How do I make things less painful for my loved ones?

[bitchy.lil.fighter]

Honestly one of the biggest things stopping me from ctb is my girlfriend. I don't have family, cut off contact with my parents/immediate family 7 years ago. I have very few friends. But I have a girlfriend of more than 1 year who is very sweet to me. She knows about how suicidal I am, she tells me that she worries someday she'll just come home and I won't be there. I know it will destroy her when I finally kill myself. I often wonder if it would be better if I warned her beforehand, or if it would be easier if she wasn't expecting it (she is very anarchist and has told me she believes it's my right to choose if I keep living or not. I don't think she would try to stop me). I dunno.

What do you think about this? Can you think of any ways to make my passing easier on the one person who actually seems to give a shit about me?

 

[J&L383]

I actually feel the same way. My ex-wife. She loved me, she cared, even though it didn't work out. To some degree also my brothers. I've tried to write down the reasons why. I'm not sure anything can be said ahead of time but I will try. If not, maybe they can understand after I have left this earth. All we can we can do is try to help them understand.

 

[Worndown]

Put your thougjts and fears in a nice note. You told us a little. Tell her this story too.

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

I kind of relate to this. At this point the main thing keeping me around is my long term partner. He's very important to me. At times I'm regretful of this, and at other times I value it. It's complicated. At times I feel I've been self destructive and tried to create a space where he'd leave me so I could follow through with me method. Somehow he stays with me. It's frustrating, but also heartwarming. Life's complicated.

Outside of this person, I have distanced myself from all family and friends. I'm very confident in myself that when this relationship falls apart, as all do, I'll be pretty free from social relationships that most wouldn't notice my absence for a time.

We don't even have a pet to worry about. We had a cat that passed away last year. I knew when this happened that I was one step closer to no direct relationships to worry about.

I find myself falling into behaviors that I feel will lead my partner to leave me. He's dedicated and I feel bad to leave him first.

As soon as he leaves, I have direct plans to carry out.

 

[bgh3192]

only reason I haven't CTB is what it would do to my parents. I don't want to destroy them in the golden years of their life. It's a catch 22. We escape our pain but leave some version of it behind for others.

 

[wilderwein]

I have the opposite situation, my boyfriend will most likely not care when I leave. And my family, especially my mother, will be broken. They don't even suspect my thoughts, otherwise I would have been in a psychiatric hospital long ago, so it will be a shock for them. The only thing we can do is leave a note or maybe an audio message, as much detail as possible

 

[auto138491]

I think i would discuss it with a partner. Slowly at first, and not from a place of convincing. more from a place of explaining yourself and understanding their fear of losing you. If that is not possible, then the next best thing is to leave a long notebook chronicled over a long time, which shares how you thought of them and the number of times you stopped because you wanted them.

 

[byrondylan]

I am so scared to leave behind my family and my dog. I know I'm in a different position to most people here. I have terminal cancer and just want to control how my life ends. I truly hope that you are able to find some strength to keep going

 

[Ashes of a Dreamer]

1) Warning, if you think people are open to understand such taboo topic - as your girlfriend does;

2) Leaving a note explaining your reasons - you can't control others reaction, but if you care about someone, it's good to ensure that it wasn't their fault;

3) Organizing the transmission of your belongings.