relationships that most wouldn't notice my absence for a time.

We don't even have a pet to worry about. We had a cat that passed away last year. I knew when this happened that I was one step closer to no direct relationships to worry about.

I find myself falling into behaviors that I feel will lead my partner to leave me. He's dedicated and I feel bad to leave him first.

As soon as he leaves, I have direct plans to carry out.