how do I find a girlfriend?

[SVEN]

"And what first attracted you to the millionaire, Paul Daniels ?"
Said to Mrs Paul Daniels (Debbie McGhee) by the late Caroline Aherne as Mrs Merkle.

 

[CeaseExist]

Also, final comment from me, because it turns into spam:

OP asked "HOW DO I FIND A GIRLFRIEND?" not "tell me about your political views" so if everyone can calm down with throwing agenda where it doesn't belong, that would be nice

Just because you don't want to find a girlfriend, doesn't mean others don't want to find one too. Cheers

 

[-nobodyknows-]

Also, one thing I forgot to add again: F L I R T with her, I've seen guys grab attention of girls and straight up forgetting to flirt...then ending up looking like some uninterested activists or religious missionaries.

What if I don't know how to flirt

 

[ConfusedHurting2632]

That's always the REAL question, huh? Answer is, this is an incredibly complicated question. A bunch of different people are all gonna give you a bunch of different advice. Including lots of YouTube videos and published books on this very same topic.

But just general advice to follow, work on yourself first rather than seeking out women right away. So work on yourself, both physically and mentally. Work out, eat healthy, etc. Regularly challenge yourself just in general, learn new skills. Preferably have a decent job. Work on your social skills too. If you have mental illnesses make sure you're doing therapy, medications, etc.

Beyond that, just simply meet new people. Make sure to hang out in spaces that have both a lot of women and a lot of men, rather than spaces that are primarily male dominated. Hanging out in primarily female dominated spaces might make you look a bit too desperate, so mixed sex is better. Speak to women similarly to how you would speak to men. Don't take it too literally like if you and your male friends regularly make jokes about dicks and porn, don't talk about that to women you barely know. But just speak to them like you would talk to men you barely know. Don't make it so obvious you're seeking out romance from them.

And beyond that, learn to respect boundaries, learn how to take rejection well, possible break ups well, etc. A woman says no don't try to force it. A woman rejects you just move on to the next. If you break up with your girlfriend it really sucks but it's not the end of the world. That's why you shouldn't place too much value on any one person in general. You can only count on yourself, not on others.

 

[CeaseExist]

What if I don't know how to flirt

I'm not saying this as in dismissing you, but real advice - search on the web "what is flirting", after you establish somewhat your understanding, maybe watch some videos (not the pick up artists ones ugh) that dwell on the subject of flirting - you have to go out there, get to know people, and flirt with them.

If you will still claim that you don't know how to flirt even after watching people flirt with each other, then sorry, but maybe a therapist could help with that. Everyone learns how to flirt by experience, nobody suddenly gets enlightened at the age of 13 and suddenly is a flirt master or knows how to. You will need to fumble, fail, fold under pressure, cringe on yourself.

If you want I could give you some pointers and search for good resources on flirting with you, just dm me

 

[Izzythebelle]

my personality is merely a consequence of being treated liek shit for my looks.

skill issue imo, you can choose to have some agency over your personality and not let yourself just be some consequence of circumstance. mastery over one's attitude and behaviours is hot, imo.